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DonJuanjr's growing pains

DonJuanjr

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Maybe a little... I mean, it's understandable with a peak smv, but a mid thirties single mom.... I would have thought that would have afforded a little more leeway. I am just frustrated with the missed opportunity of attempted seduction on a date.
 

DonJuanjr

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Update:
So today I approached 9 females. I got 3 numbers, and so far 1 date lined up for friday. I am waiting on a response for another for thursday. The last chick I have to investigate a little as she seems like a hood rat. Since she is the most likely to put out on the first date, I am probably going to go through with it.

The conversation with the first went:
Me: Hi 1, This is DJj. How's salads at place on friday at 8 sound?
1: Yeah I think that should work!
Me: Sounds good. I'll see you then.
1: See you then!

Conversation with chick 2:
Me: Hi 2. This is DJj. How's apps at place sound on thursday at 8 sound?

I am still waiting for a response on her. She may have gave me her number out of niceness and has no real interest. Her body language was pretty defensive when I was talking with her in the store. She seems introverted. At one point in the conversation I said "You're not interested are you?" she replied with "well I don't know you". So I took this as an invitation to keep trying. I talked a little more, and she was like talking to a brick wall. But she gave me her number and seemed to to take my alternative of having appetizers instead of drinks.

Once this is confirmed, I will set up the third chick's date for Saturday since she is willing to have a drink.
 

DonJuanjr

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So the chick I was supposed to go on a date with tonight cancelled on me. I texted her around 1:
Me: Hey stranger, just checking to make sure we're still on for tonight.
3 hours later
her: Sorry, something came up. I can't
Me: When can you?
I'm just going to leave it at that. Until further notice she's dead to me.

Regarding chick 2:
I waited until yesterday for a response from her. I didn't get any. I figured since it's so close to my proposed date time, she's ghosting. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I sent her a double text.

Me: Obviously you're not comfortable enough with me yet to go on a date with. If you need to know more about me, text me or call me sometime.
I get a response from her.
Her: Sorry usually people tell me about themselves first. Also I don't have Thursdays off.
Me: I figured I was imposing while you were working, so I wanted to make it quick. Also I thought that is what the date is for;).
Her: Okay I see. That is what it's for, but I like to have an idea.

I proceed to tell her a little about myself. She responds with a little about her self. Then she writes:
Her: It's too bad you don't like running. I could use a running buddy.
I'm thinking this is not going well as I'm giving anti seductive friend zone type of attention. So I reply:
Me:Yeah I just don't have the energy after weight lifting. What days do you have off? I could use an appetizer eating buddy;). This was a half an hour ago. I'm awaiting a response. I'm hoping the winking face makes it clear that this is a date, and not a friend outing.
 

DonJuanjr

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I also hit up the hood rat on Tuesday trying to set up a date for tomorrow. She has not replied.
 

DonJuanjr

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Well, chick number 2 responded.
Her:Thanks for reaching out to me. You seem like a nice guy. but it doesn't seem like we would be that compatible. I hope you enjoy your weekend. Take care, hun.
Me: We don't need to be identical to enjoy each others company. It's just one date. What do you have to lose?
No response.
Though I am not sure I'd entertain a date at this point. Since there is no room for seduction and it would be a waste of money.
 

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Young OG

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Well, chick number 2 responded.
Her:Thanks for reaching out to me. You seem like a nice guy. but it doesn't seem like we would be that compatible. I hope you enjoy your weekend. Take care, hun.
Me: We don't need to be identical to enjoy each others company. It's just one date. What do you have to lose?
No response.
Though I am not sure I'd entertain a date at this point. Since there is no room for seduction and it would be a waste of money.
You're coming off very desperate and needy in your texts. The one I quoted above, you should have never responded after she said take care hun. When they say stuff like that or flake with no counter offer, then don't respond and just delete there number.

Also, you ask for the date too fast. You need to text them more first and build some comfort. Then you ask them to meet for a drink.
 

Young OG

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This contradicts what @EyeBRollin and many others on here advise.
Judging from what you post, it looks like you are asking for the date on the first message or second message. Why would a women that just met you agree to a date that quickly? I can see if you were Brad Pitt or something then yeah.

Don't take my advice and try something different. Keep doing what you been doing and continue to get flaked on and ghosted. Suit yourself.
 

DonJuanjr

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I met these chicks doing cold approach in person. There was a little conversation in the stores first. I appreciate your input. The conversations I'm logging are the texts after they gave me their numbers in person.

Judging from what you post, it looks like you are asking for the date on the first message or second message. Why would a women that just met you agree to a date that quickly? I can see if you were Brad Pitt or something then yeah.

Don't take my advice and try something different. Keep doing what you been doing and continue to get flaked on and ghosted. Suit yourself.
 

DonJuanjr

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@Young OG In your experience, do you feel the rapport needs to be built in texts, if you already chatted with them in person for a little bit, then got their number?
 

