Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Failed Approaches

Dean Gladwyn

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2022
Messages
48
Reaction score
25
Age
43
Location
United Kingdom
There’s too much focus on saying the ‘right thing’ during an approach, and not enough on the vibe, energy, body language and how we deliver what we say. Approaches are failing because we’re disregarding our sub-communications.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,113
Reaction score
1,287
What is within us gets expressed outward. Nothing is hidden in the long term.
 

characternote

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
849
Reaction score
1,017
There’s too much focus on saying the ‘right thing’ during an approach, and not enough on the vibe, energy, body language and how we deliver what we say. Approaches are failing because we’re disregarding our sub-communications.
There's probably too much focus on ALL of that stuff, tbh (including body language and delivery etc)
it's not even really a matter of 'learning from your mistakes'. As long as one is basically a normal dude, there's nothing to 'learn' from a rejection. The answer was very likely that he just wasn't her type. She wasn't attracted to him. Not in his control at all. It's a numbers game. Watch infields and you'll see guys with apparent 'elite level game' with rejection compilations in their products as long as your arm
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,193
Reaction score
2,491
Age
124
There's probably too much focus on ALL of that stuff, tbh (including body language and delivery etc)
it's not even really a matter of 'learning from your mistakes'. As long as one is basically a normal dude, there's nothing to 'learn' from a rejection. The answer was very likely that he just wasn't her type. She wasn't attracted to him. Not in his control at all. It's a numbers game. Watch infields and you'll see guys with apparent 'elite level game' with rejection compilations in their products as long as your arm
The key is to be or at least act as a guy who is successful with women . Basically to subcommunicate that women like you , and most importantly not to behave like a low level individual

The rest is bullsh1t
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,994
Reaction score
4,493
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
There's probably too much focus on ALL of that stuff, tbh (including body language and delivery etc)
it's not even really a matter of 'learning from your mistakes'. As long as one is basically a normal dude, there's nothing to 'learn' from a rejection. The answer was very likely that he just wasn't her type. She wasn't attracted to him. Not in his control at all. It's a numbers game. Watch infields and you'll see guys with apparent 'elite level game' with rejection compilations in their products as long as your arm
Exactly. Unless you said or did something truly offensive, or you missed strong IOIs and failed to make a move, there are typically no "mistakes."
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,293
Reaction score
4,811
Age
44
There’s too much focus on saying the ‘right thing’ during an approach, and not enough on the vibe, energy, body language and how we deliver what we say. Approaches are failing because we’re disregarding our sub-communications.
The main thing is to actually do it. If you can get past that, it hardly matters what you say.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
12,987
Reaction score
13,889
There’s too much focus on saying the ‘right thing’ during an approach, and not enough on the vibe, energy, body language and how we deliver what we say. Approaches are failing because we’re disregarding our sub-communications.
Partially. But when doing approaches, especially cold approaches you have a very small percent of those women who are open to having someone new in their life at that time, regardless of what they think of the person approaching them.

A guy could do everything right, she could think they are charming and attractive, but if she isn't open to anyone new in her life at that moment, they will fail through no real fault of their own.

Timing plays the biggest part in all of that.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,036
Reaction score
3,447
There's probably too much focus on ALL of that stuff, tbh (including body language and delivery etc)
it's not even really a matter of 'learning from your mistakes'. As long as one is basically a normal dude, there's nothing to 'learn' from a rejection. The answer was very likely that he just wasn't her type. She wasn't attracted to him. Not in his control at all. It's a numbers game. Watch infields and you'll see guys with apparent 'elite level game' with rejection compilations in their products as long as your arm
If @characternote can be successful then its hopeful for the sub 5s and low tier normies. He is a successful sub 5 which is contra to blackpill think but he has a very high number game.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,067
Reaction score
10,350
Approaches are failing because we’re disregarding our sub-communications.
This is only partially true. How do you account for changes in Game over time?


Women are more heavily pursued now and have more male options. It's possible for a man to do everything right and still take a lot of L's in the game because of the intense male competition.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
950
Reaction score
749
Age
38
There’s too much focus on saying the ‘right thing’ during an approach, and not enough on the vibe, energy, body language and how we deliver what we say. Approaches are failing because we’re disregarding our sub-communications.
But see, if you treat the approach like a bank robbery (be in and out in as little time as possible), then you wouldn't have to worry about saying the right thing.

