"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ever go so good online and then go sour in person?
- Thread starter Reyaj
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Keeper
Master Don Juan
However, what is sad is if you chat to ONE girl, constantly, exclusively, and literally fall in love with her online. Thats a def
.So if you're into the online thing, chat to lots of people - meet LOTS of girls. And get on the fone and dates with 'em asap.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It didn't work for you, huh?
I a club I just act full on enjoying dancing with my mates. Next time online ask to meet properly in a clubs the following week or something. It's the way Im now meeting a podium dancer next time i hit the clubs "Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Good thing everyone can have different experiences, isn't it?
Around here, the attractive women have no need for it and I honestly can't imagine any of them doing that.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Nevertheless, the attractive women I know have no problem attracting men and have no motivation whatsoever to use Match.com. I can't say it any simpler. And remember, I'm not saying unattractive
women don't use Match. com - they do ! If they happen to look good, they probably have alot of "issues", which makes them unattractive anyway .
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Not quite, I just get $10 for every person that clicks on any link that I post.
Guess what BigFoot, I bet you can't find any woman that doesn't have any issues. Come on, how many excuses are there for not trusting women? And don't blame it on women online, they are they same women that you meet on the street.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Suggest that she meets you someplace so that you may get to know one another. Yes, it's just that simple. It's best done early on before you become her penpal.
My take on this is : Why would I limit myself to clubs/college/whatever only?Anyway, most girls there are afraid that you might be some pervert (and yes, there are many sickos out there)
So chicks even have problem giving you their phone number
But in the end it's all about their interest level, so you don't need to tell me that The real problem here is, I can by ****y as hell online but in the real world I still have some problems "being myself". Taking her to some place I know really well helps.
Duh, I guess I just need more experience in talking with REAL girls
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
So like I said, her interest level definitely did drop. She doesn't send me as much messages anymore, and doesn't talk to me as long anymore because she calls her other guy friend (some guy that she says is into her but she only views as a friend)
But she does want to hang out with me again... she has mentioned it a few times without me even mentioning anything....
The problem is I called her out for the Kino she was doing on me the last time we went out. This was the kino that led me to try and kiss her at the end of our date.
She seems confused... sometimes she gives me the friend vibe... sometimes she gives me the more than friend vibe....
We are supposed to have dinner because I won a bet, so she said she is going to pay....
What do I do? Act like a friend or try and kiss her again at the end of the date.
I am feeling like acting like a friend because maybe I can at least have a friend to use as social proof in the future.
But need advice... I know there's a little door open of hope here if I can play it right....
Real DJ's don't give up, and at least make a decent attempt. I want to hear from them!
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Real DJs don't try to create good situations out of bad ones. The create good ones from the start. They also know when their efforts are best spent on other women.
If you have been showing her disinterest after shes told you that she think of you as a friend/has other guys that want to date her then thats good. When you hang out with her give her mixed signals, act like your interested but then say something that makes it seem otherwise. For example: flirt with her and then when she asks something like "so what did you do this week" say something like "oh I hung out with my friend molly." She'll know what you mean. This shows your not hung up over her and have other options. Dont try to kiss her unless its obvious that she really wants you.
Basically if she wasnt turned off by ur looks after seeing you in person and you didnt have MAJOR personality changes from online to real life you may have a chance.
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
I guess I shouldn't give her a lame kiss good night if I hang out with her again right? I know the friendship zone is bad but I think it may be the best place to start with tihs girl!
I mean she seems scared when guys are too forward (based on past experiences)
I guess my biggest problem is I don't know how to act when I hang out wit her. Your mixed signal advice may be good though!
Should I try and kiss her, or just keep it friendly?
Iamnotacrook
Senior Don Juan
undesputable
Master Don Juan
excatly...thats why i try to stay off the internet now...Im just so good talking online now that i just dont match myself in person.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.