"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

do women judge a man’s desirability by how well he reads and respond to flirting?

Pumax

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Even tho you guys know I'm a bit on the autistm spectrum, it's something I came to understand lately.

I saw how it works IRL, and so I've asked myself "how does a woman gauge how desired, desirable, and "high-value" a man is..how does she determine that a man is experienced, attracts women, and is actually getting laid?

As far as I can tell, I thought, she based that on how he responds to her flirting.

Let’s look at some examples.
If a woman flirts with a man, it can play out in two ways:

1) He’s "too autistic", like me, and misses even the most obvious signals.
He doesn’t respond to the flirtation, or rather, it falls flat because he takes everything literally.
She doesn’t feel "understood" because he answers the literal question she asked, rather than the underlying intent.
At the same time, this shows her that he’s a serious guy who doesn’t like to play games. He’s focused on his life and on being authentic.
Usually, these are guys like me, mature men who have their lives together and are successful, but who consistently miss these kinds of social cues.
But, at this point, she feel that if this man cannot read women flirting, there must be something wrong with him, and so, he has low value, even tho he is attractive and own his sh1t togheter.(This happened to anyone in life, and we also have an entire 3d for it, so this might not be an "autistic man only issue" https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/most-obvious-come-on-that-was-missed.13316/ )

2) He responds well to the flirtation. She feels understood because he realizes she’s "playing", he’s able to read between the lines of her "questions" and grasp her true intentions.
In that moment, he’s managed to step outside the framework of "real life" to engage with whatever playful nonsense she’s brought up.
She feels a greater sense of rapport with a man like this.
Consequently, a woman will assume that, even if he’s less physically attractive, and he doesn't own his sh1t, this man is the one who’s sleeping with more women, has higher value, and makes her "feel better", "understood".

There have even been extreme instances of "Case 1."
In such cases, rather than attempting to flirt, the woman might declare her feelings outright or ask the man out on a date. If you’re curious, you can find examples online: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2ylpi
In "Case 1," the woman might feel rejected, or perhaps simply conclude that the situation is too embarrassing, or that the man lacks the self-confidence to be direct and negate her.

In "Case 2," however, if she is negated, she perceives the man as having the guts to say things to her face.

It would be awesome to find out what you guys found out to be true in your experince
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Pumax

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Also, think about it.

Which of the two men will most likely have problems in LTRs when women are having emotional problems, because they don't feel "listened to," and thus resentment builds?
And which of the two guys would be willing to eat more sh1t and be more disrespected by her?

For example, I would expect to be the man 1 to whom she is communicating something with intent, but not being able to understand what she wants unless she actually verbalizes it. However, I can't imagine being disrespected or eating her sh1t, which Man 2 might do, because he finds it fun and it's part of his game, while he could probably understand what is going on
 

BaronOfHair

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@Pumax "It would be awesome to find out what you guys found out to be true in your experince"

We're all constantly scanning one another for indicators as to whether or not someone will align with us, whether we recognize that we're doing so or not. Women are no different when assessing a man's desirability
 

BackInTheGame78

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I mean, I've never been more embarrassed to read how many men on Reddit stories post about how they "asked a woman if they could kiss her".

Thank God I read a post that some guy was incredulous because a woman actually told him "That's not something you ask, you just do".

And most guys think this is "asking for consent" and defend it.

It's honestly fvcking pathetic...guys with no testosterone and no social skills to be able to read women and their reactions or human interactions to understand how this actually works reporting to having to "ask". I mean they might as well be a little kindergartner raising their hand to use the bathroom to women, because that's what they look like.

So if they are waiting for a man to know how to flirt, they are going to be waiting a long time. They don't even know how to know how to know if a woman wants to be kissed.
 
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zekko

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I mean, I've never been more embarrassed to read how many men on Reddit stories post about how they "asked a woman if they could kiss her".
Forget about asking, did they fill out the proper consent forms?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

zekko

Master Don Juan
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I saw how it works IRL, and so I've asked myself "how does a woman gauge how desired, desirable, and "high-value" a man is..how does she determine that a man is experienced, attracts women, and is actually getting laid?

As far as I can tell, I thought, she based that on how he responds to her flirting.
You know, I've honestly never thought about this before, but I think you may be on to something. I know I've been clueless any number of times about a woman coming on to me. Women's signals can be so subtle, they can go right over your head. But if you're a guy who's especially tuned into that sort of thing (which, I confess, is not me), you might be seen as a guy with a lot of experience, a guy who "gets it", and a guy with high emotional intelligence, all things which are attractive to most women.
 
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