"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Email response
- Thread starter luv 2 fly
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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Exactly. It's like filling out a job application. And, it indicates that I look up to her as the prize.mrRuckus said:
Plus, I think email/text is a very bad way to communicate because there isn't any way to see her real reactions to the talk.
Like I could say "well, I like a woman who acts like a lady" and women will react wildly different. One girl could take it as "he's romantic" and another will remember her last boyfriend saying that and "acts like a lady" equals "letting loose while dancing with other girls/guys present will cause an extreme blowout when we get home because he's a control freak". The man will never know how she reacted if he's not there to see her go positive or negative. The way women "feel" words and phrases and interpret them is extremely different from how men process them. A man hearing "acts like a gentleman" will think about opening doors and stuff like that which is completely different than how a woman processes "acts like a lady".
I just DO and DON'T say (directly). Figuring out what I like/dislike about people/girls on her own gives her a puzzle which causes increased interest and increased excitement. Every direct answer removes more mystery as well as lowering her excitement and interest.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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Just ignore it. It didn't happen. That'll get her more curious and interested. Type a new email instead of quoting the old one.luv 2 fly said:
Just get her phone number. If (when) she asks again just briefly say "I've always liked girls who can juggle bowling pins" or any other of an unlimited number of things that will put a funny picture in her mind. She'll laugh and her interest/attraction WILL increase. Don't go overboard and write paragraphs like that. Looking like you have too much time to spare and writing long witty "answers" to her will make her think you don't have a life. Just keep it short.
Take time answering emails. Never ever let her get the impression you're sitting at your computer waiting for her emails. You're out doing mysterious stuff right?
Not at all. She's a woman, she's curious, and most importantly, she's curious about you. Women very rarely randomly ask men questions like that, especiallly ones about YOUR LIKES/DISLIKES. If you answer those types of questions too easily, she has nothing to daydream about what you're like.
Also, she wants to chase but at the same tie she'll sabotage things by trying to look for reasons to NOT like you and protect herself. And, it's easy to misread what you say when it's just text. If you're being ****y/funny with "bowling pin jugglers" or whatever, it can't be misread. You're elusive, funny, and there isn't any real meaning attached to your non-answer-answer. DON'T ENGAGE HER LOGIC CIRCUITS!
She wants to spend her time at home thinking "does he/doesn't he like me, what can I do to get him interested, does he like if I'm {whatever}" etc... She wants to spend her time WORKING to get answers. For every answer she gets, she needs at least one more mystery added. That's how soap operas attract women and keep them interested over even decades (important concept!). The women are forced to contemplate over a period of time what will possibly happen or what she'll find out. And, just as she gets one answer, another couple of mysteries start immediately.
She absolutely DOESN'T really want to read text that explains it all. Then her interest in you will drop very fast and interest in some other guy who IS mysterious and lets her daydream will rise (relatively) and she'll drop you to chase him.
It's never been a problem just basically ignoring any questions i don't feel like answering. Serious questions and answers in emails should be infrequent.
ThatMysteriousGuy
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Oh, very true, I do that as well on occasion.mrRuckus said:
I should have noted that I was meaning that advice to someone who wasn't sure about answering questions and new enough to this to ask if he should go for a number. I just didn't want him to trip up on something before he even got a chance to go on a date. That's far too common I've noticed just in the short time I've been here.
Once he's got enough experience, he can pretty much wing it based on the vibe he's getting from any particular woman.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
Just answer her question and let her qualify herself to you.
I've done this to women before, through email; I ask them what they look for in men. They answer, and ask me the same back.
This isn't a shyt test, it's a direct question, and SHE WANTS TO BE QUALIFIED.
If she wanted to disqualify you, she wouldn't have emailed you back, period.
Getting the number is always a good plan...be like "oh no, we're gonna talk about THAT over the phone
what's your #?""Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
hb: What do you look for in a woman?
hero: I want a woman that makes a good sandwish and will give me foot massages on command.
or
hero: I want a woman that makes a good sandwish and will give me blow jobs on command like a sexy robot. (got it from peter chao, funny response but you having the guts to say it will get a good laugh out of her and disarm her question/sh** test she is trying to pull). If done right it will definitely create attraction.