"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

fear of stds

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Sandow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2007
Messages
930
Reaction score
40
Location
CA
Std's are far more common in lower income areas. they did a study on this and results concluded that most std's come from poor areas. try to bang girls that are hot, they come from good areas, and chances are they've been safe. stay away from *****s who come from the ghetto. also always use protection no matter what. also try to avoid one night stands. get to know her first, then bang away. get f-buddies that u know are safe. just try to stay in good-upscale areas, with alot of hotties. no slums.
 

Someone Much cooler

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 8, 2007
Messages
450
Reaction score
6
Location
East Coast
Sandow
dig a little deeper. It isn't so much because of the people, its because the poor people can't afford contraceptives. Condoms aren't cheap and neither is birth control. Poverty is a revolving door.

In rich areas they might be able to afford the condoms, but sometimes the girls are wild. I go to a good school,i am froma really bad area and some really good areas. I tell you there are nasty girls rich and poor
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,256
Reaction score
236
Age
49
Location
at our house
snowdog said:
About blow jobs... is it weird/unusual to put a condom on when it comes down to that?
most people don't really use oral condoms for bjs.
perhaps that is a real problem since you certainly can catch things by oral sex.
usually health departments and std clinics give them away free.
most places that sell condoms sell these too.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

L777

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
1,206
Reaction score
20
Age
39
Location
manchester UK
kingwilliam said:
I have dodged bullets......100+ women...... when I was in college I was like a ****ing rabbit.... now days I'm puttin a helmet on that soldier.
Fratboy right? yea I've actually slept with 200+ women :rolleyes:
 

snowdog

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2007
Messages
1,216
Reaction score
70
penkitten said:
most people don't really use oral condoms for bjs.
perhaps that is a real problem since you certainly can catch things by oral sex.
usually health departments and std clinics give them away free.
most places that sell condoms sell these too.
Yea... having herpes on the lips is one thing, having it on the **** sounds horrible. I haven't caught it yet, and i intent to keep it that way.
 

superchristx

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 13, 2004
Messages
216
Reaction score
4
Herpes is the worst one, in my opinion, because blood tests can't verify whether you have genital herpes or the kind of herpes that is very common in the population. The only way to get tested for herpes is to have the doc swab a lesion, and you can have herpes without ever having had a lesion! I might have herpes right now, I have no signs and no blood test has found it, but i still just might!

The safest thing to do, while having a normal sex life, is to be open with your partners. Where have they been, have they been tested, do they use condoms all the time, only for intercourse, what? How many have they been with in the last year? If you get any kind of a weird vibe here, she doesnt like talking about that 'stuff' or she just never worries about it and opens her legs, say 'no thanks.'

There's risk in everything, it's no reason to deny yourself. You can't have love without sex, and you can't have sex without risk. Are you really going to live without love and sexuality and happiness, because you are afraid of germs?
 

pimpfromdayone

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 13, 2005
Messages
674
Reaction score
1
Age
40
Rollo Tomassi said:
The Myth of the Dodged Bullet

In my lifetime I've had sex with over 40 women and I never once caught a venerial disease, nor did I get anyone pregnant. I can also point to men I know who contracted Herpes from the only women they'd ever had sex with. The fact of the matter is that you can equally be a rock star and tap hundreds of women without any consequence and you can be a virginic saint and contract a disease on your wedding night. The myth of the dodged bullet is an AFC social convention that's rooted in the rationalization that monogamy serves the purpose for controlling sexually transmitted diseases and thus fewer partners are more desirable than many. From a statistical standpoint this may seem logical on the surface. Fewer opportunities for sexual intercourse would indeed decrease the risk from a single individual, but unfortunately this isn't a practical estimate. You'll also have to base the numbers not only on how many sex partners you and your monogamous partner have had, but also how many prior partners they've had and how many those partners had as well and so on exponentially. Yet inspite of all this, the odds that you'll die from a form of cancer, heart disease, smoking or obesety related diseases or even an alcohol related traffic fatality far outweigh any risk of dying from a venerial disease in western society. The mortality rate for for contracting gonnerhea, syphilis, clymidia, herpes and even HIV pale in comparison to many - in some cases more easily preventable - diseases.

