You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is exactly what I was thinking.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Good post Kailex. I pretty much hold the same views myself.Kailex said:I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is me as well though my time as a number 1 was very short lived.I used to be #1. I turned into #2.
And let me tell you on a personal level, I am a LOT more happy being #2 than #1. Why? Because I am doing what I want to do when I want to do.
Not only that, but I place a higher "bar" on the women I'd want to go out with. Basically, my free time is precious and I'd rather spend that free time with a range of higher quality women than going out on a bunch of first dates and flings with anyone that has female anatomical parts.
Thus, there is no real answer to who is the real prize, because the real piece of information missing is: Who is happier in their current position?
Just because I'm happier being #2 than #1, doesn't mean that is the case for everyone else.
But I did notice that since being #2, I've eliminated a LOT of the riff raff I used to see myself "dating" in the past. Then again, I don't overwork myself that much, I find a nice balance for myself.
I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindless.backbreaker said:Not only that, it's what your definition of fun is.
i'm the same way. If i have a few hours to kill, and i want to do something completely mindless, I mean, don't get me wrong I play the **** of my ps3 lol, I"d be lying otherwise (arkim city is pretty bad ass), while my wife provides color commentary of what I should be doing and why I keep dying (the most fun we have had in a while was us beating resident evil 5 together, while she could play as the chick and i could play as chris at the same time. we beat that game in about a week), more times than not i will go to the gym and go swimming. that's fun to me. or play my piano.zekko said:I'm glad you brought that up, because "fun" has sometimes been a sticking point for me. To me, "fun" means building up my skills, in a sport or hobby or whatever. Doing or building something I want to do. Or maybe relaxing after a hard day's work. As opposed to going out drinking and going "whoooo", which is very mindles.
s
I did that in my 20s, but at some point it just got to seem very dumb and boring. So you would think I would not make a good DJ in this day and age. I definitely wouldn't fit into the "RSD" mold, which is very club oriented: "Let's have fun!!! Whoooo!!" Odd thing is, women seem more attracted to me since I've left that stuff behind. Maybe it's because I'm being more true to myself now.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.