"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Ever go so good online and then go sour in person?
- Thread starter Reyaj
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Keeper
Master Don Juan
However, what is sad is if you chat to ONE girl, constantly, exclusively, and literally fall in love with her online. Thats a def
.So if you're into the online thing, chat to lots of people - meet LOTS of girls. And get on the fone and dates with 'em asap.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It didn't work for you, huh?
I a club I just act full on enjoying dancing with my mates. Next time online ask to meet properly in a clubs the following week or something. It's the way Im now meeting a podium dancer next time i hit the clubs "The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Good thing everyone can have different experiences, isn't it?
Around here, the attractive women have no need for it and I honestly can't imagine any of them doing that.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Nevertheless, the attractive women I know have no problem attracting men and have no motivation whatsoever to use Match.com. I can't say it any simpler. And remember, I'm not saying unattractive
women don't use Match. com - they do ! If they happen to look good, they probably have alot of "issues", which makes them unattractive anyway .
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Not quite, I just get $10 for every person that clicks on any link that I post.
Guess what BigFoot, I bet you can't find any woman that doesn't have any issues. Come on, how many excuses are there for not trusting women? And don't blame it on women online, they are they same women that you meet on the street.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Suggest that she meets you someplace so that you may get to know one another. Yes, it's just that simple. It's best done early on before you become her penpal.
My take on this is : Why would I limit myself to clubs/college/whatever only?Anyway, most girls there are afraid that you might be some pervert (and yes, there are many sickos out there)
So chicks even have problem giving you their phone number
But in the end it's all about their interest level, so you don't need to tell me that The real problem here is, I can by ****y as hell online but in the real world I still have some problems "being myself". Taking her to some place I know really well helps.
Duh, I guess I just need more experience in talking with REAL girls
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
So like I said, her interest level definitely did drop. She doesn't send me as much messages anymore, and doesn't talk to me as long anymore because she calls her other guy friend (some guy that she says is into her but she only views as a friend)
But she does want to hang out with me again... she has mentioned it a few times without me even mentioning anything....
The problem is I called her out for the Kino she was doing on me the last time we went out. This was the kino that led me to try and kiss her at the end of our date.
She seems confused... sometimes she gives me the friend vibe... sometimes she gives me the more than friend vibe....
We are supposed to have dinner because I won a bet, so she said she is going to pay....
What do I do? Act like a friend or try and kiss her again at the end of the date.
I am feeling like acting like a friend because maybe I can at least have a friend to use as social proof in the future.
But need advice... I know there's a little door open of hope here if I can play it right....
Real DJ's don't give up, and at least make a decent attempt. I want to hear from them!
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Real DJs don't try to create good situations out of bad ones. The create good ones from the start. They also know when their efforts are best spent on other women.
If you have been showing her disinterest after shes told you that she think of you as a friend/has other guys that want to date her then thats good. When you hang out with her give her mixed signals, act like your interested but then say something that makes it seem otherwise. For example: flirt with her and then when she asks something like "so what did you do this week" say something like "oh I hung out with my friend molly." She'll know what you mean. This shows your not hung up over her and have other options. Dont try to kiss her unless its obvious that she really wants you.
Basically if she wasnt turned off by ur looks after seeing you in person and you didnt have MAJOR personality changes from online to real life you may have a chance.
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
I guess I shouldn't give her a lame kiss good night if I hang out with her again right? I know the friendship zone is bad but I think it may be the best place to start with tihs girl!
I mean she seems scared when guys are too forward (based on past experiences)
I guess my biggest problem is I don't know how to act when I hang out wit her. Your mixed signal advice may be good though!
Should I try and kiss her, or just keep it friendly?
Iamnotacrook
Senior Don Juan
undesputable
Master Don Juan
excatly...thats why i try to stay off the internet now...Im just so good talking online now that i just dont match myself in person.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.