Of course, since this is a social convention, I would be grossly negligent and severely lambasted by the public at large for even implying that I'm condoning, much less advocating, that a man explore his options and open his experience up to having sex with multiple partners. This AFC social convention/rationalization is unassailable; it sounds like it makes good sense, "boy, am I sure glad I got married/shacked up and didn't catch a disease, pffew!" It sounds like conviction, when in fact it's a rationalization for a lack of other realistic options with women or an innability to deal with a fear of rejection from multiple sources. Beware of turning your lack of game into a virtue, you're only fooling yourself.
What a load of bull****. It has nothing to do with some AFC rationalization. It is simply a mathematical inevitability, and these people are right to try to stay safe out there. You might as well say using dirty needles isn't dangerous. Just because the probability of getting HIV is low doesn't mean you shouldn't take precautions to avoid contracting it. And the more dirty needles you use, the greater your chances of getting it. The same is true with women. By some estimates, something like 25% to 50% of people catch at least one STD during their lifetimes (and I've also read that 1 in 4 have herpes). Now, these numbers didn't just come out of nowhere... I'm sure the epidemiologists were smart enough to control for biases in their studies, and even if you sampled only women from middle income to higher income families, the rate might go down but the risk is still there. OK, just to be conservative, let's say that 1/4 of your potential female mates do have the dreaded herpes (you may substitute the lovely HPV if it makes the example more vivid for you). Obviously the number of sexual partners the women each have would affect their own chances of getting herpes, but by the law of large numbers, if you pick 4 women randomly from the population, 1 will have it. Anyway, let's also assume, for simplicity, that you go in unprotected and will contract herpes if you have sex with a girl who has it. But this doesn't mean your odds of contracting herpes are independent of the number of women you sleep with. The more women you bang, the higher your chances of catching herpes. Now, to illustrate, randomly select 4 women and have sex with one of them. The odds are that 3 of these women are clean. So, after banging the first girl, your odds of staying clean are 3/4. Find 4 more women and again pick one to have sex with. For this event, your chances of staying clean are again 3/4. The probability of getting this far without getting herpes is now 3/4*3/4 = 9/16, or just over 50%. Repeat process. By 10 sexual encounters, your odds of staying clean drop to 5%. By 40, .001%. NOT contracting a disease by this point would definitely be "statistically significant." You're virtually guaranteed to get something if you keep going.

Now, you yourself apparently realize this, so how is this reasoning not appropriate for forming a "practical estimate?"

Personally, I don't think a person should avoid sex entirely due to these risks, but being smart never hurt anyone. Not wearing a condom is just stupid, both because of STD's and the risk of pregnancy. As discussed above, limiting one's number of sexual partners also doesn't hurt anything. But most importantly, find some quality women, not drunkards and party animals. I'm sure there is a negative relationship between education level and STD rate. Find intelligent, professional, value-oriented women. Save the sorority girls and party sluts for the frat boys who don't have the brains to attract smarter women. Many of them have things that you don't want! It also makes sense when you look at it from the perspective of natural selection. Some STD's have the potential to damage reproductive organs and limit the ability to reproduce (HPV and cervical cancer comes to mind), so in the end, all the smart and less promiscuous women on average have more offspring and it is their genes (along with the successful males that copulate with them) that dominate the next generation of human beings.
 

Incremental

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
30
Reaction score
0
Location
Tempe, AZ (USA)
Pimp, I don't think Rollo was dissing condom usage. If he was he almost certainly would have brought up pregnancy issues as well and just as throughly. He was talking about the flawed math people use to justify monogamy.

By the way, you could make your argument more effective if you slant the math in favor of your opponent. That way when you bring it around to your point it will have more impact. It's like verbal inertia.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,256
Reaction score
236
Age
49
Location
at our house
snowdog said:
Yea... having herpes on the lips is one thing, having it on the **** sounds horrible. I haven't caught it yet, and i intent to keep it that way.
it hurts the same amount, so having it on the mouth has an extra con of everyone being able to see it and you can now spread it by the simple act of kissing whereas the genital kind, has a scarier "make them all run away" talk.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

The Inside Man

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
549
Reaction score
8
Location
sofla
I
t's really just a matter of luck, it's a risk that you take. There are things you can do to cut down on the risk like using condoms but they don't always work as stated earlier. As far as getting herpes, my best friend got it orally from *kissing* a girl, who he said had a visible sore but he was too drunk to think about it.
The more partners someone has had, the more their likelihood increases also but not an absolute predictor. Just remember that sex is really serious and can have consequences beyond that drunk saturday night. I have had some close calls and done some dumb things but I tested clean. That said, go out and have fun, be safe !
 

joe12345

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2007
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
its statistics..more partners more chances; less protection more chances..funny people here call girls with STD sluts, what does it make guy?
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
37
joe12345 said:
its statistics..more partners more chances; less protection more chances..funny people here call girls with STD sluts, what does it make guy?
Pimps!

Getting a virgin is the only way to be safe!
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
62
Last Man Standing said:
Pimps!

Getting a virgin is the only way to be safe!
Virgin can be shit load of diseases as well. You are not guaranteed to "Safe" by getting virgin.
 

Rollo Tomassi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2004
Messages
5,307
Reaction score
343
Age
58
Location
Nevada
PIMP, I'm not advocating for anyone to jump out of a plane without a parachute. One of the reasons I was able to avoid contracting any STD in my 20's was because I was responsible and protected. However, you actually prove the point I was making; one way AFCs rationalize their lack of game is using a dodged bullet mentality with regards to STDs. Just by me saying that provokes a rash, binary response because it's a socially unassailable premise. It sounds like I'm promoting irresponsibility, when in fact all I'm doing is pointing out an uncomfortable rationalization.

I can also take this a step further and say that in reacting as strongly as most AFCs would to this, they do so from the premise that by their vehemence they hope to prove themselves (even in a semi-anonymous environment) as being more responsible than "other guys" in hopes to qualify themselves being more worthy of female intimacy.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Top