"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Email response
- Thread starter luv 2 fly
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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Exactly. It's like filling out a job application. And, it indicates that I look up to her as the prize.mrRuckus said:
Plus, I think email/text is a very bad way to communicate because there isn't any way to see her real reactions to the talk.
Like I could say "well, I like a woman who acts like a lady" and women will react wildly different. One girl could take it as "he's romantic" and another will remember her last boyfriend saying that and "acts like a lady" equals "letting loose while dancing with other girls/guys present will cause an extreme blowout when we get home because he's a control freak". The man will never know how she reacted if he's not there to see her go positive or negative. The way women "feel" words and phrases and interpret them is extremely different from how men process them. A man hearing "acts like a gentleman" will think about opening doors and stuff like that which is completely different than how a woman processes "acts like a lady".
I just DO and DON'T say (directly). Figuring out what I like/dislike about people/girls on her own gives her a puzzle which causes increased interest and increased excitement. Every direct answer removes more mystery as well as lowering her excitement and interest.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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Just ignore it. It didn't happen. That'll get her more curious and interested. Type a new email instead of quoting the old one.luv 2 fly said:
Just get her phone number. If (when) she asks again just briefly say "I've always liked girls who can juggle bowling pins" or any other of an unlimited number of things that will put a funny picture in her mind. She'll laugh and her interest/attraction WILL increase. Don't go overboard and write paragraphs like that. Looking like you have too much time to spare and writing long witty "answers" to her will make her think you don't have a life. Just keep it short.
Take time answering emails. Never ever let her get the impression you're sitting at your computer waiting for her emails. You're out doing mysterious stuff right?
Not at all. She's a woman, she's curious, and most importantly, she's curious about you. Women very rarely randomly ask men questions like that, especiallly ones about YOUR LIKES/DISLIKES. If you answer those types of questions too easily, she has nothing to daydream about what you're like.
Also, she wants to chase but at the same tie she'll sabotage things by trying to look for reasons to NOT like you and protect herself. And, it's easy to misread what you say when it's just text. If you're being ****y/funny with "bowling pin jugglers" or whatever, it can't be misread. You're elusive, funny, and there isn't any real meaning attached to your non-answer-answer. DON'T ENGAGE HER LOGIC CIRCUITS!
She wants to spend her time at home thinking "does he/doesn't he like me, what can I do to get him interested, does he like if I'm {whatever}" etc... She wants to spend her time WORKING to get answers. For every answer she gets, she needs at least one more mystery added. That's how soap operas attract women and keep them interested over even decades (important concept!). The women are forced to contemplate over a period of time what will possibly happen or what she'll find out. And, just as she gets one answer, another couple of mysteries start immediately.
She absolutely DOESN'T really want to read text that explains it all. Then her interest in you will drop very fast and interest in some other guy who IS mysterious and lets her daydream will rise (relatively) and she'll drop you to chase him.
It's never been a problem just basically ignoring any questions i don't feel like answering. Serious questions and answers in emails should be infrequent.
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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Oh, very true, I do that as well on occasion.mrRuckus said:
I should have noted that I was meaning that advice to someone who wasn't sure about answering questions and new enough to this to ask if he should go for a number. I just didn't want him to trip up on something before he even got a chance to go on a date. That's far too common I've noticed just in the short time I've been here.
Once he's got enough experience, he can pretty much wing it based on the vibe he's getting from any particular woman.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
Just answer her question and let her qualify herself to you.
I've done this to women before, through email; I ask them what they look for in men. They answer, and ask me the same back.
This isn't a shyt test, it's a direct question, and SHE WANTS TO BE QUALIFIED.
If she wanted to disqualify you, she wouldn't have emailed you back, period.
Getting the number is always a good plan...be like "oh no, we're gonna talk about THAT over the phone
what's your #?""She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
hb: What do you look for in a woman?
hero: I want a woman that makes a good sandwish and will give me foot massages on command.
or
hero: I want a woman that makes a good sandwish and will give me blow jobs on command like a sexy robot. (got it from peter chao, funny response but you having the guts to say it will get a good laugh out of her and disarm her question/sh** test she is trying to pull). If done right it will definitely create attraction.