"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Ever go so good online and then go sour in person?
- Thread starter Reyaj
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Keeper
Master Don Juan
However, what is sad is if you chat to ONE girl, constantly, exclusively, and literally fall in love with her online. Thats a def
.So if you're into the online thing, chat to lots of people - meet LOTS of girls. And get on the fone and dates with 'em asap.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It didn't work for you, huh?
I a club I just act full on enjoying dancing with my mates. Next time online ask to meet properly in a clubs the following week or something. It's the way Im now meeting a podium dancer next time i hit the clubs "I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Good thing everyone can have different experiences, isn't it?
Around here, the attractive women have no need for it and I honestly can't imagine any of them doing that.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Nevertheless, the attractive women I know have no problem attracting men and have no motivation whatsoever to use Match.com. I can't say it any simpler. And remember, I'm not saying unattractive
women don't use Match. com - they do ! If they happen to look good, they probably have alot of "issues", which makes them unattractive anyway .
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Not quite, I just get $10 for every person that clicks on any link that I post.
Guess what BigFoot, I bet you can't find any woman that doesn't have any issues. Come on, how many excuses are there for not trusting women? And don't blame it on women online, they are they same women that you meet on the street.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Suggest that she meets you someplace so that you may get to know one another. Yes, it's just that simple. It's best done early on before you become her penpal.
My take on this is : Why would I limit myself to clubs/college/whatever only?Anyway, most girls there are afraid that you might be some pervert (and yes, there are many sickos out there)
So chicks even have problem giving you their phone number
But in the end it's all about their interest level, so you don't need to tell me that The real problem here is, I can by ****y as hell online but in the real world I still have some problems "being myself". Taking her to some place I know really well helps.
Duh, I guess I just need more experience in talking with REAL girls
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
So like I said, her interest level definitely did drop. She doesn't send me as much messages anymore, and doesn't talk to me as long anymore because she calls her other guy friend (some guy that she says is into her but she only views as a friend)
But she does want to hang out with me again... she has mentioned it a few times without me even mentioning anything....
The problem is I called her out for the Kino she was doing on me the last time we went out. This was the kino that led me to try and kiss her at the end of our date.
She seems confused... sometimes she gives me the friend vibe... sometimes she gives me the more than friend vibe....
We are supposed to have dinner because I won a bet, so she said she is going to pay....
What do I do? Act like a friend or try and kiss her again at the end of the date.
I am feeling like acting like a friend because maybe I can at least have a friend to use as social proof in the future.
But need advice... I know there's a little door open of hope here if I can play it right....
Real DJ's don't give up, and at least make a decent attempt. I want to hear from them!
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Real DJs don't try to create good situations out of bad ones. The create good ones from the start. They also know when their efforts are best spent on other women.
If you have been showing her disinterest after shes told you that she think of you as a friend/has other guys that want to date her then thats good. When you hang out with her give her mixed signals, act like your interested but then say something that makes it seem otherwise. For example: flirt with her and then when she asks something like "so what did you do this week" say something like "oh I hung out with my friend molly." She'll know what you mean. This shows your not hung up over her and have other options. Dont try to kiss her unless its obvious that she really wants you.
Basically if she wasnt turned off by ur looks after seeing you in person and you didnt have MAJOR personality changes from online to real life you may have a chance.
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
I guess I shouldn't give her a lame kiss good night if I hang out with her again right? I know the friendship zone is bad but I think it may be the best place to start with tihs girl!
I mean she seems scared when guys are too forward (based on past experiences)
I guess my biggest problem is I don't know how to act when I hang out wit her. Your mixed signal advice may be good though!
Should I try and kiss her, or just keep it friendly?
Iamnotacrook
Senior Don Juan
undesputable
Master Don Juan
excatly...thats why i try to stay off the internet now...Im just so good talking online now that i just dont match myself in person.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.