Is it ever OK to get back in touch with an ex after some years? It ended pretty badly 3 years ago. We grabbed coffee once since to catch up and it was fine, but we are not in contact. I might be in the same city for a little bit soon and I was wondering what you guys thought about checking in with her?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Ex of 3 years
- Thread starter popsickle
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
JohnyTheArrow
Senior Don Juan
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Dignity > sex with ex
ChalengeGuyFan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 521
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- 19
Getting back with an ex is like buying back your old car: same ride, same issues (probably more) and higher mileage.
Worth it ? You answer it.
Worth it ? You answer it.
ChalengeGuyFan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
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- 19
Jokes aside, this is the jist of it.JohnyTheArrow said:
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
NEVER GO BACK
If you still have feelings for her after 3 years then I'd worry you need to sort that first.
If you still have feelings for her after 3 years then I'd worry you need to sort that first.
soulforge
Master Don Juan
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Well i am currently banging my ex, who i was seeing 3 years ago..
The sex is good, but to be honest its a step backwards.. and she will always be a liability.. i will be dropping my ex very soon.. its never really worth it
The sex is good, but to be honest its a step backwards.. and she will always be a liability.. i will be dropping my ex very soon.. its never really worth it
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
SuckItUp
Senior Don Juan
The only time it's ok to go back to an ex is if the relationship ended for circumstances beyond either parties control and there wasn't acrimoy from either side. It's extremely rare for this to occur and even if those factors line up there's still a good chance that one of the parties has outgrown the other.
In your case the answer is no in terms of restarting the relationship.
In your case the answer is no in terms of restarting the relationship.