darksprezzatura
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2017
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Before posting PART IV - SEDUCTION of my series of posts around The Black Flag, I wanted to share an insight.
There have been times when I've been blown out of sets, got head turns leaning in, withheld sex from, flaked on multiple times, dumped, left for another guy, been cheated on probably, emotionally abused and strung along as a friend, battled crushing oneitis for more than one women.
There have also been times when I had sex on first dates, hundreds of lays in a couple of months, girls approaching me, experiencing unmentionable sexcapades, had public sex and kisses, got great gifts, set plates with friends, and experienced great relationships.
All these experiences affected my self esteem, pride and ego both positively and negatively.
I let my emotions be determined by factors outside my influence when I was new to the game.
When success affects a man's pride, self esteem and ego, failure will affect it equally.
In essence, emotions start being governed by factors outside your control by externalities, namely people especially women during seduction.
This is why many guys get hurt by women who reject them, creating feelings of oneitis even when biologically the feelings of 'love' have dissipated over time.
The Dunning-Kruger effect.
In layman' terms, this effect says that low ability people tend to have illusory superiority due to error of self awareness, whereas high ability people underestimate themselves assuming what they do so easily is something everyone else can do too.
This is essentially the jerk-nice guy dichotomy.
A person who considers himself perfect will never have the humility to improve, leading to incompetence masked by his ego, leading to unsustainable and incongruent behaviour.
A person who considers himself useless even while improving continuously will never have the confidence to reach out for what he wants, leading to being a pushover and unattractive.
To become more confident:
1. Stop trying to achieve perfection
2. Take calculated risks
3. Practice strong body language
4. Let go of failures
5. Dress like a badass
6. Accept compliments and credit
To become humble:
1. Learn to say I don't know
2. Empower others to lead
3. Share your mistakes
4. Seek different viewpoints
5. Recognise the need for continuous improvement
Tip: Edge towards the side of arrogance than self deprecation.
Most guys here I see are extremely overconfident calling themselves alphas, ignorant to men laughing at them and others massively deprecating themselves to gather sympathy ignorant to their own high value.
If you balance this right rejection, success, plates, "being alpha", love, oneitis, self improvement, game etc would all become trivial and effortless as you would have inner peace.
There have been times when I've been blown out of sets, got head turns leaning in, withheld sex from, flaked on multiple times, dumped, left for another guy, been cheated on probably, emotionally abused and strung along as a friend, battled crushing oneitis for more than one women.
There have also been times when I had sex on first dates, hundreds of lays in a couple of months, girls approaching me, experiencing unmentionable sexcapades, had public sex and kisses, got great gifts, set plates with friends, and experienced great relationships.
All these experiences affected my self esteem, pride and ego both positively and negatively.
I let my emotions be determined by factors outside my influence when I was new to the game.
When success affects a man's pride, self esteem and ego, failure will affect it equally.
In essence, emotions start being governed by factors outside your control by externalities, namely people especially women during seduction.
This is why many guys get hurt by women who reject them, creating feelings of oneitis even when biologically the feelings of 'love' have dissipated over time.
The Dunning-Kruger effect.
In layman' terms, this effect says that low ability people tend to have illusory superiority due to error of self awareness, whereas high ability people underestimate themselves assuming what they do so easily is something everyone else can do too.
This is essentially the jerk-nice guy dichotomy.
A person who considers himself perfect will never have the humility to improve, leading to incompetence masked by his ego, leading to unsustainable and incongruent behaviour.
A person who considers himself useless even while improving continuously will never have the confidence to reach out for what he wants, leading to being a pushover and unattractive.
To become more confident:
1. Stop trying to achieve perfection
2. Take calculated risks
3. Practice strong body language
4. Let go of failures
5. Dress like a badass
6. Accept compliments and credit
To become humble:
1. Learn to say I don't know
2. Empower others to lead
3. Share your mistakes
4. Seek different viewpoints
5. Recognise the need for continuous improvement
Tip: Edge towards the side of arrogance than self deprecation.
Most guys here I see are extremely overconfident calling themselves alphas, ignorant to men laughing at them and others massively deprecating themselves to gather sympathy ignorant to their own high value.
If you balance this right rejection, success, plates, "being alpha", love, oneitis, self improvement, game etc would all become trivial and effortless as you would have inner peace.
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