Do yall ever send the first text after the first date

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Lol got the “lack of spark” response…Changes are being made to deal with this Disney mentality.

 

[derby1]

This is simply not true. I've messaged many women over the years after a date, and usually got a response which lead to another date

When Ive invested heavily, arranged logistics, and most likely picked up 80% of the tab, she messages me first or she never gets this mans
quality time again

Women cant get a quality mans time, it is the equivalent of finding Henry the VIII body armour

 

[derby1]

If she doesn't let you know that she arrived home safely I would message the following morning explicitly ask if she arrived safely to reopen her.

you should not be showing much concern for a woman who has given you nothing, especially re-asking the morning after, comes across as sarcastic beta male. She heard your instructions loud and clear the night before, trying to rationalise her no-contact is a fools errand.

 

[Don Dark Horse]

I gotta chime in here and say this:

If you want to know if she has arrived home safely, without sounding needy or weird or showing that you care, message her an hour after the date and say you enjoyed it. When she replies back then you know she's fine. If she doesn't reply back then guess what, next. And if you want to remain "mysterious" then don't respond for a few days after her reply.

It completely depends on the girl and the vibe between the 2 of you. Some girls I will show the care and ask them to let me know when they arrived safely. Others I won't even bother to text that I enjoyed the date.

Some guys here saying they don't ever send the text after the date and wait for her to text first. If it's a tinder or Instagram date or you are just another plate to her then this is the move.

Although, when you really connect with a person it won't fricken matter when you text them.

 

[IKO69]

Usually yeah, it's often about something funny that happened.

 

[BDDazza]

Invite a girl out to a date, buy her a drink and show her a good time. Now you’re going to reach out and thank her for it?

I never said you should thank her.

A girl with high interest will contact you each and every time. If you’re worried about competitors, her interest is lukewarm at best and not worthy of your time.

Yes, equally a woman with high interest won't penalise you for messaging her either.

Anecdotally speaking, it has worked wonders for me. The first time I did it, the chick sent me a really long text about how much she loved that and how happy it made her. It helps that a lot of the women I have dated see me as some sort of "father figure".

I used to have an ex girlfriend who use to get angry/upset if I didn't ask if she arrived safely. Ever since I integrated it into my game, because its instant feedback. If she doesn't reply I know the date went bad and I can move on quicker.

Yes it applies. Just dont do it. Especially after hooking up. She gets messages all dam day long. Stand out. Have options

How about sending a message that stands out, or are you incapable of crafting a message that stands out

Although, when you really connect with a person it won't fricken matter when you text them.

Indeed!

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Depends - is she a new plate or a genuine keeper love interest?

assuming the latter absolutely not - send her a text that says thank you, had a great time,
”I got tickets for X on Thursday what time do I pick you up?”

Costs you nothing and could mean everything to her.

 

[BDDazza]

Doesnt work bro. 9/10 when you reach out first you are the thirsty one. Ive not been proven wrong. Even when that week it works she replies, within a month shes ghost.

Doesn't work for you. Keyword you.

It didn't work for you because she wasn't interested in you.

It does work, you've been proven wrong already because me and Zimbabwe have been doing it successfully for years.

 

[anonymous12345]

I think this is a classic trap: thinking there's one model/answer that always works. Often in game there's so much uncertainty and different factors that doing X doesn't always succeed/fail, it varies. So, we're all right, depending on factors. But we can still find out what is "generally best", and what works in the particular cases.

 

[anonymous12345]

Guage it from the beginning. This frame MUST be set at day 1.
I can only imagine how this REALLY goes for you. Cheatue Heartiste has an excellent series on text game. Read it.

Where do I find these series of Heartiste's text game? I've read these:

Chateau Heartiste Text Game

Comprehensive information on Chateau Heartiste Text Game on our website.

www.beaumarisartgroup.org.au

haven't read the Reddit stuff yet though.

I found those texts quite useful for day and night gaming/approaching. Like to not over game (did this, did over qualifying also), soft belly, attainability.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Depends. If I feel like it yes. This is usually not going to make or break the relationship.

 

[manfrombelow]

For me, NO.

Reason:

1/ If the 1st date went well (you kissed, even fvcked): She would reach out to you because it's female nature to reach out to a male who made them feel good.

2/ If the 1st date went sh!tty (no chemistry, awkward conversation, no kiss, etc...): You would only make it worse by initiating contact afterwards.

 

[anonymous12345]

It helps that a lot of the women I have dated see me as some sort of "father figure".

Attained experience/knowledge or not I’d say I also get a father figure role. Younger girls, in particular these 19-23 in my current environment. They mirror my opinions and views, some rapport. I’ve often shied away because it’s “wrong” and not the “responsible thing to do,” it feels like “power abuse.” Lulz. This principle of being “responsible” has even gone so far as not accepting an obvious come-on from a guest at my dinner party, because “I was the host.” Wtf. No comment. Even delirious. I think I can carve out these things myself, but suggestions for addressing this kind of beta behavior is appreciated.

