You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
This is the biggest weakness of cold approaching, IMO. If you're a relatively young guy, this probably doesn't apply. But once you get to a certain age (or more correctly, once the girls get to a certain age), the vast, vast majority of them are going to have husbands, or boyfriends at least. Especially if the girls are pretty enough to attract your attention in a random environment.charmest said:My next problem is, everywhere there are already pairs. If I'd like to approach someone, she's either being approached by anyone else or she's together with him.
I didn't get your point. How to get rid off that weakness?zekko said:This is the biggest weakness of cold approaching, IMO. If you're a relatively young guy, this probably doesn't apply. But once you get to a certain age (or more correctly, once the girls get to a certain age), the vast, vast majority of them are going to have husbands, or boyfriends at least. Especially if the girls are pretty enough to attract your attention in a random environment.
This doesn't really phase certain player types, however, since they seem to revel in the fact that they can bang a girl while the unsuspecting schmuck boyfriend sits at home unaware.
I don't think you can get rid of that weakness, it's just inherent to the method. But that's okay, there are pros to cold approaching also (you get to do the choosing, and go after any girl who appeals to you). There are pros and cons to everything. If you get women through social circle, you'll know whether or not they're single, but your choices will be more limited.charmest said:I didn't get your point. How to get rid off that weakness?
I'm 27. Is this old? In my opinion, the time is coming closer that I need a woman. As I've heard, men at older age are atractive for women because of their maturity.
Come on man, you're not that desperate. Have some pride and self respectcharmest said:What about Love Systems' "Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game" by Braddock ?
^^ Ya, I know their true intentions. What do you mean exactly by "reading the bible"? Is the bible= all sites on mts.net or is it only the don juan book?adam225 said:You "need" a women ??? Whilst you are in that mind frame you're setup for disaster (most likely you'll become a slave aka a doormat). You "need" water and food; you "want" a women. Don't mix up "need" and "want"...
Women are nothing more than an extra in life. So snap out of this "I need one" bull sh1t. When you've read the bible and hung around the forum for a bit you should start to understand this. Like I always say - this life is all about YOU. So focus on yourself and becoming happy in who you are. Once you've done that, then you can start looking externally. Keep in mind though, a lot of women will try to destroy your happiness, not add to it.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/adam225 said:This is the bible I was referring to - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195515
Some of Pooks stuff is good - but you must be able to understand the meaning behind some of it. It's not just a simple "glance over".
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
But Push-Pull is flirting as well as Banter. Where does Don Juan explain or tell how to flirt, banter, tease and so on? In wms.pdf?adam225 said:Are you tripping man ?? It's all about self improvement. Not this "trick reverse psychology" bull sh1t. To be honest I don't even properly know what that PUA bull sh1t is. The way I see it though - if you have to use it then you've got deep issues. There's no tricks or games involved - just focus on self improvement and becoming a better person. Become more mindful and know what you want from life (or a women). Never compromise or settle for less. Tricking someone into liking you is the most pathetic crap I could possible think of. They either like you for who you really are or they don't.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.