Does "No Contact" really work?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

LOL!!!!!!! I'm doing alright buddy, i'm feeling pretty good right now. Not much desire to contact this woman anymore.

Whew....

I'm basically head over heals for this other girl.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

If anything changes, you guys will be the first to know but I found a girl I seem to be compatible with. At least for the time being, as long as I keep paying for dinner.

:nervous:

 

[reset]

Yeah there's no way that was real.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Yeah there's no way that was real.

Hey guys lighten up, it was a joke. She has picked up the tab twice so it's all good I don't think she's using me for money. Everything seems to be clicking on all cylinders so far but no I'm not getting AFC on her. Still haven't had any "talk". Just a little bit because she started asking me about other girls but I didn't lead the discussion anywhere. Told her I'll be busy all week and can't hang out again until the weekend.

 

[reset]

Cool man. Just make sure you tell her how much you care about her ASAP. She's not going to stick around if she doesn't think you're in love with her.
















(don't)

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Cool man. Just make sure you tell her how much you care about her ASAP. She's not going to stick around if she doesn't think you're in love with her.
(don't)

I hear that. She started asking me about other women and I told her I just have to look out for my 6 ex wives and my 5 juvenile delinquent kids.

She started to tell me about her ex (soon to be ex?) and I went into boyfriend destroyer mode HEHEHE. I called him a loser and she started agreeing with me. She told me he is AFC and he is a "worry wart" and calls her all the time. Poor bastard, he's on the way out. I think she is confused because she said something about not being able to figure me out which is what it's all about right?

 

[reset]

I wouldn't bring the other guy up again personally.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I wouldn't bring the other guy up again personally.

She brought it up I don't really care to hear about it. She was complaining about him more than anything else.

 

[reset]

Cool, I'd still change the subject though. There are no other guys in your universe.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Cool, I'd still change the subject though. There are no other guys in your universe.

That's not a bad motto you have there.

 

[Mr. Me]

She started asking me about other women and I told her I just have to look out for my 6 ex wives and my 5 juvenile delinquent kids.

Perfect. But you forgot to include the gay lover.

Just kidding. You may have included it for all I know.

Just kidding again. You did well. I think it works to deflect talking about personal matters like that with humor. Especially this early in.

But it does show her doing her reconnaissance work, checking things out. What did she ask specifically?

I called him a loser and she started agreeing with me. She told me he is AFC and he is a "worry wart" and calls her all the time. Poor bastard, he's on the way out. I think she is confused because she said something about not being able to figure me out which is what it's all about right?

Men's interest in a woman is typically so obvious and easy to read, as most guys come on like puppy dogs panting and begging with tongues out, that when a woman encounters mixed signals, she has NO experience reading it, so she's then thrown into a realm that she knows not how to deal with. Very often, they'll simply resort to telling you how they can't read you, you confuse them, and what they're really doing is asking you to please, please tell them if you're interested or not. I think deflecting with humor works here as well: "Honey, you know I can't stand you" with a twinkle in your eye sort of stuff.

Women love not being sure. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not...

Always better to show by your actions that you're interested rather than in so many words.

I'd still change the subject though. There are no other guys in your universe.

Oh yeah. I don't wanna hear about other men. Me, I wouldn't have shown any negativity and call him a "loser" or anything like that. I'd just be like, "uh huh, uh huh. Ah, another story of sweet love! Hey, I'm hungry, let's grab a bite."

Poor bastard, he's on the way out

Yes it sounds like he is, because, her words are against him. If she were speaking of him badly, but in terms of how it's against her (as in "He never shows me any consideration! We never go out to my favorite places!"), then that may be more about her yearning for a better relationship with the guy.

 

[reset]

Very often, they'll simply resort to telling you how they can't read you, you confuse them, and what they're really doing is asking you to please, please tell them if you're interested or not.

Maybe you can overdo it though. I did all the "right stuff" with my last oneitis until I couldn't take it and in classic AFC style told her how I felt and she's like "I can't tell what you're feeling, yo'ure mysterious and guarded". This is right after I just poured my heart out. I don't think she believed it. I hope she didn't believe it. Because I would not do that again, lol.

This is s a good point. When you are not showing all your cards, they will covertly try to figure out. So, they may mention other guys to see if you will react at ALL. To trip you up a little. I used to think that they were just being bytches and trying to make me jealous, and yes they were but I see more why now. I was just playing it cool. But still maybe too cool.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I agree reset about changing the subject and especially about having no other guys in your universe (excellent mindset ). Instead of keeping her fixated on how bad her ex was, why not have her focus on how much of a step up you are?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Perfect. But you forgot to include the gay lover.

