Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Do yall ever send the first text after the first date

DonBud94

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2021
Messages
53
Reaction score
37
Age
27
Your comparing business to sending a girl a message after a date which tells me you like to over complicate things.
In my experiences if things go well a girl always hits me up the same night or early next morning chit even if it goes well sometimes they wait for me to hit them up so there's no correct answer to this. I do what I want so if they wait for me to hit them up then I hit them up when I'm good and ready
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
1,671
Reaction score
2,731
Age
61
Each person probably has their own formula.

I'll share mine. It works for me, but not saying that it's a one size fits all for everyone.

If I score, then I have no reservations about initiating a next day text. If a woman has given up the goods, then she's not going to get smug (at least so far in my experience) over a man initiating the 'day after' text.

On the other hand, if I didn't get the green light, then it's up to them. Because I'll pick up the tab on drinks (or on a rare occasion even a dinner) there's an 'unwritten protocol.' If they don't follow up with something like "Thanks again for the drinks" or "I had a good time last night" then it's likely that they aren't interested or that they lack certain manners. Either way, nether case should be worth further investment.
 

Genetic Error

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
127
Reaction score
49
There's a rule in business that I heard of that basically says whoever speaks business first loses, does this apply to dating?
had this exact thought myself. idk tho, probably just wait for them to message. and we should have plates and thingsto do to keep us occupied instead of waiting for her to message. if she doesnt then she probably wasnt interested
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
9,894
Reaction score
9,571
Age
37
I do if it's a reasonable time, simply because if who texts first is going to change the outcome then the raw sexual attraction on her end isn't there regardless.

How many times have you had a great date and the woman desperately texts you after silence from you, only for things to go nowhere? Often. It's just to assuage her ego.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

darksprezzatura

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
1,140
Reaction score
1,502
Each person probably has their own formula.

I'll share mine. It works for me, but not saying that it's a one size fits all for everyone.

If I score, then I have no reservations about initiating a next day text. If a woman has given up the goods, then she's not going to get smug (at least so far in my experience) over a man initiating the 'day after' text.

On the other hand, if I didn't get the green light, then it's up to them. Because I'll pick up the tab on drinks (or on a rare occasion even a dinner) there's an 'unwritten protocol.' If they don't follow up with something like "Thanks again for the drinks" or "I had a good time last night" then it's likely that they aren't interested or that they lack certain manners. Either way, nether case should be worth further investment.
Bump
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
3,305
Reaction score
3,262
There's a rule in business that I heard of that basically says whoever speaks business first loses, does this apply to dating?
While there are some similarities between business and dating, it is not entirely analogous. The business areas that are most similar to dating are marketing and sales. Marketing and sales are not the same thing.

If you have arranged your first date via swipe app, use the @EyeBRollin/Doc Love technique of not contacting them for 5-9 days after the first date (unless they contact you first), especially if there was no sex on the first date. If there was sex on first date, you might be able to drop a couple of days off of this. Most first dates don't result in sex for most men. 5-9 days of no contact after an in-person interaction (unless they contact you first) is a good idea for the communication frequency until the first instance of sex.

The above will be applicable in most in-person approaching settings of strangers after first dates.

You will not need to do this with social circle arranged dates.

You will need great discipline to be able to execute this. An abundance mentality and/or actual abundance is helpful.

How many times have you had a great date and the woman desperately texts you after silence from you, only for things to go nowhere?
That's been rare for me. Few women are clingy nowadays because women have so many options. Women have abundance mentality now because they have actual abundance of prospects.
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
9,894
Reaction score
9,571
Age
37
That's been rare for me. Few women are clingy nowadays because women have so many options. Women have abundance mentality now because they have actual abundance of prospects.
I see anxious avoidant mentality with abundance of prospects. I've seen at least 3 identical field reports here in the past few weeks. Low interest women feigning interest post-date to extract more validation.

The more abundance, the more ego, the more ego sensitivity to rejection.
 

