Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

EXAMPLES OF ****Y + FUNNY

Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
172
Reaction score
3
These are good, but someof them take a lot more skill than I presently have. The more innuendo/direct ones need really good delivery for you not to sound like a creep.
 

Groovy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2008
Messages
756
Reaction score
22
Delivery is everything! Easily makes around 70% of the joke!
 

Kwothe

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2008
Messages
24
Reaction score
1
hey i used the c/f bit too much, it borders to insulting(at that point of time, i thought it was funny, she thought not), so how do you know where to thread?
 

War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 19, 2007
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
28
Location
California
My friend always tells me some of the best C&F lines, the other night he told me this one golden line he used, but I think it moreso fits under the flirting category but gold nonetheless...

So him and this girl were cuddling on her bed and she mentions "We have to do this again in your bed," he responds "I dunno, I don't think I would want to do it at my house," she asks "Why not?", he responds "I'm afraid you're not gonna behave yourself," she says "Oh, I'll behave...just for a minute."
 

randomshinichi

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2008
Messages
64
Reaction score
1
To a black girl (important, loses funny part if you say this to anybody else)
me: you know, talking to black people is seriously hard.
her: why?
me: it's hard to tell when they're facing you.
 

ARrocket

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2008
Messages
1,417
Reaction score
37
Location
East Coast USA
randomshinichi said:
To a black girl (important, loses funny part if you say this to anybody else)
me: you know, talking to black people is seriously hard.
her: why?
me: it's hard to tell when they're facing you.
dude....wtf?
 

oneshot

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2006
Messages
79
Reaction score
0
Age
33
Location
Taiwan
While touching my girlfriend's ***** ten minutes after having sex:
GF: Hey! Don't do that!
Me: Don't do what?
GF: Stop it!
Me: (continuing to touch it) Stop what?
GF: (giggles) STOP IT!
Me: Jesus, I'm just trying to relieve that itch.
GF: (Laughs and slaps me really hard)
Me: (tickles her ***** more than ever) Goddamn it! Is that the way you treat your boyfriend while he's trying to help you out??
(We **** again).
---
(At the subway station)
Me: (I moved my hand down to her ass and start doing things with it)
GF: Hey! Not now! (slaps me)
Me: That's not nice
GF: (Glares at my hand, which is rested on her ass.) And *that's* nice?
Me: (Looks down at her ass and wiggles tongue) Oh yeah...mmm...that looks REALLY nice
---
(while lying in bed)
Me: You look real tired.
GF: You know why I look tired? I just came...first time in my life!
(After some talking)
Me: Okay, I gotta go.
GF: Noooooo! (Grabs me)
Me: No, I gotta go. Gotta practice Beethoven.
GF: Ah, **** Beethoven!
Me: (move in to her ears and whisper...) I'd rather **** you.
---
 

randomshinichi

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2008
Messages
64
Reaction score
1
You forgot to mention that y'all are just really stuck up when it comes to these kinds of jokes. More than likely you're all white Americans busy trying to shed yourselves of apartheid's spectre.

It's really telling when you start thinking it's your responsibility to take offence for blacks (which is what most people do, hence the 'loses funny part if you say this to a non-black'), when in fact, most of them wouldn't take offence... provided you have established rapport beforehand.

EDIT: If we're going to take this any further, PM ok?
 
Last edited:

randomshinichi

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2008
Messages
64
Reaction score
1
A more recent example:
A woman just walks into the room I had a lecture in and starts filling the blackboard with a graph of what appears to be electron orbital energy levels or something.

"Are you trying to impress me?"
 

Paintballguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2004
Messages
966
Reaction score
16
Location
Maryland
I was at a bar recently with some friends. There was this HB at the bar. She kept saying, "OMG this is my song!" to like every other song, so I said, "How many songs are your 'song'?". She responded like she was mad at me, but I knew she was responsive to it because she came up to me later to dance.
 

suaveplayer

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2008
Messages
178
Reaction score
1
dude i have a good one, its from clive owens in "closer"

the girl: you're awesome (or some complement)
the guy: don't you forget it

:)
 

soadflav

New Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Heres one i hered from my friend

Guy: *says something*

Girl: Dont give me no sarcasm!!

