"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Female orgasm stories! Post your weirdest/coolest/sexiest
- Thread starter lebRambo
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
And the things she would make me do...
Watch out for those good girls.
JJ
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
btw this was before they caught us having sex on their couch downstairs. :rockon:
comic_relief
Serialized3
Master Don Juan
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
This is the worst display of hordoms I have read/heard yet!!!comic_relief said:
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
Think of it from the woman's perspective!! Hordoms are bad enough in private but in the seat of a car in front of your parents!!! THIS IS BOLD!!!!!!!!!!!! If I was her father she would deserve death!!!! And Mr. Comic would be dead as well for disrespecting me as a man and her father!!!!!!lebRambo said:you serious LMS? Thats some cool sh*t, IMO!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
TruthHurts
Don Juan
its a myth... the ejaculation ur reffering to is actually her peeing on you...Serialized3 said:
the vaginal lube comes from balbous (or something like that) gland located right as you inter the vagina on either side.... the squirting comes from urethra (pee pee) sorry bud... but its a myth... i remember this kid in highschool talking about how he turns his girl on so much she squirts all over.. I brought to class medical books and proved that in fact he got peed on hahah
Serialized3
Master Don Juan
I don't believe it is urine. It looks different and smells completely different than urine. Just another mystery of female anatomy...
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
TruthHurts
Don Juan
hahahhaa... bll****...Serialized3 said:
listen.. it smells differnet cause it comes out unfinished... for example i remember when i tied my dog to a chair (when it was young) it try to ran and chair fell on it (didnt hurt it) but scared it.. it peed.. and that **** smelled.. i.e. maybe pee is not diluted enough... or what not.. maybe its mixed with vaginal lube (i.e. lube is all over).. what ever the case may be...
if there is a lot of fluid.. its PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i.e. during orgasm her urinary spincter relaxes man...
think about it, what happens to people when they die, or get electracuted, they release sh.t and piss...
dont feel bad..if you made her pee on you, it means you made her loose her bodly control...good job...
(golden shower)comic_relief
Master Don Juan
I suppose that I should feel proud, but that is just one of the many stories that I have.Last Man Standing said:
Some of the other stories include:
X getting caught by her parents while I was having sex with her in her bed.
X fingering her while I was sitting in the couch of her grandfather's house (that one I felt bad about)
X fingering her while I was driving down the turnpike at 85 mph with her best friend in the backseat.
This girl was a little bit off her rocker. She wouldn't do sh!t with me though when she was in front of my parents because she knew that they would kick her @$$.
My parents are the sh!t. They also extremely disliked her as well as all of my other friends.
comic_relief
PS: I am still on good terms with the dad. We will still talk for quite a bit of time. Her mother hates me because I broke up with the daughter. She was too damn clingy and wierd for me.
Crank_It_Up
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2004
- Messages
- 546
- Reaction score
- 1
Fenderules
Master Don Juan
yeah the chick im bang'n squirts a bit. she just keeps cumming and cumming and skirting and skirting.Serialized3 said:
Last night she said she came like 5 times.
its nice cause all i do is keep my **** hard. She just rides it and rides it and rides it..........
hahahahah! Oh man, that would have been priceless!DevanE said:I was bangin the hell out of this Hawaiian/Dominican chick, I was all in her gut just UGH UGH UGGGH!!!! until she tells me to choke her...? I'm thinking WTF and actualy got a little scared but turned on at the same time, soooo...I started choking her and fuked her even harder, slapped her around a little bit too I slapped her across the face hard a couple of times and she was loving every fukin minute of it and talking sh** so I upped the ante and REALLY went to work on her ass...but damn when she came...she started havin seizures and passed out. Well you can just imagine the scene as I almost sh**ed a brick when I saw her on the bed and with my di** all hard wondering if I killed her.
Great times.
YEAH YEAH YEAH FVCK ME FVCK ME FVCK ME...OOOHHHHHH! *fvcking unconscious* hahaha! :crackup:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.