"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Facebook and Ex

Rufio

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For those of you that know what facebook is... recently my ex requested to be my friend. I've done my best to move on, i.e. dating other girls and talking to other people. Meanwhile she's adding my buddies on facebook and pulling sh!t like this. I feel like accepting the "online friendship" via facebook will go against how hard I've worked to cut her off completely. On the other hand, does it come off as though I'm still bitter if I reject the friend request? I kind of feel like I shouldn't give a fvck and just add her, but I really just want to cut her the fvck off.

Which route do you think is the best?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Docs

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Uhh...I hate facebook, and Hi5, and all of that crap, so frankly, I wouldn't care.

Really...if you really really reallllly like her, then add her, but if not..then well, comeon here.
 

BDude004

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Yo! Here's what you should do. Add her, and from then on out just ignore her. This way, you won't seem bitter. If you just keep doing what you were doing to drop contact with her, like stop calling (don't look at her profile) it won't be hard. She probably just wants to keep tabs on what you're up to, who you're seeing, all that blah...

If she ever messages you anything, ignore it, and if you ever run into her in person and she calls you on it, say you have better things to do than cyber-jock an ex.
 

Tongs

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Just deny the friend request.

They don't see if you deny it or have just been ignoring it[/size]
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I'd usually say deny the request but in this case I say go along and add her. However, you are under no obligation to treat her as anything more than an acquaintance. Show her that you're big enough not to show any grudges however, your 'relationship' is definitely on different terms; yours.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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DJDamage

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I'd usually say deny the request but in this case I say go along and add her. However, you are under no obligation to treat her as anything more than an acquaintance. Show her that you're big enough not to show any grudges however, your 'relationship' is definitely on different terms; yours.
It didn't work for me.

I added an old oneitis request thinking I was over her. What I didn't anticipate was that every time I logged on Facebook, there is a new News Feed on the main page detailing her new single status and lots of pictures showing her with other dudes standing there and smiling. Now I got dumped by this oneitis and seeing those pictures is like opening a shut coffin and letting all the ghosts out. I had to delete her today because it was starting to get to me. What is in the past should stay in the past.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DJDamage said:
It didn't work for me.

I added an old oneitis request thinking I was over her. What I didn't anticipate was that every time I logged on Facebook, there is a new News Feed on the main page detailing her new single status and lots of pictures showing her with other dudes standing there and smiling. Now I got dumped by this oneitis and seeing those pictures is like opening a shut coffin and letting all the ghosts out. I had to delete her today because it was starting to get to me. What is in the past should stay in the past.
My ex from a couple of years ago still has me on her Chistmas list, I could care less. It's just junk mail to me. But then again it can't compete with a site that's sole purpose is social promotion. It would be difficult if you haven't completely severed the emotional ties.
 

Cesare Cardinali

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I use facebook in a manner similar to how politicians do. I'm there, I"m promoting myself and my life style and I'm appearing hard to get and a challenge. On that note, if exes add me (which they have) then I'll either accept if I don't care about them anymore or just ignore the request indefinately. Hell, I've got tons of things that I've been ignoring on facebook, pokes, invitations to groups, friend requests, invitations to add all kinds of add ons, etc. Whoever said that you need to reply when someone sends you messages? You're in charge of that, and not the other way around.

On the other hand, if you don't want to play this game, then respond to her and say "hey babe, thanks for the friend request. I don't think I should add you though because although me and you are cool these days and are simply friends, I don't think the women I am seeing would appreciate seeing us publically being friends on the site. But shoot me an email from time to time to let me know how you're doing"
 

DJDamage

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Cesare Cardinali said:
On the other hand, if you don't want to play this game, then respond to her and say "hey babe, thanks for the friend request. I don't think I should add you though because although me and you are cool these days and are simply friends, I don't think the women I am seeing would appreciate seeing us publically being friends on the site. But shoot me an email from time to time to let me know how you're doing"

That would be a good response... in person that is.

Personally I learned that its best not to send personal text or email's because I don't know who else can view them and if they can potentially be used against me in the future.
 
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