"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Ex reaches out dor second time in 9 months

dude99

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By what she said, you should have straight up responded...

"You are not my girlfriend anymore. It's not my problem to handle"
Please do not do this. This will also validate her because you are reacting. She will see it as butt hurt and be validated.

Ignore. Delete. Next.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Concur with others. Silence is most powerful. Say nothing. Do nothing. No response is a powerful response.
 

In2theGame

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Please do not do this. This will also validate her because you are reacting. She will see it as butt hurt and be validated.

Ignore. Delete. Next.
Although I do agree with the ignore thing... over time I've started to believe that a Man should sometimes put a chick in her place and stop the nonsense childish games. Women do and say a lot of things just to stir the pot, so if she tries this with a Man who has a strong backbone and is unfazed by her shenanigans, He will set her straight.

"Hey listen, You are not my girlfriend anymore so do not contact me nor should you send me anything related to that. Take care"

Watch how this gets her all riled up only to message him down the line and apologize for acting like a child. I have done this before with Women who were acting in a similar fashion and later on they would contact me to apologize for "acting up".

Again, I'm not disagreeing with you but there are alternative ways of handling a Woman who is trying to get under your skin. Unfortunately, they sometimes act like children and you have to set them straight as a Man. This has the side effect of growing their attraction towards you but it doesn't matter in this case.
 

soulforge

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Although I do agree with the ignore thing... over time I've started to believe that a Man should sometimes put a chick in her place and stop the nonsense childish games. Women do and say a lot of things just to stir the pot, so if she tries this with a Man who has a strong backbone and is unfazed by her shenanigans, He will set her straight.

"Hey listen, You are not my girlfriend anymore so do not contact me nor should you send me anything related to that. Take care"

Watch how this gets her all riled up only to message him down the line and apologize for acting like a child. I have done this before with Women who were acting in a similar fashion and later on they would contact me to apologize for "acting up".

Again, I'm not disagreeing with you but there are alternative ways of handling a Woman who is trying to get under your skin. Unfortunately, they sometimes act like children and you have to set them straight as a Man. This has the side effect of growing their attraction towards you but it doesn't matter in this case.
Wrong.. You cannot use logic and reason to put her in her place.

Anything and everything you say, will be twisted around by her I AM THE VICTIM mindset.. You will achieve nothing.

Ignoring her is the only answer!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

BeExcellent

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It’s about attention. I see women (who players and playboys have flippantly, even rudely discarded) chasing after them.

It’s the damdest thing to my sensibilities that they will go blowing up the guy’s phone...it’s pitiful really. These women have no self respect, the men do not respect them, and yet the women keep chasing.

These women become part of that player’s ecosystem...his personal fan club. They become the booty calls, the ones who get the same text (to see who responds first at 1:30am), and they ‘get’ to sex him up or pick his drunk ass up from time to time. I’ve seen my buddies show off whilst doing this. It’s hilarious, and sad. These guys don’t give a crap about these women...but the women clearly have less than zero self respect....but it gives some external ego validation to these men, and they are reluctant to give up the eco system or fan club.

Unless the OP can easily get this exgf into his eco system (assuming he is emotionally disengaged enough to and assuming he would like to) he should not respond.

Why?

Any attention is validation to this woman. I used to watch women text my exBF to insult me, insult us, insult him, say inflammatory things...and sometimes he’d respond. Of course that churns up the old interaction, it creates drama (which frankly many men LOVE), and it creates at some level emotional response & re-engagement, which is why the woman reached out in the first place. Duh.

Silence is the only way to leave someone twisting, wondering. Silence is the best way IMHO for OP.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Fully agree with paragraph #2, but not paragraph #1. I give them 48 hours max and they better have plausible deniability that they were not out fvcking on the "break".
You pay them in advance,
You treat them with civility,
You have them turn around so they can have deniability.
 

TheKid

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It’s about attention. I see women (who players and playboys have flippantly, even rudely discarded) chasing after them.

It’s the damdest thing to my sensibilities that they will go blowing up the guy’s phone...it’s pitiful really. These women have no self respect, the men do not respect them, and yet the women keep chasing.

These women become part of that player’s ecosystem...his personal fan club. They become the booty calls, the ones who get the same text (to see who responds first at 1:30am), and they ‘get’ to sex him up or pick his drunk ass up from time to time. I’ve seen my buddies show off whilst doing this. It’s hilarious, and sad. These guys don’t give a crap about these women...but the women clearly have less than zero self respect....but it gives some external ego validation to these men, and they are reluctant to give up the eco system or fan club.

Unless the OP can easily get this exgf into his eco system (assuming he is emotionally disengaged enough to and assuming he would like to) he should not respond.

Why?

Any attention is validation to this woman. I used to watch women text my exBF to insult me, insult us, insult him, say inflammatory things...and sometimes he’d respond. Of course that churns up the old interaction, it creates drama (which frankly many men LOVE), and it creates at some level emotional response & re-engagement, which is why the woman reached out in the first place. Duh.

Silence is the only way to leave someone twisting, wondering. Silence is the best way IMHO for OP.
Whats her next play if i stay silent which i have been.
 

flowtheory

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give them 48 hours max and they better have plausible deniability that they were not out fvcking on the "break".
48 hours is nothing. That’s still insanely high heat emotional zone.
People need time to come down from the emotion and see the void of true loss. After initial breakups people think they can do way better or deserve way more, or maybe what they had wasn’t that special.
 

BeExcellent

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Whats her next play if i stay silent which i have been.
She may do nothing. You may hear from her again you may not. What do you want with her? If nothing you’re all good. It’s the weekend carry on.

So it’s more about you...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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