"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Don't Fvck The Monkeys

taiyuu_otoko

taiyuu_otoko

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ed-three-years-sexually-harassing-monkey.html

An Egyptian court has sentenced a 25-year-old woman to three years in prison for 'sexually harassing' a monkey in the country's north, state daily Al-Ahram reported Friday.

A court in Mansoura city charged Basma Ahmed with 'inciting debauchery' and 'committing an obscene act in public', a judicial source told the newspaper.

She was arrested in October after a 90-second video of the incident went viral, particularly among young people and students, Al-Ahram said.




Basma Ahmed was charged with 'inciting debauchery' and 'committing an obscene act in public
The video shows Ahmed laughing while touching the genitals of a monkey at a pet shop in the Nile Delta city and making sexual innuendos as people around her chuckle.

At court she 'confessed... to the incident but said she did not mean to commit an indecent act and that she had been tickling the monkey'.

The video sparked a fierce backlash online in the conservative Muslim country.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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logicallefty

logicallefty

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Monkey 'Dee' Monkey Do
 
Fzatf

Fzatf

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Part of me feels like a fine would be sufficient. 3 years isn't horrible but I don't know if that much time is required. Surely 6 months would be enough to prevent her from doing it again. However I wonder if a male doing the same thing to a female monkey would've gotten a harsher penalty. It's weird, but she's clearly lying now that she was caught. Ah well, don't spank someone else's monkey and you'll be fine.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Atom Smasher

Atom Smasher

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"Officials said that Ahmed is not a first-time offender and has previously been charged in two other 'public moral' cases."
 
Fzatf

Fzatf

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Atom Smasher said:
"Officials said that Ahmed is not a first-time offender and has previously been charged in two other 'public moral' cases."
Click to expand...
A repeat offender. The Bill Cosby of the monkeys.
 
G

glass half full

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Let the Monkeys fvck each other...Never forget my trip to the Cincy Zoo when I was like 12 or 13...one monkey sniffing another one down, then getting in back and mounting it, funny as heyll.

There was plenty of other monkeys there...
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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