"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Do You Pursue Girls That Show Interest In You First?

Juan_Man

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I realize that I almost never pursue girls who show interest in me first. Sometimes, I'm not into the girl. Other times, I find the girl attractive but I'm too insecure to go for it. I usually think that the girl has high expectations or sees me in a fantasy-like way and I'm afraid that I won't be able to live up to that image. If her interest falls, then my ego is crushed.

I usually pursue girls whose interest is undetectable or girls who I have to work to get their attention. I feel like these girls are attracted to the "real" me if they show interest. Plus, if it doesn't work out, I don't feel as bad because there was no image that I had failed to live up to. I can at least commend myself on the work that I did to build their attraction to me.

Can anyone relate or am I completely out of my mind?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Crazy Asian

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90% of girls that show interest in me before any contact with me are either fat or ugly. so no.
 

trverb

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I can relate. I find myself losing interest in girls if they are obviously interested in me. ive worked on my game but it doesn't incorporate girls coming after me. Right now Im dating a girl that has been eying me for a year unbeknownst to me. she hangs around with a girl I know and for about a year was always asking about me and generally asking everybody I know "how Im doing". Started dating her recently and she knows things about me I dont remember ever telling her...but Im having trouble with the dating because Im just not used to this situation and am completely confused about how to proceed.....but you are not crazy man we both are
 

thedeparted

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I think you're missing out. If they are to your liking, they are the easiest pickings.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ARrocket

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I think you're completely out of your mind lol.

Granted, you can't pursue every girl that shows interest....but I definitely pursue a good number of them.
 

Jitterbug

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Of course. I pursue girls who are giving IOIs. Common sense.
 

comic_relief

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I only pursue girls that show me interest first.

It is easier and i don't have to work as hard. Plus, I know that they like me (or are faking it but haven't had that yet)

comic_relief
 

randalll

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"I think you're missing out. If they are to your liking, they are the easiest pickings."

ive been told this so many times!

mind you a lot of girls who showed interest in me had had alcohol.

i cant fully change into a DJ tho, i can put on a DJ personality, but girls eventually see through it. the deeper lasting changes ive made have not been very significant so far.


i know what you mean about failing to live up to an image as well, i got this the other night when i was in bed with this girl, just got nervous that i'd screw up.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Why not persue a girl that is interested in you? It makes it easier for you to fvck her!! Unless, she is not your type and ugly...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ezily

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:crackup:
It's funny how guys think the same way as girls. If we show interest too soon or are too obvious then that's a turn off. For me, unless I'm also attracted to the girl (which I'm usually not), if a girl shows interest first then I don't usually like it. I feel kinda bad for her. Good thing guys are the ones who get to pick which girls they ask out.
 

The Deacon

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Juan_Man said:
Do You Pursue Girls That Show Interest In You First?
Only if I like the way they look and I can vibe with them.
 

comic_relief

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randalll said:
"I think you're missing out. If they are to your liking, they are the easiest pickings."

ive been told this so many times!

mind you a lot of girls who showed interest in me had had alcohol.

i cant fully change into a DJ tho, i can put on a DJ personality, but girls eventually see through it. the deeper lasting changes ive made have not been very significant so far.


i know what you mean about failing to live up to an image as well, i got this the other night when i was in bed with this girl, just got nervous that i'd screw up.
I think that this is the main problem with many DJ's on this site. They think that being a DJ is something that an individual can just turn on and off. No, it is not.

Being a DJ is becoming the DJ. It is a state of mind that becomes a personality.

Many people on this website figure that it is something to be turned on and off. It took me over two years in order to do it, but once the transformation is complete and a DJ has killed their inner demons, true and lasting change will occur.

Once you are at peace with yourself, then women will come naturally.

comic_relief
 

Uncle Matt

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no girls ever show interest in me :(
 

Jmasta23

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Juan_Man said:
I realize that I almost never pursue girls who show interest in me first. Sometimes, I'm not into the girl. Other times, I find the girl attractive but I'm too insecure to go for it. I usually think that the girl has high expectations or sees me in a fantasy-like way and I'm afraid that I won't be able to live up to that image. If her interest falls, then my ego is crushed.


Can anyone relate or am I completely out of my mind?
Dude i got a similar problem...A girl showed interest in me a few weeks ago and told me that it would be great to out and stuff...so when i did asked her out..she flaked on me and told me that she was sick, so we should rescheduled for another ocassion...Since then i havent asked her out again..i guess i dont want to get flaked again..LOL
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Blackmm

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Crazy Asian said:
90% of girls that show interest in me before any contact with me are either fat or ugly. so no.
Reminds me of something that happened a few years back to me. My cousin was visiting my mother and she had this fat friend with her. I wasn't living there, but my photo was on the fireplace mantle. anyway to make a long story short, fatty got my home phone no from my cousin and she started calling me and isht being all forward and aggressive like fat chicks are. I just stopped answering my phone whenever I saw her on the caller ID and I guess she got the idea. Same thing happened when I was visiting a relative in the hospital. A nurse, who was a friend of the relative got my number (when did nurses become fat?) anyway, its annoying.
 

Mr.Smith

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Crazy Asian said:
90% of girls that show interest in me before any contact with me are either fat or ugly. so no.
I'm in the same situation Asian. Any girl that shows interest in me is either fat, ugly or too insecure in herself.
 
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