"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Do you trust women?

Do you trust women?


  • Total voters
    85

Jariel

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Just a very simple question, but I'm curious how many guys here have trust issues or are generally cynical about women.

Please answer honestly.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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flippinfreak

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This is more a question for the 'mature' men.
 

TheTrader

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i trust them to behave like woman behaves, so shall i vote yes or no?
 

Jariel

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I know I should answer that I judge them individually, but I voted for "mostly" because of all the women I know, only a small percentage have given me reason to distrust them. Sure, I've been hurt and betrayed VERY badly, but by less than 10 women (that I can recall), which is very small compared to the 100s of female friends and dozens of decent girlfriends and dates I've had.

People who voted rarely or no, well I guess their experiences with women have been very negative.

I'm not sure which is worse - trusting and getting betrayed by women, or being restricted by distrust. But obviously our experiences shape how we perceive other people.
 

picard

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I am cautious when approaching women. They are like wild animals; they aren't domesticated.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Brian20o2

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I trust them to be women. By that I mean, I know that women change their minds at random for who knows what reasons and often do things they said they never would.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Brian20o2 said:
I trust them to be women. By that I mean, I know that women change their minds at random for who knows what reasons and often do things they said they never would.
Sounds more like you trust yourself to know what they are about and to act accordingly. :up: 'Authentic' trust has more to do with yourself than it does the other person.

Just something to consider.
 

flippinfreak

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Jariel:

I chose to say I judge them individually, until than I will enjoy calling it seduction.
 

VegasGuy56

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I don't trust women...period.

So far I haven't met a single woman who hasn't blatantly lied to my face for one reason or another. Even my LTR GFs lie. I've always hated liars, but now I realize that in relationships lying is fair game. Sad...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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belividere

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For the most part I pretty much trust women, really I pretty much trust most people. I'm very laid back and not controlling in the least bit. To my knowledge, no girl has cheated on me. The only girlfriend that I ever actually lied to had serious trust issues and got extremely jealous over nothing.

To the people who said no, how do you manage to maintain a relationship if you cannot trust a woman?
 

Friendly Otter

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I trust them to, on average, make decisions on a different basis than men. To men the objective truth has more value than to women. To women, what is safe has more value. Safety for themselves and those around them. If that means hiding truths, or betraying honor, then they will do so. I don't believe the word honor has much meaning to them - it is far too abstract, and doesn't provide any safety.

For example: a man may choose a battle he knows he cannot win simply because it is the honorable thing to do. He knows he'll go down - that could mean getting his grades lowered, being ostracized, getting beaten up, or being shot in the battlefield - but he feels that honor compels him; he may feel that maybe it will set an example and do some good that way, or simply that honor itself is worth something.

To women, I believe, this is incomprehensible. Granted: it is, today, incomprehensible to many Western men as well, immature and soft and modern as most of them are. But to women, even more so. I know I have never in my whole life heard a woman speak of honor, but I have heard men speak of it. Women seem to hate the concept.

So do I trust women? I trust them to act in accordance with their nature. They will help me if it is safe or neutral for them to do so, not otherwise.
 

ShizamDaMan

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I trust people until they give me a reason not to.
 

( . )( . )

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Brian20o2 said:
I trust them to be women. By that I mean, I know that women change their minds at random for who knows what reasons and often do things they said they never would.
Bingo, beat me to it. And from a 17 year old aswell, the kids light years ahead of you jariella you could probably learn something here.

P.S I notice you sneakily brought out the society shaming techniques by saying anyone who votes NO has "issues with women", nice.:down:
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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don juan jr

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i have trust issues with everyone (male or female)

but generally i judge the individual
 

Jariel

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( . )( . ) said:
P.S I notice you sneakily brought out the society shaming techniques by saying anyone who votes NO has "issues with women", nice.:down:
I never said that. I said that they must've had negative experiences with women and that their distrust must be restricting.

I have purposely withheld my opinion from this thread, but just wanted to see how people's trust reflects in their posts. I believe my experiences with women are mostly positive because I think positively, while the reverse can be said of those who think negatively.
 
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Skilla_Staz

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I judge individually. They always start out with me not trusting them. They have to earn it.
 

Scumfrog

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Generally speaking I don't trust most men or women. I'm sure there is a fair share of trustworthy women out there. People have to earn your trust, but I think women are capable of being as trustworthy as men.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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