"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Facebook and Ex

Rufio

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For those of you that know what facebook is... recently my ex requested to be my friend. I've done my best to move on, i.e. dating other girls and talking to other people. Meanwhile she's adding my buddies on facebook and pulling sh!t like this. I feel like accepting the "online friendship" via facebook will go against how hard I've worked to cut her off completely. On the other hand, does it come off as though I'm still bitter if I reject the friend request? I kind of feel like I shouldn't give a fvck and just add her, but I really just want to cut her the fvck off.

Which route do you think is the best?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Docs

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Uhh...I hate facebook, and Hi5, and all of that crap, so frankly, I wouldn't care.

Really...if you really really reallllly like her, then add her, but if not..then well, comeon here.
 

BDude004

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Yo! Here's what you should do. Add her, and from then on out just ignore her. This way, you won't seem bitter. If you just keep doing what you were doing to drop contact with her, like stop calling (don't look at her profile) it won't be hard. She probably just wants to keep tabs on what you're up to, who you're seeing, all that blah...

If she ever messages you anything, ignore it, and if you ever run into her in person and she calls you on it, say you have better things to do than cyber-jock an ex.
 

Tongs

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Just deny the friend request.

They don't see if you deny it or have just been ignoring it[/size]
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I'd usually say deny the request but in this case I say go along and add her. However, you are under no obligation to treat her as anything more than an acquaintance. Show her that you're big enough not to show any grudges however, your 'relationship' is definitely on different terms; yours.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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DJDamage

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I'd usually say deny the request but in this case I say go along and add her. However, you are under no obligation to treat her as anything more than an acquaintance. Show her that you're big enough not to show any grudges however, your 'relationship' is definitely on different terms; yours.
It didn't work for me.

I added an old oneitis request thinking I was over her. What I didn't anticipate was that every time I logged on Facebook, there is a new News Feed on the main page detailing her new single status and lots of pictures showing her with other dudes standing there and smiling. Now I got dumped by this oneitis and seeing those pictures is like opening a shut coffin and letting all the ghosts out. I had to delete her today because it was starting to get to me. What is in the past should stay in the past.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DJDamage said:
It didn't work for me.

I added an old oneitis request thinking I was over her. What I didn't anticipate was that every time I logged on Facebook, there is a new News Feed on the main page detailing her new single status and lots of pictures showing her with other dudes standing there and smiling. Now I got dumped by this oneitis and seeing those pictures is like opening a shut coffin and letting all the ghosts out. I had to delete her today because it was starting to get to me. What is in the past should stay in the past.
My ex from a couple of years ago still has me on her Chistmas list, I could care less. It's just junk mail to me. But then again it can't compete with a site that's sole purpose is social promotion. It would be difficult if you haven't completely severed the emotional ties.
 

Cesare Cardinali

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I use facebook in a manner similar to how politicians do. I'm there, I"m promoting myself and my life style and I'm appearing hard to get and a challenge. On that note, if exes add me (which they have) then I'll either accept if I don't care about them anymore or just ignore the request indefinately. Hell, I've got tons of things that I've been ignoring on facebook, pokes, invitations to groups, friend requests, invitations to add all kinds of add ons, etc. Whoever said that you need to reply when someone sends you messages? You're in charge of that, and not the other way around.

On the other hand, if you don't want to play this game, then respond to her and say "hey babe, thanks for the friend request. I don't think I should add you though because although me and you are cool these days and are simply friends, I don't think the women I am seeing would appreciate seeing us publically being friends on the site. But shoot me an email from time to time to let me know how you're doing"
 

DJDamage

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Cesare Cardinali said:
On the other hand, if you don't want to play this game, then respond to her and say "hey babe, thanks for the friend request. I don't think I should add you though because although me and you are cool these days and are simply friends, I don't think the women I am seeing would appreciate seeing us publically being friends on the site. But shoot me an email from time to time to let me know how you're doing"

That would be a good response... in person that is.

Personally I learned that its best not to send personal text or email's because I don't know who else can view them and if they can potentially be used against me in the future.
 
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