When I approach a woman, I give her a small compliment followed by a quick question...

"You are cute. Are you single?"

If yes, I ask for the number.

If no, I abandon the mission.

Quick, easy, to the point.

And it WORKS.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,036
Reaction score
3,447
But see, if you treat the approach like a bank robbery (be in and out in as little time as possible), then you wouldn't have to worry about saying the right thing.

When I approach a woman, I give her a small compliment followed by a quick question...

"You are cute. Are you single?"

If yes, I ask for the number.

If no, I abandon the mission.

Quick, easy, to the point.

And it WORKS.
You will only be a number collector with allot of flakes with that method unless you are a chad.
 

espanish

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
413
Reaction score
307
Age
41
You will only be a number collector with allot of flakes with that method unless you are a chad.
I agree. I find it very hard to believe that you get laid asking girls "are you single? what's your number?"
what's most likely to happen under this scenario is you text her
"hi, it's me"
"who?"
"the guy you met at ..."
blocked.
hell even when I have a 5 minute productive conversation where the girl is showing all the right signs (e.g. compliance) she ends up doing this.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
950
Reaction score
749
Age
38
I agree. I find it very hard to believe that you get laid asking girls "are you single? what's your number?"
what's most likely to happen under this scenario is you text her
"hi, it's me"
"who?"
"the guy you met at ..."
blocked.
Lol.

Look, Im telling you what has actually worked in the real world, based on a concept that has been tested and PROVEN in the field.

You, on the the other hand, are giving a hypothetical that is bullsh!t.

Why would I stand there trying to accomplish something in 5 minutes when I can accomplish it in one minute or less?

hell even when I have a 5 minute productive conversation where the girl is showing all the right signs (e.g. compliance) she ends up doing this.
If she flakes on you after a 5 minute productive conversation, then she would have flaked on you after a one minute conversation.

So would you rather waste more time, or less time?

You decide.

I've decided less time.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
950
Reaction score
749
Age
38
You will only be a number collector with allot of flakes with that method unless you are a chad.
Newsflash: Women don't flake on men of whom they are attracted to.

Mission: Work on self-improvement so that more women are attracted to you and won't flake on you.
 

espanish

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
413
Reaction score
307
Age
41
Lol.

Look, Im telling you what has actually worked in the real world, based on a concept that has been tested and PROVEN in the field.

You, on the the other hand, are giving a hypothetical that is bullsh!t.

Why would I stand there trying to accomplish something in 5 minutes when I can accomplish it in one minute or less?



If she flakes on you after a 5 minute productive conversation, then she would have flaked on you after a one minute conversation.

So would you rather waste more time, or less time?

You decide.

I've decided less time.
I am not giving you a hypothetical, I am telling you from experience
the point of a 5 minute conversation is to make it less likely that she will flake on you, to make an impression so she thinks "i cant wait for him to text me"
with your method the girl will think "who the hell is this guy texting me?" she won't remember you

Newsflash: Women don't flake on men of whom they are attracted to.

Mission: Work on self-improvement so that more women are attracted to you and won't flake on you.
yes, women don't flake on men that they are attracted to. but women care a lot about personality. with "hi, are you single?" how can she possibly be attracted to you? she doesn't know anything about you. you might be a loser for all she knows. unless you are like a 6'4" bodybuilder and make an impression without saying anything.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
950
Reaction score
749
Age
38
I am not giving you a hypothetical, I am telling you from experience
Then apparently, you and I do not share the same experiences.

the point of a 5 minute conversation is to make it less likely that she will flake on you, to make an impression so she thinks "i cant wait for him to text me"
When a fine, debonair of a man approaches a woman and asks her for her number, his looks and presence alone should make the impression.

That is, of course, my experience and how I get busy.

And my thing is, if you stand there talking for 5 minutes and you still don't get the number, then that is time wasted.

Kind of reminds me; one day I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding (I was rushing to get to some puzzy, of course).

The state trooper pulled me over and approached my vehicle, and him and I started talking about why I was speeding and that conversation turned into a humorous, cool, lighthearted conversation...for about 5 minutes.

Guess what happened? He still gave me a ticket!!

And I remember thinking, "damn, we coulda cut all of the chatter and he could of just gave me the ticket and I would have been on my way".

