"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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First time at her place and you need to take a dump?

Naughty Ninja

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This is some 'sh!tty' advice! I'll bump it like a floater.

I guess this thread begs the question: Would you rather be the guy at her house the first time and have to take a dump? Or a two pump chump?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Atom Smasher

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I've been known to manufacture a "muffler" out of a wad of toilet paper in order to keep things quiet.

The thing I don't like about the double flush is that it essentially broadcasts to the girl that, well, you need to double-flush. She must be picturing you there taking that nice dump.

You guys with the matches, don't you think she's aware of the burning smell and the reason behind it?

All of this is a part of pedastalizing, methinks. It's as if we think they don't do the very same thing. Perhaps we should dump with reckless abandon and pride in our creations.
 

Metzgermeister

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The best thing to do is NOT WORRY ABOUT IT. Everybody ****s and yes, girls know it. Being a little insecure weenis sitting in the bathroom burning matches is un-confident behavior. It will WRECK your chances.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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floydb25

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The link posted in the beginning of this thread still makes me laugh. That story deserves a medal, or a shrine somewhere.
 
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