"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Don't Fvck The Monkeys

taiyuu_otoko

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ed-three-years-sexually-harassing-monkey.html

An Egyptian court has sentenced a 25-year-old woman to three years in prison for 'sexually harassing' a monkey in the country's north, state daily Al-Ahram reported Friday.

A court in Mansoura city charged Basma Ahmed with 'inciting debauchery' and 'committing an obscene act in public', a judicial source told the newspaper.

She was arrested in October after a 90-second video of the incident went viral, particularly among young people and students, Al-Ahram said.




Basma Ahmed was charged with 'inciting debauchery' and 'committing an obscene act in public
The video shows Ahmed laughing while touching the genitals of a monkey at a pet shop in the Nile Delta city and making sexual innuendos as people around her chuckle.

At court she 'confessed... to the incident but said she did not mean to commit an indecent act and that she had been tickling the monkey'.

The video sparked a fierce backlash online in the conservative Muslim country.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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logicallefty

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Monkey 'Dee' Monkey Do
 

Fzatf

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Part of me feels like a fine would be sufficient. 3 years isn't horrible but I don't know if that much time is required. Surely 6 months would be enough to prevent her from doing it again. However I wonder if a male doing the same thing to a female monkey would've gotten a harsher penalty. It's weird, but she's clearly lying now that she was caught. Ah well, don't spank someone else's monkey and you'll be fine.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Atom Smasher

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"Officials said that Ahmed is not a first-time offender and has previously been charged in two other 'public moral' cases."
 

Fzatf

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"Officials said that Ahmed is not a first-time offender and has previously been charged in two other 'public moral' cases."
A repeat offender. The Bill Cosby of the monkeys.
 

glass half full

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Let the Monkeys fvck each other...Never forget my trip to the Cincy Zoo when I was like 12 or 13...one monkey sniffing another one down, then getting in back and mounting it, funny as heyll.

There was plenty of other monkeys there...
 
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