On the other hand, I’ve seen the father-thingy as a concern, because it to me feels like some kind of friend zone. Maybe I’m right. I don’t want to be a trusty teddybear for them, but maybe that’s a good start. The task is to turn it sexual and into dominance, “daddy gonna show you.” I guess I shouldn’t be afraid or feel shameful for that power position.

Some on Twitter post about that a sign of attraction is the “cheering” and copying of the man they adore, so I guess it’s a general trait of women. One should be proud. Maybe we’re wrong in titling it “father figure”, it’s more about simply being a man.

I don’t know about your perspective, @Zimbabwe.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

There's a rule in business that I heard of that basically says whoever speaks business first loses, does this apply to dating?

There is also this saying that goes: "You can never say the wrong thing to the right person".


Modern Man Advice

 

[Scars]

I think it's situational. Do whatever you want.

One of the things I dislike about the PUA community is that it's become so robotic and almost like a series of mathematic equations.

If girl does A then you do B and result is C.. etc. Where is the fun in that?

I've been on dates and texted them right when I got home that I had a good time, and some of them became LTR or FWBs.

If a girl is interested, it won't matter.

You could text a girl you had fun and she gets excited and wants to see you again the very next day and you end up smashing her, and get the lay that much sooner.

You could also ignore her until she texts you, but what if the text never comes? Maybe you didn't show enough interest during the date and she wanted to see you show more initiative, but she was still interested.. now you will never know.

The problem with dating is that there is so many variables involved and "textbook advice" is not always the best advice.

If you're truly an "alpha male", then you do whatever the fvck you want.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I think it's situational. Do whatever you want.

One of the things I dislike about the PUA community is that it's become so robotic and almost like a series of mathematic equations.

If girl does A then you do B and result is C.. etc. Where is the fun in that?

I've been on dates and texted them right when I got home that I had a good time, and some of them became LTR or FWBs.

If a girl is interested, it won't matter.

You could text a girl you had fun and she gets excited and wants to see you again the very next day and you end up smashing her, and get the lay that much sooner.

You could also ignore her until she texts you, but what if the text never comes? Maybe you didn't show enough interest during the date and she wanted to see you show more initiative, but she was still interested.. now you will never know.

The problem with dating is that there is so many variables involved and "textbook advice" is not always the best advice.

If you're truly an alpha male, then you do whatever the fvck you want.

Totally agree.

On another note using the word alpha male is super cringe xD

 

[EyeBRollin]

I call her 5-9 days after the first date. To see if she caves…

 

[Scars]

Totally agree.

On another note using the word alpha male is super cringe xD

Haha, yes agreed.

 

[Zimbabwe]

On the other hand, I’ve seen the father-thingy as a concern, because it to me feels like some kind of friend zone. Maybe I’m right. I don’t want to be a trusty teddybear for them, but maybe that’s a good start. The task is to turn it sexual and into dominance, “daddy gonna show you.” I guess I shouldn’t be afraid or feel shameful for that power position.

Your perspective is very different from mine, I always saw it as something natural and normal. A woman desires to be protected and cared for, if they had a bad relationship with their father they look for another male figure to latch onto, I've had the whole daddy daughter thing be both sexual and outside the bedroom.( I used to have a gf that would buy me fathers day gifts). It might seem weird to most people but it's a role i really enjoy, I feel protective and in control.

Some on Twitter post about that a sign of attraction is the “cheering” and copying of the man they adore, so I guess it’s a general trait of women. One should be proud. Maybe we’re wrong in titling it “father figure”, it’s more about simply being a man.

Well if we look at Freudian Psychology it is known as the electra complex, it does have basis in anthropology because most women seem to subconsciously date men that remind them of their own fathers.

I do agree with your last point that it's simply being a man, A man is supposed to protect and care for his family not this "equality" nonsense.

 

[Manystyles]

Had a date last night at 730pm. She was all over me all night, handsy, trying to hold my hand, her gaze. Things changed when i got in my car to drop her off. It's like she was testing me. Grabbed gum from my console without asking, asking to change the music when she was telling me the whole time that she wanted to hear my music and not wearing a seatbelt.


We made out prior, i even backed off when she wanted more. She also talked about cooking me food and watching tv shows with me. When i dropped her off she gave me a kiss on the Cheek. "Do you want to see me again?" She asks. I responded with maybe. She tells me to text her when i get home. I felt pathetic for the kiss on the cheek. I never texted her... I'm wondering if she is going to reach out. Just soo odd how she goes from such high interest to maybe low unless I'm overthinking