She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
This is exactly what I was thinking.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Good post Kailex. I pretty much hold the same views myself.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
This is me as well though my time as a number 1 was very short lived.I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindless.backbreaker said:Not only that, it's what your definition of fun is.
i'm the same way. If i have a few hours to kill, and i want to do something completely mindless, I mean, don't get me wrong I play the **** of my ps3 lol, I"d be lying otherwise (arkim city is pretty bad ass), while my wife provides color commentary of what I should be doing and why I keep dying (the most fun we have had in a while was us beating resident evil 5 together, while she could play as the chick and i could play as chris at the same time. we beat that game in about a week), more times than not i will go to the gym and go swimming. that's fun to me. or play my piano.zekko said:I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindles.
s
I did that in my 20s, but at some point it just got to seem very dumb and boring. So you would think I would not make a good DJ in this day and age. I definitely wouldn't fit into the "RSD" mold, which is very club oriented: "Let's have fun!!! Whoooo!!" Odd thing is, women seem more attracted to me since I've left that stuff behind. Maybe it's because I'm being more true to myself now.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.