"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ex reaches out dor second time in 9 months

dude99

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By what she said, you should have straight up responded...

"You are not my girlfriend anymore. It's not my problem to handle"
Please do not do this. This will also validate her because you are reacting. She will see it as butt hurt and be validated.

Ignore. Delete. Next.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Concur with others. Silence is most powerful. Say nothing. Do nothing. No response is a powerful response.
 

In2theGame

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Please do not do this. This will also validate her because you are reacting. She will see it as butt hurt and be validated.

Ignore. Delete. Next.
Although I do agree with the ignore thing... over time I've started to believe that a Man should sometimes put a chick in her place and stop the nonsense childish games. Women do and say a lot of things just to stir the pot, so if she tries this with a Man who has a strong backbone and is unfazed by her shenanigans, He will set her straight.

"Hey listen, You are not my girlfriend anymore so do not contact me nor should you send me anything related to that. Take care"

Watch how this gets her all riled up only to message him down the line and apologize for acting like a child. I have done this before with Women who were acting in a similar fashion and later on they would contact me to apologize for "acting up".

Again, I'm not disagreeing with you but there are alternative ways of handling a Woman who is trying to get under your skin. Unfortunately, they sometimes act like children and you have to set them straight as a Man. This has the side effect of growing their attraction towards you but it doesn't matter in this case.
 

soulforge

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Although I do agree with the ignore thing... over time I've started to believe that a Man should sometimes put a chick in her place and stop the nonsense childish games. Women do and say a lot of things just to stir the pot, so if she tries this with a Man who has a strong backbone and is unfazed by her shenanigans, He will set her straight.

"Hey listen, You are not my girlfriend anymore so do not contact me nor should you send me anything related to that. Take care"

Watch how this gets her all riled up only to message him down the line and apologize for acting like a child. I have done this before with Women who were acting in a similar fashion and later on they would contact me to apologize for "acting up".

Again, I'm not disagreeing with you but there are alternative ways of handling a Woman who is trying to get under your skin. Unfortunately, they sometimes act like children and you have to set them straight as a Man. This has the side effect of growing their attraction towards you but it doesn't matter in this case.
Wrong.. You cannot use logic and reason to put her in her place.

Anything and everything you say, will be twisted around by her I AM THE VICTIM mindset.. You will achieve nothing.

Ignoring her is the only answer!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

BeExcellent

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It’s about attention. I see women (who players and playboys have flippantly, even rudely discarded) chasing after them.

It’s the damdest thing to my sensibilities that they will go blowing up the guy’s phone...it’s pitiful really. These women have no self respect, the men do not respect them, and yet the women keep chasing.

These women become part of that player’s ecosystem...his personal fan club. They become the booty calls, the ones who get the same text (to see who responds first at 1:30am), and they ‘get’ to sex him up or pick his drunk ass up from time to time. I’ve seen my buddies show off whilst doing this. It’s hilarious, and sad. These guys don’t give a crap about these women...but the women clearly have less than zero self respect....but it gives some external ego validation to these men, and they are reluctant to give up the eco system or fan club.

Unless the OP can easily get this exgf into his eco system (assuming he is emotionally disengaged enough to and assuming he would like to) he should not respond.

Why?

Any attention is validation to this woman. I used to watch women text my exBF to insult me, insult us, insult him, say inflammatory things...and sometimes he’d respond. Of course that churns up the old interaction, it creates drama (which frankly many men LOVE), and it creates at some level emotional response & re-engagement, which is why the woman reached out in the first place. Duh.

Silence is the only way to leave someone twisting, wondering. Silence is the best way IMHO for OP.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Fully agree with paragraph #2, but not paragraph #1. I give them 48 hours max and they better have plausible deniability that they were not out fvcking on the "break".
You pay them in advance,
You treat them with civility,
You have them turn around so they can have deniability.
 

TheKid

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It’s about attention. I see women (who players and playboys have flippantly, even rudely discarded) chasing after them.

It’s the damdest thing to my sensibilities that they will go blowing up the guy’s phone...it’s pitiful really. These women have no self respect, the men do not respect them, and yet the women keep chasing.

These women become part of that player’s ecosystem...his personal fan club. They become the booty calls, the ones who get the same text (to see who responds first at 1:30am), and they ‘get’ to sex him up or pick his drunk ass up from time to time. I’ve seen my buddies show off whilst doing this. It’s hilarious, and sad. These guys don’t give a crap about these women...but the women clearly have less than zero self respect....but it gives some external ego validation to these men, and they are reluctant to give up the eco system or fan club.

Unless the OP can easily get this exgf into his eco system (assuming he is emotionally disengaged enough to and assuming he would like to) he should not respond.

Why?

Any attention is validation to this woman. I used to watch women text my exBF to insult me, insult us, insult him, say inflammatory things...and sometimes he’d respond. Of course that churns up the old interaction, it creates drama (which frankly many men LOVE), and it creates at some level emotional response & re-engagement, which is why the woman reached out in the first place. Duh.

Silence is the only way to leave someone twisting, wondering. Silence is the best way IMHO for OP.
Whats her next play if i stay silent which i have been.
 

flowtheory

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give them 48 hours max and they better have plausible deniability that they were not out fvcking on the "break".
48 hours is nothing. That’s still insanely high heat emotional zone.
People need time to come down from the emotion and see the void of true loss. After initial breakups people think they can do way better or deserve way more, or maybe what they had wasn’t that special.
 

BeExcellent

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Whats her next play if i stay silent which i have been.
She may do nothing. You may hear from her again you may not. What do you want with her? If nothing you’re all good. It’s the weekend carry on.

So it’s more about you...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

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