My Name is Nobody
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- Mar 12, 2007
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guru1000 said:NMIN, 28 deep and what have we learned ?
That I need to see a shrink?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
guru1000 said:NMIN, 28 deep and what have we learned ?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Uhhhhh, didn't we learn that by page 2?NMIN, 28 deep and what have we learned ?
That I need to see a shrink?
Hey this place is my therapy it seems to be workingMr. Me said:Uhhhhh, didn't we learn that by page 2?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You are KIDDING me, right? I don't believe this. A girl in drama mode who you are ignoring went out of her WAY to make you notice her to see if she'd get a reaction out of you? Say WHAT??? Are you sure you're being straight with us here? Next you're going to tell us you're keeping an alien in your closet and that he likes reeses pieces.My Name is Nobody said:she went ALL THE WAY out of her department to walk across the entire office and use the copy machine next to my desk and there is one right next to her desk. I saw her checking me out on her walk back but i didn't let her see me looking.
"My ego is fragile and I want to make sure I've still "got it". He's ignoring me. He's full of crap. He wants to talk to me. I'm going to make him uncomfortable and force him to do something to prove to MYSELF that I still "got it" and that he's really still into me. [btw she's right, and her strategy is working)My Name is Nobody said:What the hell is she thinking?
This is beyond that now. What do YOU WANT? To hit it again? Is it WORTH IT? Do you ENJOY the idea of a girl who was cruel to you all of the sudden being into you again? Do you know what she will think if you relapse and chase her again? She'll think..... "yeah. I still got it. Later skater."My Name is Nobody said:Any chance to convert her back into a plate and play it right this time? There has to be a way -- if she really "never wanted to see me again" she wouldn't have checked me out like that.
That was awesome!! You are right. I will not crack! She has my number, she can use it. I like what she is doing for some sick reason but I'm not gonna crack.reset said:You are KIDDING me, right? I don't believe this. A girl in drama mode who you are ignoring went out of her WAY to make you notice her to see if she'd get a reaction out of you? Say WHAT??? Are you sure you're being straight with us here? Next you're going to tell us you're keeping an alien in your closet and that he likes reeses pieces.
"My ego is fragile and I want to make sure I've still "got it". He's ignoring me. He's full of crap. He wants to talk to me. I'm going to make him uncomfortable and force him to do something to prove to MYSELF that I still "got it" and that he's really still into me. [btw she's right, and her strategy is working)
This is beyond that now. What do YOU WANT? To hit it again? Is it WORTH IT? Do you ENJOY the idea of a girl who was cruel to you all of the sudden being into you again? Do you know what she will think if you relapse and chase her again? She'll think..... "yeah. I still got it. Later skater."
That's right. It's sick. It's two egos playing off each other, two adults acting like little children. Here you have a girl who treated you like shyt so your ego is wounded, and all of the sudden you see this power you "seem" to have over her because you've got her making an effort to get your attention.My Name is Nobody said:I like what she is doing for some sick reason
Yeah, and I'm sure she noticed how I changed my shift to arrive to work after she is supposed to be gone. But she always stays late so I keep seeing her. I'm sure she thinks I changed only because of her and she gets a thrill out of that. She was part of the reason, but now I get weekends off so I would have changed it anyway. The opportunity just happened to arise right when all this drama unfolded. So it looks like I changed my shift because of the pain she is causing me. That would explain her nasty little smirk when she left today. Whatever!reset said:That's right. It's sick. It's two egos playing off each other, two adults acting like little children. Here you have a girl who treated you like shyt so your ego is wounded, and all of the sudden you see this power you "seem" to have over her because you've got her making an effort to get your attention.
But it's really about her ego. Sure maybe you're showing some strength and that's great and now she's confused (how much more predictable can this get?). And now YOUR ego is going off the charts because whatever sense of self you lost is back now, in a twisted form.
This is NOT love, or adult, or mature, or masculine. This is DRAMA. And it's for HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude don't let your sense of self be affected, and don't "get off" on how you're making her act. It's good you say you're not going to crack. It can be really hard. But try to rise ABOVE IT.
At the worst this cycle can go on for months and your brain will be sucked out by her. At BEST-- if you just keep ignoring her, and actually STOP CARING, and SHE gets over it a little and grows up HERSELF, you and her MAY be able to get along SORT OF, KIND OF being civil to each other. MAYBE.
This is a great opportunity for you to step back, figure out what matters in life, and decide how much of your energy you want to devote to drama and high school games. After going through this a few times myself, THAT is the most satisfying option.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
This thread is like that HBO series Entourage. I can miss three or four episodes and come back to it still feeling like I know exactly what is going on.Hassan Chop said:First post in the DJ Forum.
THIS THREAD IS EPIC!!!!!
Would read again!!!!!
lol. I think at some point he'll see the pattern.MikeYikes122 said:This thread is like that HBO series Entourage. I can miss three or four episodes and come back to it still feeling like I know exactly what is going on.
wow! That's one page a day. Averaging 18 posts a day. It's a BEAST!Francisco d'Anconia said:BUCKETS!!
This thread is only a month old!!!![]()
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
What happened to the [other] chick who had you head over heels?My Name is Nobody said:The lesson here-- don't mess with girls at work. I changed my shift to get away from her and now she is staying late walking by my desk. Wouldn't have an issue if I didn't have to see her I'd have forgotten her by now. For some reason seeing her p!sses me off and ruins my day.
I'll be contacting her tomorrow. I wouldnt say I'm head over heels I was drunk posting again.Francisco d'Anconia said:What happened to the [other] chick who had you head over heels?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.