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Let me see if I understand this. You think that double texting her your explicit message of “done with communicating until...” is a better way to get your point across than an implicit message of silence and distance at the first sign of low interest.Yeah, that's why I chose to say what I did with the last text. Implying I'm done communicating until she follows through. Until proven otherwise, she's dead to me...
Classic fear of rejection. You have to have the mentality to not care what they think of you.I'll text her tomorrow, and set it up for monday.
I don't know fellas..... I feel like a pu$$y and loser. I was at the bar tonight, and there must have been like 15 collage aged females there. They were in groups of 4-5. I didn't have the balls to approach. I just don't know how to carry on a conversation with a group of chicks. I have nothing interesting going on with my life. My passion is weight lifting and coffee. Really compelling conversation.... My chosen career is boring as fvck, and I just don't know how to relate... Does an older guy have to be interesting to be successful with younger chicks? Or is not caring about their opinion of him, automatically make him higher value and lack of interesting life not matter?
I remember late 2013 when i was reading neil strauss's the game. I was sarging in the clubs. I had a don't give a fu'k attitude. I was a cold approach machine.Are you going out to the bars with your weightlifting buddies? Are you getting together with other coffee snobs to taste each other's roasted beans ($hit that sounds like a gay metaphor...sorry...)
My point being Friday night is a Social night you spend with buddies. It is easier for groups to meet groups for sure, and tough to break into a group that is engaged within itself. I remember being the OLD guy at the college bar 15 years ago...about the same age as you. It's not easy for anyone.
You gotta remember College kids don't know what they don't know....and they have grownups your age and older STILL telling them what to do. Their world is really small. But they think that they are worldly. So if you can get them to tell you about something THEY think is really important and interesting you won't have to do much work in the convo.
So it's not so much what you have to offer as much as you hearing what THEY have to offer.
"you guys go to school at State U here?"
"Dorm Sorority or off campus?"
What ever their response.....
"When I went here the Tri-Delts had the best functions/DonJuan Hall had the best rooms/such and such apartments was the party place/ the Office was the bar all the college kids hit on Friday . Is that still the case?"
They talk about whatever.....
"So you must be getting ready to graduate soon. What are you studying?" And then let them talk about ALL their experiences..."
When you have a big age difference...You gotta be real indirect. You might be conversational with 3 groups before you even try to be flirty with a girl...you gotta warm up.
Next Monday is a long ways away. I'll put money that something comes up by then(better options) and she'll cancel. I don't mean to sound like a downer but just trying to keep your expectations in check based on your previous interaction with her and her making it all difficult.Update:
The chick just texted me back confirming next monday at noon for our date.
How long should I wait to text her, to try and keep her barely registering interest alive?
The way I see it, it started off with already low interest then got lower and you dried up her pvssy double texting, and then stating a time, not once but twice rather than asking. You're texts reek of a power grab and she senses it and it turns her off.I tried rescheduling the date for today with that chick. She didn't respond. I waited a day then texted "I assume you had a change of heart regarding our date?". She replies "No, I'm just trying to figure it out. Due to free time only during the weekdays before 2." I then reply "Tuesday and twelve thirty." She replies that her dad is coming over to do some things for her and that she didn't know when he'd leave. She said that we could keep it up in the air though. I reply with next monday at noon. No response... So after 3 hours I replied "I tell you what, I'll wait for you to give me times and days when you don't have anything going on. I'll pick from them which works best for me. Till' then."
DJs always say to be assertive, control the situation, show decisiveness... That's what I was trying to do. I realize the double texting was a bad idea. What would have you said in place of my replies? So I can better gauge the next scenario without over calibrating. I have not replied to her text of "Next monday at noon works". Should I text her "Sounds good" and then go awol till the day of?
I don't know maybe... She said that it was easier before 2pm to go out, as her daughter is still in school(she has an 8yo). I chose noon because that gives an hour on a date, and if she is craving d!ck, that gives enough time(not that this scenario is likely).Edit: Also noon for a date seems a little odd. Is she expecting a free lunch out of this so she can go on a regular night time date with her first option?
Do everything above exactly as he has suggested, it’s spot-on advice for the situation you are in.Sure, text backs "sounds good". Text her Monday morning to confirm, no texts in between.
Be aware that a noon hour date leaves little chance to escalate
HOWEVER, I have come to believe that is not such a bad thing. Remember, you are supposed to be vetting HER as well as the other way around.
Go meet up, have fun, and don't worry about escalating. See if she suits you.
I wouldn't ask her out for a second date while ON the first date.
Leave it for a few days, then text her and ask her out again if you are interested.
Put away your credit card.
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Don't mix up being assertive as being a d1ck or rude(in their eyes). You don't need to bark up times and make it sound like a command but rather a question. "Tuesday 12:30" sounds more like a command. "Does Tuesday 12:30 work?" sounds like a question.What would have you said in place of my replies?
Yes do that. Mauser96's suggestion is good and mirrors mine.Should I text her "Sounds good" and then go awol till the day of?
She's a single mother with low IL? That's an uphill battle right there.She said that it was easier before 2pm to go out, as her daughter is still in school(she has an 8yo).
Definitely. I always double stack when I can in case one flakes. Or there are days when I do staggered dates if both don't flake. Win/Win either way if you can set it up like that.I am going to make sure I put a little extra effort in approaching other females till then, as I can use this possible date to reinforce abundance mindset.
The man committed to self improvement will always look at his own shortcomings in these situations. He will evaluate what he did to lower the females attraction, take responsibility, and take steps to improve in the future. The lazy, short sighted man will blame the female rather than recognize she is acting exactly as her nature would prescribe.Update:
The b1tch stood me up. I didn't reach out until today to confirm the date. I didn't get a response, but I figured maybe she was getting around or something. Nope.... Oh well, on to the next...