"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Does "No Contact" really work?

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
People want what they can't have there is no logical explanation behind it.
Dude that's a bit weak, even when guys say that about women. Women want guys that they can't have because it fills some need of theirs, it's no different with guys.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Dude that's a bit weak, even when guys say that about women. Women want guys that they can't have because it fills some need of theirs, it's no different with guys.

To tell you the truth, what I really want is to somehow still convert her into a plate. That would be the ideal situation! But I'm pretty sure that is impossible at this point unless there is a magic text message I can send to make her interested again, lol.

If anyone has a magic text message it would be you Francisco, so let's hear it lol. Or is this mission impossible?
 

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It's the ideal situation if you get off on drama. If you get off on drama, women who are all over the place emotionally, who like you one day and hate you the next, and keep you on your toes constantly wondering what the hell they are thinking or going to do next, if that excites you and makes you feel "alive" then yeah women who will do that are going to be the perfect situation. When women reject you and you are somehow able to keep pushing their buttons and you can both mess with each other's egos, and both go nuts together, boy it's great. It is quite stimulating. So stimulating it can keep you up nights and unable to concentrate or do much of anything because you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I used to get off on that. It's taking time but I just need to leave that stuff behind me. I'm wondering what it's like to be with girls who treat you with respect and are good to you, and actually go out of their way to NOT mess with you because they know you'll shut them down in a heartbeat if they do. The fact that you're so strong inside is what turns them on. THAT might be the perfect situation for me. But I don't think it's the perfect situation if drama turns you on. Actually if drama turns you on, women treating you well probably will turn you off. And as a result of that, you probably won't attract women like that anyway.
 
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reset said:
It's the ideal situation if you get off on drama. If you get off on drama, women who are all over the place emotionally, who like you one day and hate you the next, and keep you on your toes constantly wondering what the hell they are thinking or going to do next, if that excites you and makes you feel "alive" then yeah women who will do that are going to be the perfect situation. When women reject you and you are somehow able to keep pushing their buttons and you can both mess with each other's egos, and both go nuts together, boy it's great.

I used to get off on that. It's taking time but I just need to leave that stuff behind me. I'm wondering what it's like to be with girls who treat you with respect and are good to you, and actually go out of their way to NOT mess with you because they know you'll shut them down in a heartbeat if you do. THAT might be the perfect situation for me. But I don't think it's the perfect situation if drama turns you on. Actually if drama turns you on, women treating you well probably will turn you off. And as a result of that, you probably won't attract women like that anyway.

How am I going to keep pushing her buttons? I haven't talked to her for almost 3 weeks. I still have the #, but I have no idea how to use it or if I should even think about using it. I don't care about the drama, I will never go AFC with her again that was my downfall.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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I don't know man. Like I said if you get off on drama the best way to do that is wonder if you should contact her and spend time considering if you should or not, and consider if maybe or maybe not you should get with her again, for a long time, never really deciding if you want to or not.

You can't say you're not into drama and still be considering something that's gonna invite drama! :rock:
 
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reset said:
I don't know man. Like I said if you get off on drama the best way to do that is wonder if you should contact her and spend time considering if you should or not, and consider if maybe or maybe not you should get with her again, for a long time, never really deciding if you want to or not.

You can't say you're not into drama and still be considering something that's gonna invite drama! :rock:

LOL, good point. So what should I send?
 

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Ha ha. I'm sure that was sarcasm.
 
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reset said:
Ha ha. I'm sure that was sarcasm.
Nah, I'm actually serious. I'll send her a message if we can think of something good. Come on, it's been 3 weeks. Why not?
 

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I was going to say, you should send yourself to.... drama rehab!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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My Name is Nobody said:
Nah, I'm actually serious. I'll send her a message if we can think of something good. Come on, it's been 3 weeks. Why not?
I write for me mainly because as I write it helps to clarify what I'm learning, and hopefully get insights from other guys. Hopefully what I'm writing to you about you is at least considered by you. Seriously, re-read my post then wonder what my response would be about sending her a message after three weeks.

(also, after three weeks, if she's not trying to contact you, that's a sign she doesn't want to contact you)
 
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reset said:
I write for me mainly because as I write it helps to clarify what I'm learning, and hopefully get insights from other guys. Hopefully what I'm writing to you about you is at least considered by you. Seriously, re-read my post then wonder what my response would be about sending her a message after three weeks.

(also, after three weeks, if she's not trying to contact you, that's a sign she doesn't want to contact you)

Just a funny text message, it's not like I'm harassing her. What's the harm in that? She would probably like it.
 

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:flowers:

=

:cry:
 
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reset said:
:flowers:

=

:cry:

Is it really that bad? I'm think i'm the type of guy who needs closure on things, maybe I need to work on that.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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you: :wave:

her: :kick:

you: :mad:

her::rolleyes:

you: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

her: :crackup:

you: :cry:

her: :crackup:

lol. Fun with smilies. Talk to you later.

(ps. she gave you closure "never want to see you again". You already got it.)
 
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reset said:
you: :wave:

her: :kick:

you: :mad:

her::rolleyes:

you: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

her: :crackup:

you: :cry:

her: :crackup:

lol. Fun with smilies. Talk to you later.
I LOL'd!
 

MikeEdward1973

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My Name is Nobody said:
Is it really that bad? I'm think i'm the type of guy who needs closure on things, maybe I need to work on that.
I think the only thing you can do is wait for a lot of time to pass, and maybe call her in like 3 months.

I've been in your shoes, and blown it (badly) with someone I really liked with too many AFC moves. Only thing I did that worked was wait for a lot of time to pass, and then reach out to her again. Her interest level may rise if you walk away for a long period of time, but I mean much longer than 3 weeks.

I'd wait till like...April.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Francisco d'Anconia said:

LOL!!!!!!! I'm doing alright buddy, i'm feeling pretty good right now. Not much desire to contact this woman anymore. I'm basically head over heals for this other girl. If anything changes, you guys will be the first to know but I found a girl I seem to be compatible with. At least for the time being, as long as I keep paying for dinner.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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