"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Email response
- Thread starter luv 2 fly
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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Exactly. It's like filling out a job application. And, it indicates that I look up to her as the prize.mrRuckus said:
Plus, I think email/text is a very bad way to communicate because there isn't any way to see her real reactions to the talk.
Like I could say "well, I like a woman who acts like a lady" and women will react wildly different. One girl could take it as "he's romantic" and another will remember her last boyfriend saying that and "acts like a lady" equals "letting loose while dancing with other girls/guys present will cause an extreme blowout when we get home because he's a control freak". The man will never know how she reacted if he's not there to see her go positive or negative. The way women "feel" words and phrases and interpret them is extremely different from how men process them. A man hearing "acts like a gentleman" will think about opening doors and stuff like that which is completely different than how a woman processes "acts like a lady".
I just DO and DON'T say (directly). Figuring out what I like/dislike about people/girls on her own gives her a puzzle which causes increased interest and increased excitement. Every direct answer removes more mystery as well as lowering her excitement and interest.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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Just ignore it. It didn't happen. That'll get her more curious and interested. Type a new email instead of quoting the old one.luv 2 fly said:
Just get her phone number. If (when) she asks again just briefly say "I've always liked girls who can juggle bowling pins" or any other of an unlimited number of things that will put a funny picture in her mind. She'll laugh and her interest/attraction WILL increase. Don't go overboard and write paragraphs like that. Looking like you have too much time to spare and writing long witty "answers" to her will make her think you don't have a life. Just keep it short.
Take time answering emails. Never ever let her get the impression you're sitting at your computer waiting for her emails. You're out doing mysterious stuff right?
Not at all. She's a woman, she's curious, and most importantly, she's curious about you. Women very rarely randomly ask men questions like that, especiallly ones about YOUR LIKES/DISLIKES. If you answer those types of questions too easily, she has nothing to daydream about what you're like.
Also, she wants to chase but at the same tie she'll sabotage things by trying to look for reasons to NOT like you and protect herself. And, it's easy to misread what you say when it's just text. If you're being ****y/funny with "bowling pin jugglers" or whatever, it can't be misread. You're elusive, funny, and there isn't any real meaning attached to your non-answer-answer. DON'T ENGAGE HER LOGIC CIRCUITS!
She wants to spend her time at home thinking "does he/doesn't he like me, what can I do to get him interested, does he like if I'm {whatever}" etc... She wants to spend her time WORKING to get answers. For every answer she gets, she needs at least one more mystery added. That's how soap operas attract women and keep them interested over even decades (important concept!). The women are forced to contemplate over a period of time what will possibly happen or what she'll find out. And, just as she gets one answer, another couple of mysteries start immediately.
She absolutely DOESN'T really want to read text that explains it all. Then her interest in you will drop very fast and interest in some other guy who IS mysterious and lets her daydream will rise (relatively) and she'll drop you to chase him.
It's never been a problem just basically ignoring any questions i don't feel like answering. Serious questions and answers in emails should be infrequent.
ThatMysteriousGuy
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Oh, very true, I do that as well on occasion.mrRuckus said:
I should have noted that I was meaning that advice to someone who wasn't sure about answering questions and new enough to this to ask if he should go for a number. I just didn't want him to trip up on something before he even got a chance to go on a date. That's far too common I've noticed just in the short time I've been here.
Once he's got enough experience, he can pretty much wing it based on the vibe he's getting from any particular woman.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
Just answer her question and let her qualify herself to you.
I've done this to women before, through email; I ask them what they look for in men. They answer, and ask me the same back.
This isn't a shyt test, it's a direct question, and SHE WANTS TO BE QUALIFIED.
If she wanted to disqualify you, she wouldn't have emailed you back, period.
Getting the number is always a good plan...be like "oh no, we're gonna talk about THAT over the phone
what's your #?""The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
hb: What do you look for in a woman?
hero: I want a woman that makes a good sandwish and will give me foot massages on command.
or
hero: I want a woman that makes a good sandwish and will give me blow jobs on command like a sexy robot. (got it from peter chao, funny response but you having the guts to say it will get a good laugh out of her and disarm her question/sh** test she is trying to pull). If done right it will definitely create attraction.