"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Ego
- Thread starter October
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Having an image of yourself is bad already, since you have to know yourself and not just have an image.
When you see a hot woman your instincts immediately say: "Go and approach her stud!"
But then the ego steps in the way: "But what if you fail. It would hurt your image of yourself. You might seem as a loser!"
And the fact is, if you don't try you are already loser who gets nothing.
To become a DJ, it's good to see who you really are first. Dropping that image of yourself (aka ego) you'll get to the bottom where the only way is up. You have to accept who you are at start. 99% guys here are complete wussies at start. Accepting that, they'll easy the process to become something better.
Plus, you know people who have huge ego. The kind who clearly think they are the best and are not. Isn't people like that annoying? I think they are.
Why?
-Because they have an image that they are better than others. And they still only have that image, nothing more.
You've also seen those rare people who don't brag about themselves and are clearly cooler/better/smarter/more successful than other but people absolutely love them.
-Those people don't cheat on themselves having an image of them being great, they have just worked to be what they are and are down to earth about that since they haven't let ego control them.
Jariel mentioned guys with huge egos that never learn or improve because they can't accept that they have to; well, the reverse is also true. There are many guys with equally huge but negative egos that never learn or improve because they've got themselves pegged as worthless pieces of sh!t that should've been left to the wolves when they were born - this negative ego-image is also known as the "loser mentality".
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
il_duce
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
There's a difference between arrogant and confident.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
The ego is just the model for a role that you play, a character created by your mind that you forget is just an abstraction. One man's ego could be self-hating and inferiority complex-ed just as easily as another man's ego could be self-important and arrogant.
I agree with this. The ego is often defined as a sense of self-esteem, but I believe the original definition of the ego is the identity of oneself. It can indeed be negative.
The problem when the ego takes over is that it that it is full of limiting beliefs and restrictions. People get stuck believing they are a certain way and can't change. However, a person with little sense of ego is more open to changes.
Another problem with ego is that it can create a sense of isolation whereas putting your ego aside can really help you adapt and to create an affinity with other people.