Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I know a couple of monks who have extremely interesting lives but I would hardly describe them as outgoing. More proof that it's all subjective.Charm&Style said:besides living an interesting life it also depends on how outgoing one is.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You plan on limiting the myriad of interesting things life has to offer to only the next four years of your life? WHY???!!!Master Bates said:No, I don't. And I'm trying to think of ways to change that before my 20s are gone forever....
These are things that I wanna do also.speakeasy said:2) Backpack trip in S. America
3) Go to carnival in Brazil
4) Buy a motorcycle
5) Learn to play guitar(I used to take lessons a looooong time ago). Maybe get back into my saxophone and jam with some of my jazz playing buddies.
6) Maybe, just maaaaybe start competing in martial arts tournaments if I get good to that point. But not sure about this one.
7) Learn how to salsa dance really well
10) Start reading more books on a wide variety of interesting subjects(makes for better conversations).
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Um...Francisco d'Anconia said:I know a couple of monks who have extremely interesting lives but I would hardly describe them as outgoing. More proof that it's all subjective.
I don't know about killing yourself, lol, but this was a pretty interesting post. I've never thought about that. Would I like to know when I was going to die. When you put it this way, I think I would like to know. You would approach your entire life completely differently. Any bullsh*t that wastes your time, you will cut out and focuse in on what you really consider fullfilling.6-heads lewis said:kdnash, what do you do that involves so much travel?
i wrote this yesterday and submitted to imatternot.com:
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...imagine if a doctor told you today that you have 1 year to live... imagine how great that year would be. I wish I knew exactly when I was to die, so I could enjoy my time until death without worry about the future. Instead im just another corporate bozo in a marketing firm preaching about efficiency, sales pitches, communication and customer service. im selling useless crap to idiots.
...instead of living 5 exhilirating, adventurous years and then dying, im stuck living another 50 boring, predictable, numb years, at which point im senile and can't control my bladder.
...everyone is so concerned with buying a bigger house, bigger car, and getting celebrity autographs? for what? you're all fukn pathetic, and im just as pathetic for not knowing how to change.
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to answer your question, my life is very uninteresting and unfulfilling. Ive often contemplated creating a timeline, lets say 5 years, to blow all my money and live recklessly, at which point I kill myself. id become a professional fighter, gambler, porn star, sperm donor, whatever. take massive bank loans, travel, etc.
most of the great film rebels die soon, which is why it is so hard to follow in their footsteps. I would rather be brad pitt from fight club, or kevin spacey in american beauty, or ghost dog, for 1 year than live my life for the next 50, BUT, in all likelihood i wont be dead in 1 year, and living that lifestyle just makes you homeless and unemployable. none of the great heroes had to live with the consequences of their lifestyle. I would assume James Dean often died in his movies.
THATS MY DILEMMA! it seems suicide is the only answer, or putting yoruself in a situation that guarantees an eventual death.
LOL, good one... Y'know, you end up meeting a wide variety of people when the Dalai Lama comes to town (I've seen the 14th speak twice).Luthor Rex said:Um...
Were you hanging out at the "monk bar" when you met them???
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Seriously, where did you meet up with monks? Also, do tell what's interesting about their lives.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.