"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Factors that get a man bumped down on the looks scale

GoodMan32

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I mentioned on another thread that, as a result of being on the spectrum, my looks rating effectively gets bumped down a few points (In other words, even though I'm a 7, I largely get treated like I'm a 4).

In some cases, my social awkwardness even gets me viewed as a 1.

Another poster recommended I start a thread about the topic. Might as well.

So here's the purpose of the thread: It isn't just a spectrum thread. It's a thread to discuss any factor that gets a man bumped down from his actual looks score.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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corrector

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I mentioned on another thread that, as a result of being on the spectrum, my looks rating effectively gets bumped down a few points (In other words, even though I'm a 7, I largely get treated like I'm a 4).

In some cases, my social awkwardness even gets me viewed as a 1.

Another poster recommended I start a thread about the topic. Might as well.

So here's the purpose of the thread: It isn't just a spectrum thread. It's a thread to discuss any factor that gets a man bumped down from his actual looks score.
I disagree. Based on your feedback of how women are treating you, you are not being treated as a sub-5, but as a normie. You have very healthy interactions with the opposite sex. I actually envy you. You don't have the right to complain here. If you do, then trade places with me and then you'll experience how a sub-5 is treated.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hamurabimbi

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I mentioned on another thread that, as a result of being on the spectrum, my looks rating effectively gets bumped down a few points (In other words, even though I'm a 7, I largely get treated like I'm a 4).

In some cases, my social awkwardness even gets me viewed as a 1.

Another poster recommended I start a thread about the topic. Might as well.

So here's the purpose of the thread: It isn't just a spectrum thread. It's a thread to discuss any factor that gets a man bumped down from his actual looks score.

 

jhonny9546

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From my own experience,
height and body harmony
face: smile (white straight teeth) - eyes - hair

but also, frame.
The more I grow, the more I do understand there are people which holds more power.
Those people are persusor, and can be attractive.
 
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zekko

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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Hal9000

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Already been mentioned but it's amazing how few men know how to dress. Obviously being in shape helps you look better in anything, but take a look at what fashionable men are wearing and try to incorporate some of that into your wardrobe. And I don't mean a 10k watch either.
 

BaronOfHair

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zekko

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I don't think a lot of men know what is or is not attractive to women.
I agree. Sometimes it's obvious, some characteristics are obviously attractive, sometimes it's not. I think most of us have looked at a guy and been mystified about what is bringing women to his table (It's like "Really? THAT guy?"). We're not women, we can't see everything in the same lens they do.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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inquisitor

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Balding. -2 points easily.
This may be different from the intentional hairstyle change.

There have been times when I had my hair trimmed semi-bald (to reduce heat and scalp itching), and girls around me, as far as I can remember, seem to like it more than when my hair's longer, or at least enjoy it and pay me much more attention. I guess because it's new and different, and no one usually does it, but feel free to discuss.
 
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The thread caption is perhaps little silly as people have pointed out?
But yeah, looks alone are not enough. You really need game too.

And if you are on spectrum and are awkward socially, then just start putting effort into learning social skills.
Fixing your weakness will be immensely valuable for your whole life. Basic social skills are quite transferrable between pick up and other social settings like work/business too.

Positive side to using pick up to learn those is it's fast and efficient way to get the needed reps in. Perhaps, not the most easiest for your ego though..
 

GoodMan32

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I've heard the typical woman rates 80% of men below average.

As for my 7 rating, I didn't rate myself a 7. An AI looks rater did. I trust AI looks raters more than websites with live raters (because individual bias, as well as straight men rating other men, impacts your score on the typical looks rating website)
 

GoodMan32

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If I understand correctly, that's not looks.

Again, not looks.


You have different issues you're trying to deal with here, and frankly, very fixable.
I know social awkwardness and being on the spectrum aren't looks.

My point is they cause a woman to subconsciously rank me lower than my actual looks score.

I say this because I've had to date/bang some fatties before (solely because I had few to no other options).

Also, when I was in high school, there was a feature on Facebook where your Facebook friends could rate your looks. A female classmate rated me a 1. I guarantee she never even gave much thought to my actual looks. Her 1 rating was more a rating of my social standing at school (which reinforces my point: being on the spectrum/socially awkward can cause a broad to view you as unattractive no matter what your actual looks are)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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