EXAMPLES OF ****Y + FUNNY

[I-tallionStallion]

hhhaha...y'know whats funny----

---I'm glad you guys don't like C+F

More girls for me! hahahhaa

 

[thricerx7]

as it's been said numerous times throughout this thread...

it truly is GOLD.


for those who dont believe in it... look at the success rating.

there's your proof right there.
i definitely did end up writing down a few of my favorites to use out in the field.
and personally, i can't wait.

the girls sadly do fall for this stuff because it shows
a. confidence
b. a joking, light hearted side to you
c. if the girl is a 9 or 10 and they're used to getting hit on and complemented, it takes them out of their "comfort" zone
d. creativity
e. and last of all, indifference from all the other guys out there...

am i wrong?

HERE'S ONE I USED THIS MORNING:

me: today is your lucky morning.
her: oh? why's that?
me: not only are you in a good mood already, but you also get to talk to me. i know you're thrilled.
her: completely [in a joking manner]
me: that's probably because the reason you were in a good mood to start is because you subconsciously knew i would talk to you. smart thinking!
her: haha why yes arent you just the mind reader gypsy man! hahahahhahah meow! [she actually did the cat growl at me] i'm cat. [that's really her name] what's up??

needless to say, i got the number and definitely dig the coffee shops.

 

[thricerx7]

haha oh and one more.

first i used the

"you should really be hiding your impulses" line.
worked perfectly.

i asked her what she did this weekend, and what she was doing tonight
she replies with:
"last night i drank margaritas and tonight... well if i told ya i'd have to kill ya"
me:"well i guess you'll have to kill me cuz im dying to know so i can stalk you, i hardly doubt you'd mind"
her: "I'm used to it with my kind of status. so welcome to the club. or maybe i'll stalk you?"

haha definite indicators of interest. shes ****y and sarcastic too, but i have control of this situation regardless.
this girl is a cute blonde. a 7 or 8/10.

but my wittiness has thrown her for a loop.
=]

ill post more if anything goes down.

 

[Chez]

Just read through this thread & loved the ****y & funny examples..

I will defenitely be putting some to use....

 

[Canadian Catnip]

I used to go into a coffee shop about a year ago and there was this girl that worked there that I always teased.

I went in there one day and saw her putting cookies on a plate with her hands.

Me. Hey! did you wash your hands?
Her. Yes my hands are clean.
Me. I want a coffee and a piece of cake there, Did you touch the cake?
Her. I've touched all the food here. She smiles.

She takes cake out and puts it on a plate for me.

Her. Would you like me to heat it up for you?
Me. Yes, nuke it for me, maybe it'll kill your cooties you put on it. I smile.

Believe me, it went over very well.

 

[War Against Betaism]

I just used this last night. I was on the phone with a girl, and then I said I had to go, even though I really didn't, and before she hang up, I was like "Oh wait btw, I like Chinese."

She sounded confused asking, "uhhhh okay? Why you say this?" Then I'm like "To save you the trouble, I KNOW you're going to take me out tomorrow night, stop trying to hide it, you're all over me. If I tell you what I like right now, you can make the reservations tonight."

 

[HandyAndy]

I used to go into a coffee shop about a year ago and there was this girl that worked there that I always teased.

I went in there one day and saw her putting cookies on a plate with her hands.

Me. Hey! did you wash your hands?
Her. Yes my hands are clean.
Me. I want a coffee and a piece of cake there, Did you touch the cake?
Her. I've touched all the food here. She smiles.

She takes cake out and puts it on a plate for me.

Her. Would you like me to heat it up for you?
Me. Yes, nuke it for me, maybe it'll kill your cooties you put on it. I smile.

Believe me, it went over very well.

haha nuke it for me

 

[War Against Betaism]

Just tonight some girl texted me because she was bored and couldn't sleep. I honestly didn't want to talk to her, and came up with this on the spot:

"If you're looking for someone to set off sexual throbbing passions in your heart, I'm not in the mood right now." I couldn't think of another term to replace sexual throbbing passions. If anyone follows David D's material he used it to describe a woman's feelings towards a bad boy.

 

[panosha]

and what did she say?

 

[War Against Betaism]

"haha nigguh ur funny, why ain't u in the mood rite now tho?"
"I'm a busy man,"
"Oh well gosh!"

 

[War Against Betaism]

This thread needs to stay alive!

I got this one from Style. If a girl is holding onto your arm, sitting on your lap or any situation where a girl appears to be clinging onto you, say to her "You owe me $50." If she asks why, tell her "Because I'm making your look good."

 

[SickAgain]

I needed my parking ticket validated at TGIF...

Me: Hey, could you validate my ticket?
Her: Hmmm, let me think...(quickly stamps it)
Me: You must not think very much.

Then she bursts out in laughter.

 

[Firsty]

Probably not ****y funny but i laughed and this thread needs a bump.
Girl: Hey firsty so how big are u?
me: Why dont u find out,
Girl: (asking my friend laying next to her) so how big are u?
me: (interrupting) hey wait, (now asking the girl) why how big are u?

 

[stand]

This is my first post on this site - I was doing a little searching and ran into this thread.

I have a question - I have always been ****y/funny. It's always been natural to me. I think it is because I played sports all my life and was really competitive & have a good personality. Anyone else like this?

Anyways - I had an interesting interaction with a very good looking older chick today at work & I thought I would share it since I came across this thread. (This is a really good thread - it needed a bump.)

