"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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First time at her place and you need to take a dump?

Naughty Ninja

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This is some 'sh!tty' advice! I'll bump it like a floater.

I guess this thread begs the question: Would you rather be the guy at her house the first time and have to take a dump? Or a two pump chump?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Atom Smasher

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I've been known to manufacture a "muffler" out of a wad of toilet paper in order to keep things quiet.

The thing I don't like about the double flush is that it essentially broadcasts to the girl that, well, you need to double-flush. She must be picturing you there taking that nice dump.

You guys with the matches, don't you think she's aware of the burning smell and the reason behind it?

All of this is a part of pedastalizing, methinks. It's as if we think they don't do the very same thing. Perhaps we should dump with reckless abandon and pride in our creations.
 

Metzgermeister

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The best thing to do is NOT WORRY ABOUT IT. Everybody ****s and yes, girls know it. Being a little insecure weenis sitting in the bathroom burning matches is un-confident behavior. It will WRECK your chances.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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floydb25

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The link posted in the beginning of this thread still makes me laugh. That story deserves a medal, or a shrine somewhere.
 
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