You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I know a couple of monks who have extremely interesting lives but I would hardly describe them as outgoing. More proof that it's all subjective.Charm&Style said:besides living an interesting life it also depends on how outgoing one is.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You plan on limiting the myriad of interesting things life has to offer to only the next four years of your life? WHY???!!!Master Bates said:No, I don't. And I'm trying to think of ways to change that before my 20s are gone forever....
These are things that I wanna do also.speakeasy said:2) Backpack trip in S. America
3) Go to carnival in Brazil
4) Buy a motorcycle
5) Learn to play guitar(I used to take lessons a looooong time ago). Maybe get back into my saxophone and jam with some of my jazz playing buddies.
6) Maybe, just maaaaybe start competing in martial arts tournaments if I get good to that point. But not sure about this one.
7) Learn how to salsa dance really well
10) Start reading more books on a wide variety of interesting subjects(makes for better conversations).
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Um...Francisco d'Anconia said:I know a couple of monks who have extremely interesting lives but I would hardly describe them as outgoing. More proof that it's all subjective.
I don't know about killing yourself, lol, but this was a pretty interesting post. I've never thought about that. Would I like to know when I was going to die. When you put it this way, I think I would like to know. You would approach your entire life completely differently. Any bullsh*t that wastes your time, you will cut out and focuse in on what you really consider fullfilling.6-heads lewis said:kdnash, what do you do that involves so much travel?
i wrote this yesterday and submitted to imatternot.com:
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...imagine if a doctor told you today that you have 1 year to live... imagine how great that year would be. I wish I knew exactly when I was to die, so I could enjoy my time until death without worry about the future. Instead im just another corporate bozo in a marketing firm preaching about efficiency, sales pitches, communication and customer service. im selling useless crap to idiots.
...instead of living 5 exhilirating, adventurous years and then dying, im stuck living another 50 boring, predictable, numb years, at which point im senile and can't control my bladder.
...everyone is so concerned with buying a bigger house, bigger car, and getting celebrity autographs? for what? you're all fukn pathetic, and im just as pathetic for not knowing how to change.
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to answer your question, my life is very uninteresting and unfulfilling. Ive often contemplated creating a timeline, lets say 5 years, to blow all my money and live recklessly, at which point I kill myself. id become a professional fighter, gambler, porn star, sperm donor, whatever. take massive bank loans, travel, etc.
most of the great film rebels die soon, which is why it is so hard to follow in their footsteps. I would rather be brad pitt from fight club, or kevin spacey in american beauty, or ghost dog, for 1 year than live my life for the next 50, BUT, in all likelihood i wont be dead in 1 year, and living that lifestyle just makes you homeless and unemployable. none of the great heroes had to live with the consequences of their lifestyle. I would assume James Dean often died in his movies.
THATS MY DILEMMA! it seems suicide is the only answer, or putting yoruself in a situation that guarantees an eventual death.
LOL, good one... Y'know, you end up meeting a wide variety of people when the Dalai Lama comes to town (I've seen the 14th speak twice).Luthor Rex said:Um...
Were you hanging out at the "monk bar" when you met them???
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Seriously, where did you meet up with monks? Also, do tell what's interesting about their lives.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.