"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Do You Pursue Girls That Show Interest In You First?

Juan_Man

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I realize that I almost never pursue girls who show interest in me first. Sometimes, I'm not into the girl. Other times, I find the girl attractive but I'm too insecure to go for it. I usually think that the girl has high expectations or sees me in a fantasy-like way and I'm afraid that I won't be able to live up to that image. If her interest falls, then my ego is crushed.

I usually pursue girls whose interest is undetectable or girls who I have to work to get their attention. I feel like these girls are attracted to the "real" me if they show interest. Plus, if it doesn't work out, I don't feel as bad because there was no image that I had failed to live up to. I can at least commend myself on the work that I did to build their attraction to me.

Can anyone relate or am I completely out of my mind?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Crazy Asian

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90% of girls that show interest in me before any contact with me are either fat or ugly. so no.
 

trverb

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I can relate. I find myself losing interest in girls if they are obviously interested in me. ive worked on my game but it doesn't incorporate girls coming after me. Right now Im dating a girl that has been eying me for a year unbeknownst to me. she hangs around with a girl I know and for about a year was always asking about me and generally asking everybody I know "how Im doing". Started dating her recently and she knows things about me I dont remember ever telling her...but Im having trouble with the dating because Im just not used to this situation and am completely confused about how to proceed.....but you are not crazy man we both are
 

thedeparted

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I think you're missing out. If they are to your liking, they are the easiest pickings.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ARrocket

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I think you're completely out of your mind lol.

Granted, you can't pursue every girl that shows interest....but I definitely pursue a good number of them.
 

Jitterbug

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Of course. I pursue girls who are giving IOIs. Common sense.
 

comic_relief

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I only pursue girls that show me interest first.

It is easier and i don't have to work as hard. Plus, I know that they like me (or are faking it but haven't had that yet)

comic_relief
 

randalll

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"I think you're missing out. If they are to your liking, they are the easiest pickings."

ive been told this so many times!

mind you a lot of girls who showed interest in me had had alcohol.

i cant fully change into a DJ tho, i can put on a DJ personality, but girls eventually see through it. the deeper lasting changes ive made have not been very significant so far.


i know what you mean about failing to live up to an image as well, i got this the other night when i was in bed with this girl, just got nervous that i'd screw up.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Why not persue a girl that is interested in you? It makes it easier for you to fvck her!! Unless, she is not your type and ugly...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ezily

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:crackup:
It's funny how guys think the same way as girls. If we show interest too soon or are too obvious then that's a turn off. For me, unless I'm also attracted to the girl (which I'm usually not), if a girl shows interest first then I don't usually like it. I feel kinda bad for her. Good thing guys are the ones who get to pick which girls they ask out.
 

The Deacon

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Juan_Man said:
Do You Pursue Girls That Show Interest In You First?
Only if I like the way they look and I can vibe with them.
 

comic_relief

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randalll said:
"I think you're missing out. If they are to your liking, they are the easiest pickings."

ive been told this so many times!

mind you a lot of girls who showed interest in me had had alcohol.

i cant fully change into a DJ tho, i can put on a DJ personality, but girls eventually see through it. the deeper lasting changes ive made have not been very significant so far.


i know what you mean about failing to live up to an image as well, i got this the other night when i was in bed with this girl, just got nervous that i'd screw up.
I think that this is the main problem with many DJ's on this site. They think that being a DJ is something that an individual can just turn on and off. No, it is not.

Being a DJ is becoming the DJ. It is a state of mind that becomes a personality.

Many people on this website figure that it is something to be turned on and off. It took me over two years in order to do it, but once the transformation is complete and a DJ has killed their inner demons, true and lasting change will occur.

Once you are at peace with yourself, then women will come naturally.

comic_relief
 

Uncle Matt

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no girls ever show interest in me :(
 

Jmasta23

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Juan_Man said:
I realize that I almost never pursue girls who show interest in me first. Sometimes, I'm not into the girl. Other times, I find the girl attractive but I'm too insecure to go for it. I usually think that the girl has high expectations or sees me in a fantasy-like way and I'm afraid that I won't be able to live up to that image. If her interest falls, then my ego is crushed.


Can anyone relate or am I completely out of my mind?
Dude i got a similar problem...A girl showed interest in me a few weeks ago and told me that it would be great to out and stuff...so when i did asked her out..she flaked on me and told me that she was sick, so we should rescheduled for another ocassion...Since then i havent asked her out again..i guess i dont want to get flaked again..LOL
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Blackmm

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Crazy Asian said:
90% of girls that show interest in me before any contact with me are either fat or ugly. so no.
Reminds me of something that happened a few years back to me. My cousin was visiting my mother and she had this fat friend with her. I wasn't living there, but my photo was on the fireplace mantle. anyway to make a long story short, fatty got my home phone no from my cousin and she started calling me and isht being all forward and aggressive like fat chicks are. I just stopped answering my phone whenever I saw her on the caller ID and I guess she got the idea. Same thing happened when I was visiting a relative in the hospital. A nurse, who was a friend of the relative got my number (when did nurses become fat?) anyway, its annoying.
 

Mr.Smith

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Crazy Asian said:
90% of girls that show interest in me before any contact with me are either fat or ugly. so no.
I'm in the same situation Asian. Any girl that shows interest in me is either fat, ugly or too insecure in herself.
 
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