BDDazza

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2010
Messages
83
Reaction score
44
There's a rule in business that I heard of that basically says whoever speaks business first loses, does this apply to dating?
There is no rule governing who should text first, why start the courtship with games unnecessarily?

If the date genuinely went well it should feel natural to continue the conversation via text regardless who initiates it. A lady whom is interested isn't going to penalize you or ignore you if you text first, and if she isn’t receptive to your text then it means either the date didn’t go well or she didn’t like you much to begin with.

Also some women will outright refuse to contact a man first even if she likes the guy. If you meet women like that you’ll both cancel one another out and ghost one another; in that scenario you both lose out! Remember an attractive women or even an average looking women has more options than most men, so the man usually always loses the texting war.

I guess the bottom line is don’t over complicate it, if you want to text her, then text her, if you don’t want to text her, don’t.

 

Bethatsocialguy

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2022
Messages
32
Reaction score
47
Age
30
It really depends on how you leave the date. Normally, a good way to leave a first date is to say "Text me if you want to meet up again" or "Text me if you want to (*insert something you talked about during the date*)" This is a good option especially if you didnt take things further during the date (which you definitely should aim for on a first date)

If you slept with the girl, I would keep it open and say "We should meet up again soon" and again this could mean leaving it for a few days to see if she texts or texting her after a few days very casually.

Remember, you should always be looking for other options too so that you arent needy when putting all your eggs in one basket
 

Don Dark Horse

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 2, 2021
Messages
118
Reaction score
92
There's a rule in business that I heard of that basically says whoever speaks business first loses, does this apply to dating?
If you truly connected with the person, there is no reason you should not hit her up the next day.

If she is just another number, who cares.
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
2,891
Reaction score
2,889
never contact her first, its the equivalent of telling her you like her. These modern women need to be kept in a constant state of anxiety,simple as.

theyre dopamine receptors are fried, and certainty disgusts them.
 

Stuffnu

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
236
Reaction score
317
Never. Girls crave the mysterious and the unpredictable.
If she doesn’t reach out to you, interest is likely too low.
So be it, you should be too busy chasing other poon.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

BDDazza

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2010
Messages
83
Reaction score
44
never contact her first, its the equivalent of telling her you like her. These modern women need to be kept in a constant state of anxiety,simple as.

theyre dopamine receptors are fried, and certainty disgusts them.
This is simply not true. I've messaged many women over the years after a date, and usually got a response which lead to another date.

Not texting her will not put her in a state of anxiety, woman have dozens of better looking guys messaging her, she is not going to lose any sleep over your games.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: B80

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
1,482
Reaction score
1,040
Age
34
This is simply not true. I've messaged many women over the years after a date, and usually got a response which lead to another date.

Not texting her will not put her in a state of anxiety, woman have dozens of better looking guys messaging her, she is not going to lose any sleep over your games.
But if other guys are hitting her up right away, couldn't this create FOMO for her?
 

Zimbabwe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
1,141
Reaction score
1,458
Age
25
I always end the date with "text me when you get back, so I know you got home safe". Most women find it really sweet and it forces them to text first. If they don't it means no interest from them.

The kind of girls that expect men to text first are on a one way express trip living alone with cats at 30 years of age.
 

BDDazza

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2010
Messages
83
Reaction score
44
But if other guys are hitting her up right away, couldn't this create FOMO for her?
Attractive women really don't care about missing out, she can fill her calendar up every day of the week.

We are competing against her established plates too, these are ex boyfriends and her friends with benefits. She will rank these guys above a random guy she just met.

If she is really fond of the date, she may initiate the first text message, however if she doesn't message, then we will look desperate reaching out after her long silence.

I always end the date with "text me when you get back, so I know you got home safe". Most women find it really sweet and it forces them to text first. If they don't it means no interest from them.
This is a really good pro-tip.

If she doesn't let you know that she arrived home safely I would message the following morning explicitly ask if she arrived safely to reopen her. If she still doesn't respond that is when I would forget about her.
 
Last edited:
Top