"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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During NC , mother dies..what next ?

Yorkex

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My ex of 4 years mother just passed , she massaged me and her brothers also messaged me , what now ?

Keep NC or break but with distance ?
I'm actually so confused right now because I know the whole family and we got along fine but she ****ed up and I can't be with her anymore for that.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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expos

Master Don Juan
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Yorkex said:
My ex of 4 years mother just passed , she massaged me and her brothers also messaged me , what now ?

Keep NC or break but with distance ?
I'm actually so confused right now because I know the whole family and we got along fine but she ****ed up and I can't be with her anymore for that.
Depends on how abusive she was. Did she cheat on you? Beat you? Emotionally abuse you?

If not...

Wait about a week. Then write "I'm terribly sorry for your loss. These things are very tough. I hope you are OK. Please, be well."

DO NOT WRITE ANYTHING AFTER THAT. Back to No CONTACT. Block her number and delete any incoming messages and texts that come from her. Any correspondence shows that you care too much about HER and not her family.

She is trying to pull you in guise of her mothers death which is self-serving and wrong.
 

GS750

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I'd send a sympathy card in the mail. That's about it. Back to NC.
 

devilkingx2

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jesus christ some of you people are cold hearted.

offer your condolences OP, somebody died, this isn't really about either of you, you can always go back to never speaking to her again after that.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Desdinova

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Yorkex said:
My ex of 4 years mother just passed , she massaged me and her brothers also messaged me , what now ?

Keep NC or break but with distance ?
Depends on how long the NC has been going on. If it's been like 2 weeks or less, send her your condolences but nothing more.

If it's been longer, do not respond. Remember that these people are no longer part of your life and there's reasons for it.. If you fondly remember her mother, light a candle and have your own moment of silence for the woman. Remember her because YOU want to, not because your ex is guilting you into it.
 
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