Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
This is exactly what I was thinking.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Good post Kailex. I pretty much hold the same views myself.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is me as well though my time as a number 1 was very short lived.I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindless.backbreaker said:Not only that, it's what your definition of fun is.
i'm the same way. If i have a few hours to kill, and i want to do something completely mindless, I mean, don't get me wrong I play the **** of my ps3 lol, I"d be lying otherwise (arkim city is pretty bad ass), while my wife provides color commentary of what I should be doing and why I keep dying (the most fun we have had in a while was us beating resident evil 5 together, while she could play as the chick and i could play as chris at the same time. we beat that game in about a week), more times than not i will go to the gym and go swimming. that's fun to me. or play my piano.zekko said:I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindles.
s
I did that in my 20s, but at some point it just got to seem very dumb and boring. So you would think I would not make a good DJ in this day and age. I definitely wouldn't fit into the "RSD" mold, which is very club oriented: "Let's have fun!!! Whoooo!!" Odd thing is, women seem more attracted to me since I've left that stuff behind. Maybe it's because I'm being more true to myself now.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.