"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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During NC , mother dies..what next ?

Yorkex

Senior Don Juan
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My ex of 4 years mother just passed , she massaged me and her brothers also messaged me , what now ?

Keep NC or break but with distance ?
I'm actually so confused right now because I know the whole family and we got along fine but she ****ed up and I can't be with her anymore for that.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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expos

Master Don Juan
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Yorkex said:
My ex of 4 years mother just passed , she massaged me and her brothers also messaged me , what now ?

Keep NC or break but with distance ?
I'm actually so confused right now because I know the whole family and we got along fine but she ****ed up and I can't be with her anymore for that.
Depends on how abusive she was. Did she cheat on you? Beat you? Emotionally abuse you?

If not...

Wait about a week. Then write "I'm terribly sorry for your loss. These things are very tough. I hope you are OK. Please, be well."

DO NOT WRITE ANYTHING AFTER THAT. Back to No CONTACT. Block her number and delete any incoming messages and texts that come from her. Any correspondence shows that you care too much about HER and not her family.

She is trying to pull you in guise of her mothers death which is self-serving and wrong.
 

GS750

Master Don Juan
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I'd send a sympathy card in the mail. That's about it. Back to NC.
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
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jesus christ some of you people are cold hearted.

offer your condolences OP, somebody died, this isn't really about either of you, you can always go back to never speaking to her again after that.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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Yorkex said:
My ex of 4 years mother just passed , she massaged me and her brothers also messaged me , what now ?

Keep NC or break but with distance ?
Depends on how long the NC has been going on. If it's been like 2 weeks or less, send her your condolences but nothing more.

If it's been longer, do not respond. Remember that these people are no longer part of your life and there's reasons for it.. If you fondly remember her mother, light a candle and have your own moment of silence for the woman. Remember her because YOU want to, not because your ex is guilting you into it.
 
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