ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
The coffee is a safe bet until you know she is fun. It is a quick convenient way to screen a woman you have just met [through cold approach]. If you find her to be fun, then you take her somewhere fun next time.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
For date-coffee or drink
- Thread starter Darrenez
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I don't worry about her being fun. I decide my own fun and take her with me.
If you like cold approaching and going to coffee shops that's you.
I don't have time for that unless it's a part of something better I'm doing.
I also don't have time to walk.up to strangers and just ask them out. I've got other things to do.
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
- Plenty of times I've stated I don't do the classic cold approach... I just naturally meet woman in the course of my day
- You don't want a wet rag hanging around you at a fun event. It may prevent you from meeting a more fun person
Never had that problem as I get to.know a chick before we go out. And if she was a wet rag? She can go get coffee to liven up while I finish doing what I'm doing.
@ChristopherColumbus don't forget you are in Korea mate. An American girl is going to need a little Kickstarter to get her motor running
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
Yes, was at a bar the other week with an American lass. Was propositioned on the way home in the taxi, but sadly I was simply not attracted to her. She was too much of a 'mate'. Nice to friend-zone a woman for a change! ha ha
Compare that to a coffee date in the weekend. The Korean lady arrives late, which was fine as was working on a poem. Anyway, perhaps due to the poetic flow, we were well-engaged in a bubble within all of 5 minutes of meeting. A quick coffee, and then to the park. Unfortunately, it was a bit public as it would have been perfectly fine to have commenced kissing.