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Does "No Contact" really work?

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What's everyone's opinion on this? I mean when you like a girl and you have had sex with her but something happens and she stops accepting your invitations to go out, or drops the "LJBF" line on you. That's usually the kiss of death, but sometimes "LJBF" doesn't mean anything and they still hook up with you, like this situation. So I'm trying this method out but unfortunately I am here and not out spinning plates in the process.

So does anybody have any stories where "not contacting" the female you like for however long made her come back?
 
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the_absolute

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What else are you gonna do? be some girl's b!tch? And for the record, if she's actually attracted to you but she is trying to "snuff you out" for whatever reason, then yes she will pursue you if you break off contact. If she really wants to LJBF, she'll probably call saying she's "worried" about you or some bullsh!t, at which point you have the opportunity to rebuild her mental image of you by informing her you've been busy getting laid and go into whatever details.
 
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That's exactly what I'm trying to do. Make her pursue because she has told me she is attracted and I don't want to blow it by chasing her too much.

I am curious to hear your experiences with "no contact" especially how long does it usually take? A few days or weeks to make her crawl back?
 

the_absolute

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Last week a real hot b!tch on my repertoire tried acting all officious when I called her out on a particular game tactic she had employed. I said that I was entertained and she responded with something like "If you're referring to (something), then no, (something)" It's hard for me to give details, never know who might be reading.

Anyway, I just cut her off at that point. I'm not going to have some woman play that BS on me. The next night it was text essay after text essay in my inbox. Now this is a diffferent situation for sure, I don't think I'd even find myself in the position you are in, but man, CUT THAT
B1TCH OFF, and point that sh!t somewhere else.

Remember, though, you've ALWAYS got to have at least three girls on the go. You need two so that you can point that thing in different directions to avoid one of them bowling you over, and you need three in case one of the two burns off.
 
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Got it! Cut that b!tch off how dare she insult me like that.
 

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Well what if you work with her and see her all week. That kind of throws everything for a loop. I will not contact her at work, but we still see each other. And I haven't contacted her for a few days but she'll see me at work. The situation sucks to be honest with you.
 

the_absolute

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If you have to work with her, just act like she's really REALLY boring. And don not think about her.

Seriously, as soon as you have some other girls even in your sights, you'll feel totally better. I mean, there are a LOT hotter women out there. Practice on some hot bartenders to start with. Lots of them will put out if you game them just right, and in the meantime they'll push their tits in your face all night long if you sit at the bar.

Oh, and for the record, the only way to get what you want from women is to always make them pursue you.

We pursue that which retreats from us. We retreat from that which pursues us. Simple enough? Now you just gotta learn how to read women better so you know exactly what it is that sets each of them into a mating frenzy.
 

azanon

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I've been where you are, "my name is nobody", and I'll tell you what I believe the point of "no contact" is:

The purpose of really doing this is more for you personally, and far less so to affect her or your relationship. My experience has been that more times than not after this sort of thing, they actually don't come back. LJBF means just that. The purpose of being able to genuinely move on is for your well-being. The spinning the plates is to further facilitate that process and to make you iron-clad to things that you can't control. Yes, it slightly increases the chance she'll come back over other options, but just keep this factoid in the back of your mind because its not the most important thing here.

"Wanting" her to come back has to be kept, at a maximum, as an afterthought. Otherwise, you can't focus in your life and you just end up waisting your precious time. If she doesn't want you back, think just for a moment how stupid she is to miss out on your greatness then move along. Indifference/apathy is such a powerful thing if you learn when and how to employ it when the time comes. When you're able to get that crooked grin on your face, and feel how at peace you are inside even when you're rejected, that's when you know that you're there.
 
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Well we just chatted and she has no plans tomorrow and I'm going to go to her place and watch the ball drop. Hopefully it works out.
 

Mr. Me

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Wow, you managed to hold off all contact for a few hours. That'll show her!

So you chatted and that's all it took for you to say "gee I have no plans for NYE either and I miss you too and so I'll come over"? You are one tough dude!

So she LJBF'd you, then after a short time, you agreed to go hang with her, so let me ask you, who do you think now has the power forevermore in this relationship?

There was a gal I was dating since the summer, she was really into me and last week, really drew even closer to me. So we had plans to go out this past Saturday night, but now that she was more emotionally involved, she reacted to my wanting to go out someplace, because she'd rather I stay in with her and snuggle. She took it as a slight, and in her reaction, canceled the date. Big mistake on her part.