I work at a very popular clothing store in the mall and this very good looking older chick came in (I'd say 25+ years old) - Let's call her HB9.

I was working the cash register and she came up with no one else in line it was pretty dead at this moment. She also undoubtedly had a boob job.

ME: How's it going?
HB9: blah blah blah.. you?
ME: Good.
ME: Is that all for you today?
HB9: *silence while staring at my eyes*
ME: *smile & grin* Are you hitting on me?
HB9: What!! No! I'm sorry! I was just looking at your eyes - you have amazing eyes! wow!
ME: Don't be embarrassed. You're not the first very good looking woman to hit on me today.
HB9: *Laughing* OMG! How old are you! And are those your real eyes? Not colored contacts or anything?
ME: I'm 18 - legal in all 50. Of course they're real. I'm not fake. (While staring at her fake boobs, LOL!)
HB9: *Laughing*
ME: So, are you going to pay for this - or are you going to continue hitting on me? Are you trying to get me in trouble with my boss over there?
HB9: *Laughing* Here you go.. (Hands me credit card)
HB9: For the record I was not hitting on you!
ME: Whatever you say.. *smiling*

*As she's about to walk out and leave*

ME: Did you want to take a picture of me and my eyes before you left?
HB9: *laughing* Maybe next time..

I had no real interest in this girl, because of the age difference, but I enjoyed messing with her during a boring day of work. She will definitely be back. I was going to ask her if she had a sister just to throw in another ****y comment, but she started talking about something.

Thoughts?

 

[HandyAndy]

^ very good, i like it lol

 

[Stud No1]

This is my first post on this site - I was doing a little searching and ran into this thread.

I have a question - I have always been ****y/funny. It's always been natural to me. I think it is because I played sports all my life and was really competitive & have a good personality. Anyone else like this?

Anyways - I had an interesting interaction with a very good looking older chick today at work & I thought I would share it since I came across this thread. (This is a really good thread - it needed a bump.)

I work at a very popular clothing store in the mall and this very good looking older chick came in (I'd say 25+ years old) - Let's call her HB9.

I was working the cash register and she came up with no one else in line it was pretty dead at this moment. She also undoubtedly had a boob job.

ME: How's it going?
HB9: blah blah blah.. you?
ME: Good.
ME: Is that all for you today?
HB9: *silence while staring at my eyes*
ME: *smile & grin* Are you hitting on me?
HB9: What!! No! I'm sorry! I was just looking at your eyes - you have amazing eyes! wow!
ME: Don't be embarrassed. You're not the first very good looking woman to hit on me today.
HB9: *Laughing* OMG! How old are you! And are those your real eyes? Not colored contacts or anything?
ME: I'm 18 - legal in all 50. Of course they're real. I'm not fake. (While staring at her fake boobs, LOL!)
HB9: *Laughing*
ME: So, are you going to pay for this - or are you going to continue hitting on me? Are you trying to get me in trouble with my boss over there?
HB9: *Laughing* Here you go.. (Hands me credit card)
HB9: For the record I was not hitting on you!
ME: Whatever you say.. *smiling*

*As she's about to walk out and leave*

ME: Did you want to take a picture of me and my eyes before you left?
HB9: *laughing* Maybe next time..

I had no real interest in this girl, because of the age difference, but I enjoyed messing with her during a boring day of work. She will definitely be back. I was going to ask her if she had a sister just to throw in another ****y comment, but she started talking about something.


Thoughts?

haha, who knows

thing is, it could have been completely innocent. why couldnt she like you eyes without having to **** you? its only a big deal if she has corresponding bodylanguage etc.

by the story id say she genuinely just liked your eyes but who knows i wasnt there

 

[stand]

haha, who knows

thing is, it could have been completely innocent. why couldnt she like you eyes without having to **** you? its only a big deal if she has corresponding bodylanguage etc.

by the story id say she genuinely just liked your eyes but who knows i wasnt there

That wasn't really the point of my post. I was just showing off some examples of ****y/Funny.

To be honest - I'm not sure if I could have ****ed this woman or not. I wasn't really interested, because like I said the age difference. Judging from her body language she was attracted to me, but my age was probably a turn off for her.

The oldest girl I have been with was 22 when I was 16. So, my reads on these older woman probably aren't as good as some other people. I don't really care though I have about 20 prospects on the horizon that I need to game on.

 

[Mulith]

Here is one I sough used to great effect.

Sough a friend use this one to great effect:

She buys you a drink or does anything for you
Her: (Blah, blah, I did such and such for you)
You: Thanx, You really know how to make a girl feel special.(License to do a bit of kino too)

Seemed to keep her attention well and it gives you a platform for some role play ****y funny.

 

[Groovy]

try sayin these.

1.im bored too. hey u know what you should do? Entertain me.

2. say this sometimes also. OMG GUESS WHAT.. then they reply liek what. and then you say nevermind and never tell um.

I read this one somewhere...

I'm bored-
Go write me a poem or something

You could try busting her balls for having such a boring life, etc. But be careful! hehe. This should be fun for both sides.

 

[Moaar!]

Well, i forgot where i got this from but its pretty funny one.
Your at a club and your chatting with some HB.

Me: Hey you wanna drink something?
Her: Sure (Smiles)
Me:*Leads the HB to the bar* Hey can you get me a Jack Daniels and for the lady a glass of water
Her:*Looks Confused*
Me: What? Water has magnesium ffs its good for you
Her: *Laughs hysterically*

Works pretty well, you might even get her to pay for the Jack Daniels