Young OG

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@Young OG In your experience, do you feel the rapport needs to be built in texts, if you already chatted with them in person for a little bit, then got their number?
Not rapport but comfort. I'm not saying you have to have a really long text conversation with them. When you text them, remind them who you are, then text back and forth for a bit. You can joke around a little but don't be a comedian. Then you ask them to meet for a drink. If you ask for the date on the first or second message, you come off as way too needy and desperate. Also, don't do the I'll be at xyz place at this time, meet me there of you want to have a drink. That's really dumb advice being passed around on here.

It doesn't matter if you met her from cold approach or online, you still need to text back and forth for a bit before asking her on a date. Trust me, I've tried everything you can think of. There is alot of garbage advice on here. I've been here for a while and I've been on tons of dates.
 

Lookatu

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You're coming off very desperate and needy in your texts. The one I quoted above, you should have never responded after she said take care hun. When they say stuff like that or flake with no counter offer, then don't respond and just delete there number.

Also, you ask for the date too fast. You need to text them more first and build some comfort. Then you ask them to meet for a drink.
This.
 

DonJuanjr

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@Lookatu Other than this text which I figured "screw it, this girl isn't interested so I have nothing to lose". She was very reserved, so I thought maybe she needed a show of more effort as a way of showing I have actual interest in her. Kinda like how females say "I bet you do this for all the girls".

Me: We don't need to be identical to enjoy each others company. It's just one date. What do you have to lose?
In your opinion which other texts come off as needy and desperate?
 

Lookatu

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So the chick I was supposed to go on a date with tonight cancelled on me. I texted her around 1:
Me: Hey stranger, just checking to make sure we're still on for tonight.
3 hours later
her: Sorry, something came up. I can't
Me: When can you?
If a girl doesn't offer a reschedule and reason, there's nothing more to say or ask. It's time to move on.

Regarding chick 2:
so I sent her a double text.

Me: Obviously you're not comfortable enough with me yet to go on a date with. If you need to know more about me, text me or call me sometime.
I get a response from her.
Her: Sorry usually people tell me about themselves first.


I proceed to tell her a little about myself. She responds with a little about her self. Then she writes:
Her: It's too bad you don't like running. I could use a running buddy.
Double texting usually doesn't amount to anything good. One way you could've done this is to just send a playful gif you think she'll get a chuckle out of(depending on her age) instead of what you wrote which was a mistake.

Instead of saying what you think she's feeling, you could've tried to provide more dialogue and comfort and be playful.

In her telling you she could use a running buddy, you should've already known you were friendzoned before you even started.
 

DonJuanjr

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Double texting usually doesn't amount to anything good. One way you could've done this is to just send a playful gif you think she'll get a chuckle out of(depending on her age) instead of what you wrote which was a mistake.
I think the double text was successful as it got her to respond and the conversation going. Next time when I think there is a high chance they won't respond, I'll try sending the playful gif or comforting type dialog. Though I would have thought this would send me to friendzone also.
 

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Lookatu

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I'll try sending the playful gif or comforting type dialog. Though I would have thought this would send me to friendzone also.
Just to be clear, send a playful gif or something random. Comforting type dialogue is once you get her attention and she is chatting back and forth with you.
 

DonJuanjr

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So about 11 days ago I matched with some chick on tinder. I wrote to her "Hey trouble". She didn't reply for 10 days. So I figure I've got nothing to lose... She's not interested anyways.... So I wrote to her:

"So I take it you're not really interested in looking to date guys, just on here for validation then?" Haha... I figured she wouldn't respond anyways. She ended up writing back within 5 minutes

Her - "Let me get this straight. You think because I didn't respond to *you*, that I don't ever want to respond to *anyone*? And that this message of yours is going to come across as anything other than hostile and self centered? I had no particular reason for not getting back to you -- I'm busy, I have a life-- but now I'm thinking I've really dodged a bullet here"

I had an even longer response wrote out logically refuting her... Then I realized no point in logically arguing with a chick... So I deleted that message and decided to respond with amused mastery and c0cky/funny..

me - " Whoa I'm the hostile one? Quite the response for a playful/teasing question. You seem to get worked up pretty easy... Am I going to have to walk on egg shells throughout our relationship? ;) "

With an attitude like hers, I'm not sure I am even interested. But I figure I'll just keep going along with this to use as a learning experience. She will probably respond with one last fvck you type message then unmatch.
 
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DonJuanjr

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It occurred to me, I probably should have responded with more c0ckyness than anything. Something like:
"Well look at me, I KNOW you're not responding to other guys if you're ignoring a sexy specimen like myself. ;)"

Not that any of this matters anyways...
 

derby1

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but a mid thirties single mom.... I would have thought that would have afforded a little more leeway. I am just frustrated with the missed opportunity of attempted seduction on a date.
nope, as a 38 year old I can tell you this, theyre the worst. if she only has 1 or 2 kids, she will be inundated with men wanting to pump & dump, she confuses this as her value
 
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