I don't tolerate that nonsense, so I went no contact. She texted me, I didn't respond, and then she finally called a couple days later, I let it go to VM, where she left a lengthy apology. I still haven't called her back. In her message she said that she's the loser here, now she regrets acting hastily. I don't know if I want to call her back, but if I do, it's not going to be the same, as I'll be taking that relationship several steps back. Who has the power in this, would you say?

Azonon has it right, BTW. When you have to go No Contact, it's for YOU, not as a tactic to have them come running back, although that's a side effect sometimes. When they realize that they've lost you, if it means anything to them, that's what triggers it. It also lets you know if they really want you or not. Just watch out for the ones that try to get you back only for the sole purpose of dumping you a week later. Women LOVE to have the last word.
 

JLR

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The following was posted in another thread I read some time ago, and I think it's apropos here. It's dialogue from the movie "Swingers".

Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There's the rub.
Rob: There's the rub.
 

STR8UP

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One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies.
 
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She ended the chat "see you tomorrow ok? bye"...with plans to see the ball drop together tomorrow night... works for me we'll see what happens. She let me know she would be alone tomorrow so I am glad I decided to be nice and strike up a convo tonight...
 

reset

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JLR said:
I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Thank God for that.
 
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She is trying to kill me. I spent a good part of the morning getting things ready for tonight and she tried to send me a text saying "I won't be at home I have to be with my sister sorry". So I called her up and talked for a few minutes and then I said "so i'll see you tonight right?" and she said "okay see you tonight".... So the plans are still on... but WTF.. more games?
 

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Mr. Me

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Did you read that part of my post where I warned you "Just watch out for the ones that try to get you back only for the sole purpose of dumping you a week later. Women LOVE to have the last word" or did you ignore it because I wasn't telling you what you want to hear?

It's not a test. You were already tested, and failed. She's just not into you. She got her last dig in. Move on, or hang around and get beat up on some more.
 
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I'm not getting beat up. She doesn't really get to me anymore. She can play all the games she wants it no longer bothers me. The main reason I am upset is because we made plans last night, she tried to flake a few minutes ago, then she unflaked when I called her and here I am.

I am upset if she flakes because I spent money this morning getting things ready. But as of right now she said "See you tonight". This was AFTER the text she sent to try and cancel. So we'll see what happens or if she tries to further flake. As of right now I'm still heading to her place tonight.
 

Mr. Me

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Fact is, you are getting beat on, and that's why you're upset. Don't kid yourself.

So okay, she'll see you tonight, a guy she's LJBF'd, though she has to be with her sister (she claims). Let's see how that pans out. Me, I'd make other plans. Happy new year!
 
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Mr. Me said:
Fact is, you are getting beat on, and that's why you're upset. Don't kid yourself.

So okay, she'll see you tonight, a guy she's LJBF'd, though she has to be with her sister (she claims). Let's see how that pans out. Me, I'd make other plans. Happy new year!

Maybe the text cancelling our plans tonight was a sh!t test to see if I would react like an AFC. She has been trying to break me in this way forever and I won't break. She tried to do it last week telling me about some new guy she likes. I am thinking it's a good chance she is making this stuff up as we go along.

I keep remembering the other guy she did this too who showed up drunk and stalked her. She wants me to be that guy it won't happen. She hates that guy now and won't talk to him. Most guys are like that guy.

I did the proper thing called her to see what's up with her cancelling the plans. Whatever I said changed her mind and she ended the convo "see you tonight".

And I have hit it since she originally "LJBF" me so I don't put stock into that phrase with her anymore.
 
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I hate to say it but MR. ME looks right on the money. Here's what happened.. go ahead and let me have it I asked for this.

I went to her place it was good we watched the ball drop. We kissed when the ball dropped but she pulled away first even though she complimented my kissing.. whatever.

So she offered for me to keep drinking and I said only if I can crash on the couch and she didn't object. So we kept drinking and we both got drunk.

So we start watching a movie and then she starts talking about her ex husband. Then she shows me her myspace page and she still has pictures of her ex husband on there. Then she points out her "male" myspace friends like I care as if she wants to make me jealous.

Then she starts how all men are liars and cheaters.

I dont know what I said but she flipped and threw me out and I was drunk. I left when she asked but realized I couldnt drive so I pounded on her door a few times (mistake) she didnt answer. She turned off her cell. What a nightmare.

I guess I deserve this.
 
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