She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I know a couple of monks who have extremely interesting lives but I would hardly describe them as outgoing. More proof that it's all subjective.Charm&Style said:besides living an interesting life it also depends on how outgoing one is.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You plan on limiting the myriad of interesting things life has to offer to only the next four years of your life? WHY???!!!Master Bates said:No, I don't. And I'm trying to think of ways to change that before my 20s are gone forever....
These are things that I wanna do also.speakeasy said:2) Backpack trip in S. America
3) Go to carnival in Brazil
4) Buy a motorcycle
5) Learn to play guitar(I used to take lessons a looooong time ago). Maybe get back into my saxophone and jam with some of my jazz playing buddies.
6) Maybe, just maaaaybe start competing in martial arts tournaments if I get good to that point. But not sure about this one.
7) Learn how to salsa dance really well
10) Start reading more books on a wide variety of interesting subjects(makes for better conversations).
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Um...Francisco d'Anconia said:I know a couple of monks who have extremely interesting lives but I would hardly describe them as outgoing. More proof that it's all subjective.
I don't know about killing yourself, lol, but this was a pretty interesting post. I've never thought about that. Would I like to know when I was going to die. When you put it this way, I think I would like to know. You would approach your entire life completely differently. Any bullsh*t that wastes your time, you will cut out and focuse in on what you really consider fullfilling.6-heads lewis said:kdnash, what do you do that involves so much travel?
i wrote this yesterday and submitted to imatternot.com:
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...imagine if a doctor told you today that you have 1 year to live... imagine how great that year would be. I wish I knew exactly when I was to die, so I could enjoy my time until death without worry about the future. Instead im just another corporate bozo in a marketing firm preaching about efficiency, sales pitches, communication and customer service. im selling useless crap to idiots.
...instead of living 5 exhilirating, adventurous years and then dying, im stuck living another 50 boring, predictable, numb years, at which point im senile and can't control my bladder.
...everyone is so concerned with buying a bigger house, bigger car, and getting celebrity autographs? for what? you're all fukn pathetic, and im just as pathetic for not knowing how to change.
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to answer your question, my life is very uninteresting and unfulfilling. Ive often contemplated creating a timeline, lets say 5 years, to blow all my money and live recklessly, at which point I kill myself. id become a professional fighter, gambler, porn star, sperm donor, whatever. take massive bank loans, travel, etc.
most of the great film rebels die soon, which is why it is so hard to follow in their footsteps. I would rather be brad pitt from fight club, or kevin spacey in american beauty, or ghost dog, for 1 year than live my life for the next 50, BUT, in all likelihood i wont be dead in 1 year, and living that lifestyle just makes you homeless and unemployable. none of the great heroes had to live with the consequences of their lifestyle. I would assume James Dean often died in his movies.
THATS MY DILEMMA! it seems suicide is the only answer, or putting yoruself in a situation that guarantees an eventual death.
LOL, good one... Y'know, you end up meeting a wide variety of people when the Dalai Lama comes to town (I've seen the 14th speak twice).Luthor Rex said:Um...
Were you hanging out at the "monk bar" when you met them???
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Seriously, where did you meet up with monks? Also, do tell what's interesting about their lives.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.