"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Don Juan Bible: Still legit?
- Thread starter charmest
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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This is the biggest weakness of cold approaching, IMO. If you're a relatively young guy, this probably doesn't apply. But once you get to a certain age (or more correctly, once the girls get to a certain age), the vast, vast majority of them are going to have husbands, or boyfriends at least. Especially if the girls are pretty enough to attract your attention in a random environment.charmest said:
This doesn't really phase certain player types, however, since they seem to revel in the fact that they can bang a girl while the unsuspecting schmuck boyfriend sits at home unaware.
I didn't get your point. How to get rid off that weakness?zekko said:
I'm 27. Is this old? In my opinion, the time is coming closer that I need a woman. As I've heard, men at older age are atractive for women because of their maturity.
zekko
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I don't think you can get rid of that weakness, it's just inherent to the method. But that's okay, there are pros to cold approaching also (you get to do the choosing, and go after any girl who appeals to you). There are pros and cons to everything. If you get women through social circle, you'll know whether or not they're single, but your choices will be more limited.charmest said:
27 isn't old, but if you are going after girls your age you are probably starting to experience this frustration to some extent - more and more girls that you run into are going to be paired off. Especially the attractive ones. The good news is at 27 you can still date the younger ones without much trouble.
Women are nothing more than an extra in life. So snap out of this "I need one" bull sh1t. When you've read the bible and hung around the forum for a bit you should start to understand this. Like I always say - this life is all about YOU. So focus on yourself and becoming happy in who you are. Once you've done that, then you can start looking externally. Keep in mind though, a lot of women will try to destroy your happiness, not add to it.
Come on man, you're not that desperate. Have some pride and self respectcharmest said:
. That bull sh1t will only make you look stupid when the b1tch works out who you really are... Leave it to all the desperate sad people out there. This forum is all about living in reality; not up your own ass ."I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Some of Pooks stuff is good - but you must be able to understand the meaning behind some of it. It's not just a simple "glance over".
http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/adam225 said:
I know this site. But have I to read all the pdf files and all the links?
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I have no friends, but I know I have to acquire social skills. How to do this? Reading "How to talk to anyone" ? Or should I check the Don Juan Bootcamp? I need a 30 day challenge.
EDIT: How important is the voice? I was told having a muffled voice. As I heard myself how I talked, I had a rather higher voice. How to get a very deep and very masculine voice? I even haven't got an adam's apple.
And my biggest problem is "What to say? What are the topics to talk about" with anyone - boys or girls, men or women ...
The social circle part is depresing me. Shouldn't I care of my social circle and just practice by talking to anyone - equal if he/she gets my friend or not? Can I get a girlfriend even if I have no friends?
It should also be possible without it - if you look normal or attractive.
I mean, guys in my environment and all those I know, want something in reward. They want to grow by you. I don't have this. An attractive lifestyle isn't important.
I also can't connect with people. I was told, I could talk, but there wouldn't be any connection. I couldn't magnetize people to make them do what I wanna do. But I have many acquaintances.
So I think: If I wanna live my life, I should do it without caring if I have friends or not. I should just live and enjoy my life. In emergencies, you could try it with speed seduction or night game where nobody is interested in your social circle but in you!
Overthought
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Text game - gone. Unless it is between friends or a short bit of flirting.
Oneitis - gone. Recognised how I stuffed up and next time, no emotional attachment will ever occur.
New hobbies and persuits - life becomes more interesting
All the other stuff, I'll be keeping on reading and working on things.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.