Does "No Contact" really work?

[Paradox]

I just saw her at work. She looks PISSED. I am avoiding her at all costs. I don't care about the movies I'll pay for them because I have no desire to communicate with her. If she is decent she will bring it up.

And the lesson here guys is.......Never date someone who you work with. It almost always never ends well.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

And the lesson here guys is.......Never date someone who you work with. It almost always never ends well.

It's fine. We are both mature enough to not let it affect work. But I can see it would be a big problem if I was AFC and "in love" with her or something like that.

 

[Mr. Me]

But I can see it would be a big problem if I was AFC and "in love" with her or something like that.

Here's the bigger view: Most dating relationships don't pan out, so when they don't, you're still left having to face the other person every day. At best, that's just awkward, but even if you're not an AFC, being how the female may not like you anymore, she may...

spread bad gossip about you
claim you harass her
turn others against you
be your boss someday
influence your boss someday
sabotage your career

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Thats true but I did nothing but treat her right and be nice to her so I am not worried about that.

 

[Paradox]

Thats true but I did nothing but treat her right and be nice to her so I am not worried about that.

I just saw her at work. She looks PISSED. I am avoiding her at all costs.

Ummm nevermind.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Ummm nevermind.

Yes she looks pissed but I don't think she's pissed at me. She didn't even see me today I just saw her from far away. She is being unusually quiet too. She's not the type to start rumors I think. Why would she be angry at me?

 

[Mr. Me]

Maybe she's got cramps. Don't try to guess her mood by her facial expressions.

In her mind, you did something, real or imagined, that made her real angry, angry enough to kick you out. Now, she may be unable to handle her luggage, and maybe you didn't do anything atrocious, but to her, you're the bad guy and it's real to her. That's why she may be looking pissed. But like I said, we don't know. We don't want to know.

Wow, look at all the drama you would've been spared if you really did go NC.

Anyway, just be cool.

 

[Latinoman]

Is no woman at all better than dealing with this woman? I sent the email that's the last she will hear from me I'm just trying to push her buttons see if she replies at all.

I no longer see this woman as a possible girlfriend but if she had me over on new years eve french kissing when the ball dropped there still has to be a chance to have some sex.

You are one of the BIGGEST AFCs I have seen in this place. Dude...she threw you out of the door DRUNK. You could have gotten robbed or a DUI. And you still trying to contact her or talking with her? Are you THAT desperate for attention? Do you have a snatch between your legs?

What's wrong with you?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You are one of the BIGGEST AFCs I have seen in this place. Dude...she threw you out of the door DRUNK. You could have gotten robbed or a DUI. And you still trying to contact her or talking with her? Are you THAT desperate for attention? Do you have a snatch between your legs?

What's wrong with you?

Who the hell says I am trying to talk to her? I have NOT talked to her since the incident and I don't plan to unless it's to get my stuff back. If she apologizes I will consider it if she makes it up to me.

 

[Latinoman]

Who the hell says I am trying to talk to her? I have NOT talked to her since the incident and I don't plan to unless it's to get my stuff back. If she apologizes I will consider it if she makes it up to me.

You still one of the BIGGEST AFCs in this place. You rationalize things like a woman. She disrespected you and you still trying to get together with her? What about self-respect? If you lack that...you should not expect others to respect you either. You should not expect ME to treat you with respect either.

If I was in your shoes...I would have walked away and stopped all communication with her. Only thing I would have done is asked her to please bring the movies to work. Then leave it at that. I wouldn't even talk to her anymore. Even if she appologized. Unless it was work related as you have no choice there.

Dude...she does NOT respect you. She respects the man that dumped her azz.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

She disrespected you and you still trying to get together with her? .

Where did I state I am trying to get back together with her? That is not true and I haven't talked to her and I don't plan on talking to her. Did you just come in here to flame? She is a HB8 or 9 and I hit it twice so take your AFC flames elsewhere.

 

[Interceptor]

but sometimes "LJBF" doesn't mean anything and they still hook up with you, like this situation. So I'm trying this method out but unfortunately I am here and not out spinning plates in the process.

So does anybody have any stories where "not contacting" the female you like for however long made her come back?

dunno, but seems to me, you're trying to get her back

 

[My Name is Nobody]

dunno, but seems to me, you're trying to get her back

That was BEFORE the new years eve disaster.

 

[Latinoman]

She is a HB8 or 9 and I hit it twice so take your AFC flames elsewhere.

The same HB8/9 that her exhusband cheated on and dumped? Hahaha.

What I saw was a woman SCREAMING at you and KICKING YOU DRUNK AZZ out of her house. And a confused little man asking for advice on how to get back with her.

You are acting like this is the first time you "hit an HB8/9". I have news for you...you are not the first one to hit that one and you won't be the last one. Also...There plenty out there.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

The same HB8/9 that her exhusband cheated on and dumped? Hahaha.

What I saw was a woman SCREAMING at you and KICKING YOU DRUNK AZZ out of her house. And a confused little man asking for advice on how to get back with her.

You are acting like this is the first time you "hit an HB8/9". I have news for you...you are not the first one to hit that one and you won't be the last one. Also...There plenty out there.

But the fact is you came in here and ran your mouth without even knowing the whole story.
So hop off my d!ck.

 

[Latinoman]

But the fact is you came in here and ran your mouth without even knowing the story. So hop off my d!ck.

I read the entire thread. That's how I reached the conclusion that you are the biggest (or one of the biggest) AFCs in this place.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I read the entire thread. That's how I reached the conclusion that you are the biggest (or one of the biggest) AFCs in this place.

Hey man, before the new years eve disaster me and this girl were pretty cool. I shouldn't have chased her as aggressively as I did, I already admitted to that mistake. I shouldn't have even been there that night she gave me warning signs and I didn't listen.

She has pics of her ex husband all over the place. That isn't right. I never saw that sh!t before new years eve.

 

[Interceptor]

Cool, bro..

So, ok then..

What have you learned fnom this debacle?

Are you willing to put into practice your lessons, and make sure you assert yourself and your needs, and maintain your dignity and self respect?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I agree I would be pathetic if I was still contacting her after she threw me out but I have not done that. She is probably waiting for me to do that so she can laugh at me but I have ignored her and we both have been unusually quiet today at work. It is making it a little weird. I haven't made eye contact with her and I don't want to even see her. We sit close enough that we can hear each other talking and she has been really quiet.

 

[Latinoman]

Hey man, before the new years eve disaster me and this girl were pretty cool. I shouldn't have chased her as aggressively as I did, I already admitted to that mistake. I shouldn't have even been there that night she gave me warning signs and I didn't listen.

She has pics of her ex husband all over the place. That isn't right. I never saw that sh!t before new years eve.

THAT can happen to anyone. THAT does NOT make you AFC. What makes you AFC is trying to rationalize (making excuses ) her behavior and trying to find ways of "hitting that again". Instead, what you should be doing is sharing that experience with us (hey, we ALL have bad experiences and we ALL have made bad choices before...that does NOT make us AFC. What makes us AFC or DJs is how we react to those situations).

Take care dude.