Guy: I wont give you sarcasm, ill give you an orgasm.
 

Allurre

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
661
Reaction score
18
What up guys,

Here's one which I've written about in my "DATING SUCCESS EXPRESS" Book.. releasing sometime before summer.

(Girl touches my hand)
You: You owe me $20.
Girl: Uh.. why?
You: We just started seeing each other, touching me costs $20. It’s only free when you’re my official girlfriend.
 

War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 19, 2007
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
28
Location
California
I did this the other week, I was at the mall with this girl and she put her arm around mine. Then I said to her "Don't do that, you're ruining my game!" She kind of had a shocked look and asked my immediately "What?" Then I said to her "You see those two girls over there? The red and white, I'm trying to look good for them." She looked over and they were two old fat ladies sitting on the other side of the room. She was laughing and we both sort of played on to it like she said "Oh man I'm so jealous! Look how pretty they are!"
 

Credos

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2005
Messages
658
Reaction score
19
me: hey how are you?
girl: hey, im good, how are you?
Me: I'm an 8, maybe an 8.5
girl: huh?
Me: you look like a 6
girl: I'm not a 6!
Me: ... Thats what I would say if I was just a 6!
girl: thats not nice
Me: Ok, I'll give you a chance to prove yourself, but if you lose you buy me an icecream!
girl: what if i win?
Me: i'll buy you icecream
girl: so what do I have to do

Was buying time, quick thinking, just KEEP some major EC, you might be able to pull off a kiss already, depends on how hard she's giving you EC back and on the location! If you at a club you could replace the icecream you could replace that with a shot, but i would stick with icecream, everybody likes it, and it means you got a chance to see her again or to change location, both great... You can also say you never eaten that flavour she picked, and you can make easy conversation about icecreamflavours, and how silly she is to love that flavour. All teasing stuff, never harras :crazy:, if you see she's getting pissed cool it down a noth

Me: 6's are alwayse bad kissers... I bet you are...
Girl: is that you're trick to seduce a girl?!
Me: laugh, only a player would think that! A 6 and a player
Girl: I am not a player!
Me: Sure you aren't, anyhow, if you wanna prove you're not a 6 then you'll have to show me a hot dance!

just make her do something seductive towards you, remember, you're doing alot of ****yness and some girls will think your overdoing it, keep the EC going and go with the flow, if you sense she's not liking it anymore turn it down a bit! (btw, 2 days later this girl slept with me, we're still good friends, I'm still teasing her, she still loves it :D, she's an 8 )
 

faiNt`

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2008
Messages
243
Reaction score
1
oldschooler said:
After I catch a girl looking at me.

B: Do I have something on my face or are you just the staring kind? *Casual smiley face*.
G: No, no I wasn't staring at you. *Smiles interested*.
B: Happens all the time, don't feel bad.
G: So you tend to have that effect, huh?
B: Well, apparently on you.
G: *Laughs*, (I think she said unbelievable under her breath).
B: I know right, your lucky, I normally don't give future stalkers the time of day.
G: *Looks offended* (Thinks I had gone too far but maintains eye-contact smiling.)
G: What's your number?
B: 0, I like the number 0 and I'm willing to bet you do too.
G: I so hate you right now *smiling*.
B: You can't hate me we're family.
G: *Punches my arm*, sorry bro.
B: Hey incest isn't my thing but as long as you don't scream 'harder brother!', I'll deal with it.
G: Your sick, what's your name.
B: Speaking of screaming, sounds like you need a new name to scream out.
G: *Sarcastic tone* Your right, take me to the toilets and **** me like a slut.
B: I'm more of a long walks on the beach type guy.
G: *Looks at me intently* gonna give me your number.
B: No but you will give me yours.
G: Mutters unbelieveable.
*Gets number and walks off without saying goodbye*.

That night she calls proclaiming she got my number 'off a friend'.
B: Is that friend, friends with the phone book or?
G: *murmours*.
B: Your cute, meet me at X tomorrow at X. *hangs up*.

I went there an hour early because I had to do things there anyway and guess who had 'the same idea'.

She was easy, I don't know if that's C + F but it definetely would have been one of my most successful occasions, EVER :D.
Absolute gold right there :cool:
 
Top