"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Ego
- Thread starter October
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Having an image of yourself is bad already, since you have to know yourself and not just have an image.
When you see a hot woman your instincts immediately say: "Go and approach her stud!"
But then the ego steps in the way: "But what if you fail. It would hurt your image of yourself. You might seem as a loser!"
And the fact is, if you don't try you are already loser who gets nothing.
To become a DJ, it's good to see who you really are first. Dropping that image of yourself (aka ego) you'll get to the bottom where the only way is up. You have to accept who you are at start. 99% guys here are complete wussies at start. Accepting that, they'll easy the process to become something better.
Plus, you know people who have huge ego. The kind who clearly think they are the best and are not. Isn't people like that annoying? I think they are.
Why?
-Because they have an image that they are better than others. And they still only have that image, nothing more.
You've also seen those rare people who don't brag about themselves and are clearly cooler/better/smarter/more successful than other but people absolutely love them.
-Those people don't cheat on themselves having an image of them being great, they have just worked to be what they are and are down to earth about that since they haven't let ego control them.
Jariel mentioned guys with huge egos that never learn or improve because they can't accept that they have to; well, the reverse is also true. There are many guys with equally huge but negative egos that never learn or improve because they've got themselves pegged as worthless pieces of sh!t that should've been left to the wolves when they were born - this negative ego-image is also known as the "loser mentality".
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
il_duce
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
There's a difference between arrogant and confident.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
The ego is just the model for a role that you play, a character created by your mind that you forget is just an abstraction. One man's ego could be self-hating and inferiority complex-ed just as easily as another man's ego could be self-important and arrogant.
I agree with this. The ego is often defined as a sense of self-esteem, but I believe the original definition of the ego is the identity of oneself. It can indeed be negative.
The problem when the ego takes over is that it that it is full of limiting beliefs and restrictions. People get stuck believing they are a certain way and can't change. However, a person with little sense of ego is more open to changes.
Another problem with ego is that it can create a sense of isolation whereas putting your ego aside can really help you adapt and to create an affinity with other people.