True story.

All of the chatter meant NOTHING if he was going to give me a ticket either way.

Same thing with cold approaching, when a woman see you and she is attracted to you, you don't have to win her over by conversing with her...save that for the date/phone conversation.

HOWEVER, if you've been getting results with your method, then do whatever works for you, and I mean that sincerely :up:

Your method, it seems, is best suited for social settings like clubs or parties.

My method, is for the quick hit and runs. Stick and move. Bank robbery.

with your method the girl will think "who the hell is this guy texting me?" she won't remember you
Bro, you make it seem like...

1. There is a long time gap between her giving you the number and when you reached out to her.

2. She has dozens of guys approaching her throughout the day and can't distinguish you from the dozens of other guys.

Now sure, if you are at a club where guys magically get the balls to be social to women after being puzzies the other 6 days of the week, and she probably got 6 guys phone numbers and you are #7 for the night...then yeah, she may not remember exactly who you are.

But if I meet a chick at Walmart at 1pm and get her number, and hit her up at 7pm the same night...unless the bytch has amnesia, there is no way she won't remember me.

Plus, I am kinda hard to forget anyway lol.

yes, women don't flake on men that they are attracted to. but women care a lot about personality.

with "hi, are you single?" how can she possibly be attracted to you? she doesn't know anything about you. you might be a loser for all she knows. unless you are like a 6'4" bodybuilder and make an impression without saying anything.
First off, as I stated in my "tips for cold approaching", you (in general) have an obligation to yourself to increase your sexual market value...which includes going to the gym and become a better version of your physical self.

I'm not saying become a bodybuilder, but you are definitely supposed to build your body...so that when you approach a woman, you don't have to say much of anything...as soon as she looks at you, she will be attracted to you and once you win over her attraction, you don't have to say much of ANYTHING.

Trust me, I does this.
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,118
Reaction score
2,559
Location
California
There's probably too much focus on ALL of that stuff, tbh (including body language and delivery etc)
it's not even really a matter of 'learning from your mistakes'. As long as one is basically a normal dude, there's nothing to 'learn' from a rejection. The answer was very likely that he just wasn't her type. She wasn't attracted to him. Not in his control at all. It's a numbers game. Watch infields and you'll see guys with apparent 'elite level game' with rejection compilations in their products as long as your arm
No. Most likely she’s in a relationship and that’s why she didn’t respond as hoped. Most women (and many men) are in a relationship most of the time. I’m not a woman, but in the last 4 years, I’ve been in a relationship 75% of the time. For a woman. It is no doubt, a greater percentage. It’s hugely luck dependant. I have literaly had a girl I was an acquantance with, come up to me, give me a hug and whisper in my ear ‘I don’t have a boyfriend anymore’. INeedless to say, we hooked up. I had no idea she was interested in me while she was with her man. Right place, right time.
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,439
Reaction score
2,395
Age
36
But see, if you treat the approach like a bank robbery (be in and out in as little time as possible), then you wouldn't have to worry about saying the right thing.

When I approach a woman, I give her a small compliment followed by a quick question...

"You are cute. Are you single?"

If yes, I ask for the number.

If no, I abandon the mission.

Quick, easy, to the point.

And it WORKS.
I don't believe this.. From personal experience, there needs to be some kind of connection/vibe building convo for the woman to be invested enough to not reject right there...
 

espanish

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
413
Reaction score
307
Age
41
But if I meet a chick at Walmart at 1pm and get her number, and hit her up at 7pm the same night...unless the bytch has amnesia, there is no way she won't remember me.
no I am not talking about clubs, I am not talking about drunk girls, I am talking about every day life.
are you approaching women that have no other options (aka fat, or trashy)?
but then these days even the fat trashy disgusting women think very highly of themselves.
what percentage of the women that give you their number end up answering? I am not worried about coming out, just answering.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
950
Reaction score
749
Age
38
I don't believe this..
You aint gotta believe it, because I live it.

From personal experience, there needs to be some kind of connection/vibe building convo for the woman to be invested enough to not reject right there...
And my personal experience has me in and out in less than one minute. Bank robbery.

Your looks, confidence, and swagger should have her interested enough to want to see what you are all about.

If it doesn't...well, that is what separates you from me.
 
Top