You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is exactly what I was thinking.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Good post Kailex. I pretty much hold the same views myself.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
This is me as well though my time as a number 1 was very short lived.I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindless.backbreaker said:Not only that, it's what your definition of fun is.
i'm the same way. If i have a few hours to kill, and i want to do something completely mindless, I mean, don't get me wrong I play the **** of my ps3 lol, I"d be lying otherwise (arkim city is pretty bad ass), while my wife provides color commentary of what I should be doing and why I keep dying (the most fun we have had in a while was us beating resident evil 5 together, while she could play as the chick and i could play as chris at the same time. we beat that game in about a week), more times than not i will go to the gym and go swimming. that's fun to me. or play my piano.zekko said:I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindles.
s
I did that in my 20s, but at some point it just got to seem very dumb and boring. So you would think I would not make a good DJ in this day and age. I definitely wouldn't fit into the "RSD" mold, which is very club oriented: "Let's have fun!!! Whoooo!!" Odd thing is, women seem more attracted to me since I've left that stuff behind. Maybe it's because I'm being more true to myself now.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.