"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
DragonKi's BootCamp Journal
- Thread starter dragonki
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Meetup groups have a higher quality of women than the club for sure. I'd check to see if there are any other groups in your area that might be appealing to you to meet women, or even create your own group. That will help you socialize as well as meet new women on a consistent basis.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Back to focusing on effort, rather than results.
Good reads:
Approach mindset, they want to talk to you as much as you want to talk to them!
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/355.htm
Go out and get experience
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000773.html
The decades don't change this excellent tip! I forgot about 30/70, 40/60 talking ratio, and focused on being a mystery.
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/converse.htm
More about getting to know a woman
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/talktowomen.htm
Alright, after reading some other journals, I've got a new paradigm on this approach thing. Women want to be chatted up, and it's our job to do it. I've never heard of a chick say that it's their job to go up and talk to a guy they like, ever. Not going to pick up women from being a nervous wreck that for sure!
Also I couldn't find this post:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20096
from:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/daily-journal-for-cold-approaches.34241/
This cute girl kept the conversation going, and made an effort with it. The addiction to success and talking to women begins. Still nerve wracking as hell though.
Getting more comfortable with the uncomfortable, so to speak.
Man, the best advice for me is to clam the hell down. It's like my brain is hijacked when trying to approach, but DJing is a state of mind. Getting into the flow feels so damn natural. Must approach more!
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.