Just kidding. You may have included it for all I know.

Just kidding again. You did well. I think it works to deflect talking about personal matters like that with humor. Especially this early in.

But it does show her doing her reconnaissance work, checking things out. What did she ask specifically?



Men's interest in a woman is typically so obvious and easy to read, as most guys come on like puppy dogs panting and begging with tongues out, that when a woman encounters mixed signals, she has NO experience reading it, so she's then thrown into a realm that she knows not how to deal with. Very often, they'll simply resort to telling you how they can't read you, you confuse them, and what they're really doing is asking you to please, please tell them if you're interested or not. I think deflecting with humor works here as well: "Honey, you know I can't stand you" with a twinkle in your eye sort of stuff.

Women love not being sure. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not...

Always better to show by your actions that you're interested rather than in so many words.



Oh yeah. I don't wanna hear about other men. Me, I wouldn't have shown any negativity and call him a "loser" or anything like that. I'd just be like, "uh huh, uh huh. Ah, another story of sweet love! Hey, I'm hungry, let's grab a bite."



Yes it sounds like he is, because, her words are against him. If she were speaking of him badly, but in terms of how it's against her (as in "He never shows me any consideration! We never go out to my favorite places!"), then that may be more about her yearning for a better relationship with the guy.

Thanks for the input Mr Me, very interesting as usual.

What did she ask me specifically? Well, she said something like "you'll probably have your other girls over this week" so then I told her about the ex wives and kids. Then she said something about not being able to figure me out. Then she pryed for information about how many girls I have had and the first time she asked I said I was a virgin. Then the second time I said I have about a million girls. Then I told her it's somewhere in between. lol

The thing is, I have no other plates right now so this might work against me. As for pouring my heart out? All I have told her is she is "special" and I like being with her.

 

[Mr. Me]

she said something like "you'll probably have your other girls over this week" so then I told her about the ex wives and kids. Then she said something about not being able to figure me out.

Yes, well, I know that's how it sounded to you, but that's because you're a guy. Here's how it probably sounded to her:

"you'll probably have your other girls over this week" was really:

"Are you seeing anyone else? I think you are. I want to know! Do I have you completely or not?"

Then her saying something about not being able to figure you out really meant:

"You're not answering my question seriously and so I still don't know if you're seeing anyone else and if I have you completely or not."

This is easy stuff to translate, as I sift it through an online female brain diagram:

The thing is, I have no other plates right now so this might work against me. As for pouring my heart out? All I have told her is she is "special" and I like being with her.

Who said anything you pouring your heart out? But now that you brought it up...

You've been seeing her only for a couple of weeks, is that right? (Good lord, I feel like a yenta that I even know that...) Don't talk about her being "special" so early on. "I like being with you" should go without saying, but if you must verbalize it, try "we have a fun time together" and connect her to the experience, rather than it be about you expressing how you feel about her to her.

Later on, down the road, you can tell her how you feel. After the honeymoon. Or at least a week after she tells you.

But I don't think deflecting and not getting into the "Do you like me???" subject works against anyone that early on, unless the woman is way rigid and gets so indignant that you won't satisfy her with a straight answer that she stops seeing you - in which case, it still didn't work against you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...The thing is, I have no other plates right now so this might work against me. As for pouring my heart out? All I have told her is she is "special" and I like being with her.

Good thing you recognize this but stop feeling pressured by her to be the only one providing disclosure. If your heart it truly falling for this woman, DON'T DROP IT FROM SUCH A TALL HEIGHT!!! You need to do some mad qualifying of this woman. You're sinking deeper and deeper into the "romance" of being with someone without knowing if this is a person you should truly be with. Haven't you been here before? :nono:

 

[reset]

This is easy stuff to translate, as I sift it through an online female brain diagram:

LOL! Yeah it's simple enough.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...This is easy stuff to translate, as I sift it through an online female brain diagram:

http://www.shockinghumor.com/images/79/womensbrainb9461b.gif

I think there's an updated diagram, one of women who interact with a bunch of guys on MySpace.

http://blueballfixed.ytmnd.com/

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

you: :wave:

her: :kick:

you:

her:

you: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

her: :crackup:

you:

her: :crackup:

lol. Fun with smilies. Talk to you later.

(ps. she gave you closure "never want to see you again". You already got it.)

Oh yeah reset, kudos on this post. It tells the story really well.

 

[reset]

lol. yeah NOW I can laugh at it.

 

[guru1000]

NMIN, 28 deep and what have we learned ?